Pregnant age 35 and feel incredibly old

[Boohoo123456]

Whilst I thought 35 was not too old to have second baby, since I’ve been pregnant, all the other mums seem to have completed their family by 32/33 at the eldest!!!

I hate feeling old. Im worried I’ll never be able to let it go and just enjoying being a mum to my last baby.

every women I see I am calculating their age in my head… it’s become an obsession!!

I just don’t see many mums my age that I can relate to.

I feel like a freak.

I was 34 when I got pregnant which felt fine but 35 really seems extreme.

its not even like I can say well at least I’m earning loads of money and lived a great life beforehand because that isn’t true. I don’t have my shit together and still have to develop my career so I don’t have an excuse
to be this old.

does any other ‘older mums’ feel like this? Is there anything I can do to let it go. It’s making me miserable before baby even comes… I keep thinking - when he’s 5, I’ll be 40, when he’s ten, I’ll be 45, when he’s 20, I’ll be 55!! It won’t stop

Thanks in advance

ps. I am in shape and reasonably attractive but obviously don’t look 28! I look 32 on a good day !! This will obv change when bubz comes as I’ve heard they age you by ten years… 😢

Ffs it's completely normal these days. You're pregnant, if you didn't want to be an old mum in your opinion why did you get pregnant again?

I’m having my first at 36, three of my friend are due within the next 3 months and all but one are first babies. It’s very normal.

To add - all of us are 36.

an example of successful not educated. The two are not mutually exclusive

For goodness sake. I've worked on a maternity ward for over 25 yrs - you are not old. Don't be so silly

She is someone I have plucked who has had three kids before age to 33 and is successful

Feeling old is a state of mind anyway.

I also wanted to add. As the youngest of 3, my own mum was 35 when she had me. So she's 69 this year, and I'll be 34. She's still as active as she was. She helps out with all 5 grandchildren (mine is the one she does actual childcare for, and he's a toddler, so not easy!). She's not old and infirm yet! I've never felt like I had an old mum growing up at all either, and yet it was quite old in the 90s (but again, I was her third and last child).

Every year makes a huge difference in your thirties.

I was 35 when I had my second and I think it is known as a geriatric pregnancy at that age which makes me laugh! Congratulations and enjoy your pregnancy.

Honesty, you really need to get a grip. I don't even understand what this sentence means. You're in your 30s, you're still young, stop measuring yourself against people around you and enjoy your pregnancy.

I turned 35 two months before DD arrived.

I honestly don't feel old at all.

32 for my first 35 for my second, honestly in most of the baby groups I went to I was towards the younger end especially for 2nd babies.

I wouldn't dwell on it OP, the age range of my mum friends is 28 - 45 can't really tell who is what age we all just get on and have fun.

35 isn't old honestly, don't worry!

I had DS at 36 and never really thought about being old. He's 7 now and a lot of the kids mums in his class are a similar age ..

Do you think people who’ve had babies before 32 aren’t educated 😂

op I think it’s quite normal to be having your first baby at 35 these days. I know lots of people in the same situation, no one bats an eyelid.

Why are so many in their 30's feeling old? It is a bit weird.

I’m nearly 35 and not pregnant so I do get the constant age-calculations you describe cos I do that too- but as a pp said, what’s the alternative? I guess I could have had a baby by now but it would have been with a deeply unsuitable partner and I’d be dealing with the consequences of that now so really I didn’t have any other good options. It’s stressful when things don’t pan out the way you want but you have to make the best of what you’ve got.

Yes it feels we have to everything in our thirties which is just one decade of our lives… career/relationship/house/kids…

it’s too much!

I've recently had my first at 41, we're planning a second but I'll be nearer 43 by the time that happens. You're not old.

My mum was 39 when she had my sister and 41 when she had me! My cousin was 41 when she had her first one and is trying for the next at 43. My husbands stepmother was 43 when she had her final child, her oldest two are in there 20's.

That's just my immediate family! There are plenty of older mothers around, you aren't alone!

"Yes it feels we have to everything in our thirties which is just one decade of our lives… career/relationship/house/kids…"

I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself to do everything in your thirties.
I lived abroad in my 30s, came home and bought a house at 42 and had twins at 47. My career skyrocketed in my 40s too.

You've plenty of time to achieve your goals. My mum was a first-time mum at 36 (in the 60s) and had her last at 44. My friend just gave birth to her second at 46. Mid-30s is a perfectly normal age to be having your second kid.

I think it’s a mindset thing. I had children at 34 and 37 and don’t feel old or think I’m an ‘older mum’ or whatever. It isn’t on my radar. Men are certainly never considered old in their 30s and I’m not about to start thinking of myself that way either!

Holly bloody Willoughby is your example of an educated mum? That's a low bar.

I had my first at 35 and second at 38 and was not one of the older ones around.

Life doesn't end at post 40 you know. You'll look back at this utter tripe you're spouting with embarrassment (I hope) when you're older. FGS get a grip.

35 is not old at all! I was that age when I had my DS and there were several mums at his school who were a good few years older than me. My mum had me at nearly 47!

Well, most people I know don't even find a partner to settle before 30-33, so 35 for that timeline is "about right".