Pregnant age 35 and feel incredibly old

[Boohoo123456]

Whilst I thought 35 was not too old to have second baby, since I’ve been pregnant, all the other mums seem to have completed their family by 32/33 at the eldest!!!

I hate feeling old. Im worried I’ll never be able to let it go and just enjoying being a mum to my last baby.

every women I see I am calculating their age in my head… it’s become an obsession!!

I just don’t see many mums my age that I can relate to.

I feel like a freak.

I was 34 when I got pregnant which felt fine but 35 really seems extreme.

its not even like I can say well at least I’m earning loads of money and lived a great life beforehand because that isn’t true. I don’t have my shit together and still have to develop my career so I don’t have an excuse
to be this old.

does any other ‘older mums’ feel like this? Is there anything I can do to let it go. It’s making me miserable before baby even comes… I keep thinking - when he’s 5, I’ll be 40, when he’s ten, I’ll be 45, when he’s 20, I’ll be 55!! It won’t stop

Thanks in advance

ps. I am in shape and reasonably attractive but obviously don’t look 28! I look 32 on a good day !! This will obv change when bubz comes as I’ve heard they age you by ten years… 😢

Had my second child at 42 and get what you mean about feeling 'old' but honestly you really are not. When I mentioned my age to the midwife she said she used to work in London and 42 was just a normal age to have a baby there. Actually where I live I am an older mum but there are a few of us around and I'm definitely not alone.

I think there's a lot of social pressure in the run up to your fortieth birthday. Like you should have your life in order and sorted and all that! Your children should be fully functional and you should be coasting to career success and living in a fancy house and driving blah blah car.

I have good news: once I hit 40 I forgot to give a shit any more and just started to enjoy my life 😂 hopefully that will happen to you too OP.

Not ‘educated’ but ‘successful’ the two aren’t mutually exclusive

It's an emotive topic as some of the responses show - OP I am older than you (37) and just now starting to TTC our second child. I do understand the feeling of anxiety about your age - but I think it is just that, anxiety, because having a baby is a very anxious time, lots of stuff gets stired up and it has to cotton onto something. If it wasn't your age, it would probably be your mortgage, or your baby's gender or something else, as you'll see from other threads! I would try to see it as an anxiety rather than a concrete reality that there is some right or wrong age to have a baby.

Edit - 34 when I had my second! Not 44!!

Don’t be daft. It’s a long, long time since most women were having their babies in their late teens and early 20s. I had all mine during my 30s, as do most women now. There was a time when a first time mother of 35 would be considered an “elderly primigravida”, but not now, and it’s not even your first.

FFS. A lot of women are having their first child at 35, it's very normal now.

Since when 35 is old? You make it sound like you're 70.

Well, it’s middle aged I suppose - on the brink of perimenopause and a lot of mums I know over 40 have struggled. They’re great mums, but don’t feel too good in themselves.

Yep you are ancient

Research shows a strong correlation between maternal education levels and later childbearing. It's not controversial.

Wow... surely 35 is a normal age?

In my NCT class I was a 34 year old spring chicken. Most ladies were between 37-42. Baby groups were the same but maybe that's just the area I'm in?

Even now at 37 I don't know any couples who have completed their families, most are still on their first child. I've said to DH I want to be done before I'm in dire need of a facelift 😅

Tbh, the youngest person I know socially was 31 having their first child, and they were the youngest by at least a few years. There are plenty just getting started much closer to 40.

I don’t know anyone who has struggled with a baby in their 40s. Most of them were a lot fitter and healthier than they were in their 30s - they liked to party a lot!

I don’t think there is a huge difference between a 35 and a 45 yr old. I certainly can’t tell how old people are. There are good and bad points of having a baby at any age, unfortunately some people think the age they had their child is the best and like to disparage others who chose differently.

I don’t think there is a huge difference between a 35 and a 45 yr old.

10 years

Yeah exactly.

There's nothing wrong with Holly Willoughby. People need to leave her alone!

Anyway. You are not old.

Someone posted this a few weeks back. With the same age and same
question!

I was 38 when I had my first and my 2 neighbours were also 38 when they had their babies within 10 weeks of me. I'm 40 and pregnant with my second and don't feel too old, it's definitely a mindset thing

Sorry OP, I think this is your problem to deal with. I don't recognise this at all. I had my child at 34 and if we have another I'll be probably 37 or 38.

I have a large group of mum friends and they range in age from 25-40, some have one child, some have 2 or 3 children. No one is bothered and we all socialise and go on nights out together.

If you're feeling physically old, that's something you can address with diet and exercise, but the rest is in your head.

10 years it a lot. Can’t pretend it isn’t

I know loads of people who've had babies after 35! It's not that old at all. My friend is currently pregnant with her 3rd at 41!
Anyway there's not much difference between 33 and 35

I've got a 6 week old and I'm 36.5

I don't feel old at all

Older maybe that when I did with my 1st (I had him when I was 31) but that's because I am older 😂

I had my last at 36. Most of my friends were having babies then and into their early 40’s. I thought I was still young at that point

You really don’t start falling apart at 40 as a rule. Honestly, I’m 50 and could totally physically manage looking after a baby. Not biologically but I feel totally the same as I did at 25 or 30