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Do you do things/activities as a family all together?

468 replies

staryeyed · 21/03/2008 22:02

If so what do you do and how old are your children?

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Othersideofthechannel · 23/03/2008 17:41

Anna I agree which is why I have such a hard time with forcing DS to join in but then again little ones can't stay home alone so like it or not they have to come along sometimes.

myermay · 23/03/2008 17:56

Message withdrawn

seeker · 23/03/2008 18:01

But do you also allow a 5 year old dictate what the rest of the family does, Anna? That's the flip side of what you said!

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motherinferior · 23/03/2008 18:04

I don't like 'family'. As a concept. And frequently not in practice. My experience of nuclear/extended family as a child was not madly enjoyable and I've remained deeply dubious about it all.

I do enjoy, however, spending some time in common with all my fellow inmates of the Inferiority Complex. Not everything, oh god, no, though. I actually found myself saying to DP today that I'd enjoyed the past couple of days all together and that I was looking forward to our forthcoming holiday in Wales, a lot...but I also know that my Friday, spent mainly away from them all (and catching up with a beloved friend I'd not seen for about five years) was an important element in that enjoyment.

ScienceTeacher · 23/03/2008 18:06

I don't think Anna said that everyone gets their first choice preference every time.

motherinferior · 23/03/2008 18:09

In fact I think it's incredibly important to get away from them all - including one's co-parent - in order to retain sanity. But that is clearly a minority opinion.

marmadukescarlet · 23/03/2008 18:32

We do lots of things walking, feeding the ducks, zoo, wildlife centre, we are yearly members at local attractions (in Museum of Kent life, Leeds Castle and Bedgebury), we also have ponies so everyone gets involved in grooming/mucking out.

DD is 8 and DS is 3.5, DS has sn inc mobility problems so activities have to be tailored.

Having said that I also make sure that DD gets some 1 to 1 time with both DH and I during weekends (or just DP if he is only in the country for a few days).

Today DD and I went on a course to learn about chicken keeping, Friday we all went to the shops to get her a smart dress for a wedding in Florida next week. Yesterday am I did baking with DS, pm DD and I went to buy shoes to go with dress. Tomorrow we are going to Granny's.

foofi · 23/03/2008 18:33

We almost never do anything together as there is almost never a day when we are all totally free! However, we did manage it today - went up to London and visited the museums. Glad we made the effort.

motherinferior · 23/03/2008 18:44

So can I ask: do none of you reach the point of wanting to run away screaming from it all? Ever?

pedilia · 23/03/2008 18:46

we do most things together DC's are 7,3 and 1.

mollymawk · 23/03/2008 19:19

My DSs are 4 and 2 so I think I haven't had them long enough to want to run away screaming yet (in answer to your qu, motherinferior!). But DC3 is due to arrive in May so I expect I will soon after that...

Anyway this weekend we have been on holiday at MIL's so have done lots of "activities" all together - visiting a friend, going to Railway Museum (yawn yawn but the DSs love it), making a snowman, and this aftenoon we all watched The Wizard of Oz. Luckily I had the DSs there to stop me getting too scared of the flying monkeys.

seeker · 23/03/2008 21:31

Oh God, yes! (the running and screaming bit) But actually, what with school and after school activities and work and homework, our "family" time is pretty limited. So I tent to treasure it. Even if it's something so boring I want to gnaw my own leg off, I usually find that once I get over my sulks and strops I really enjoy it........

I understood Anna to say that Cory and I were being disrespectful of our children to dragoon them into doing stuff they don't want to. I really don't think I am damaging my children's psyches to say "Ok, we're all going for a walk on the beach - waiving all excuses"! I know that even if they moan, they will enjoy it, and even if by some chance, somebody doesn't, whoever it is will have still had the exercise, and will not have imposed their wishes ove the majority. As I said earlier, though, it's important that activities are chosen carefully to ensure that everybody gets a chance to do their favourite things.

chelsygirl · 24/03/2008 09:34

agree sometimes you need to force them but they usually enjoy it!

Elkat · 24/03/2008 18:36

I think family time is important, as it was a central part of my childhood. Dh has to be forced, but then it wasn't a major part of his childhood. But I agree that it is the glue that keeps the family together.

In the winter, we don't tend to do much in the way of going out, but in the summer I do like to go to the local country parks and walk round the lakes, feed the ducks etc... We also usually get an annual pass for somewhere like Longleat or Legoland and will visit that several times.

But then I also have times with just me and my girls. Often, I will take my girls out to the cinema on a saturday morning, or if the weather is nice to the swings. DH is less inclined to do such a thing. We also have girlie days, when I go out with my daughters (I have only got daughters) and my mum and that's nice too. We'll go shopping and then soft play or something.

When I was a child, we would have regular board games evenings, and we still get together and do this now, as adults (but usually a curry is involved too!). My family are exceptionally close, but Dh is not close to his at all - he says that they just haven't got anything in common. So it something I do enforce on my poor dh!

Fillyjonk · 24/03/2008 18:41

generally yes we do

right now, we don't have a car that we can all fit in (new baby) so beyond the park/coffee shop-no we don't do much all together outside the house

but as a rule, we do a lot, yes

Fillyjonk · 24/03/2008 18:42

I also think making executve decisions is a necessary effect of having multiple pre-teen kids...

popsycal · 24/03/2008 19:23

Motherinferior - I am looking forward to work tomorrow. Had a lovely long weekend with the boys and DH but ready for some time with 34 other children

popsycal · 24/03/2008 19:24

AT weekends, we spend most of our time together but dh and i always have some time on our own (alone not together) for an hour or so which we appreciate.

Quadrophenia · 24/03/2008 19:27

we do most stuff together, have four children aged between 4 and almost 8.
We belong to a vw club and regualrly go to meets, camping trips and shows with our club. We also support Northampton Town football Club and take our children to home and away matches.
Um..walks, picnics, park, cinema, swimming, shopping and the usual humdrum stuff really.

Anna8888 · 24/03/2008 20:44

seeker - why would that be the flip side? No-one dictates anything to anyone - that's the whole point. We are not living in a dictatorship in this household and I do not think that authoritarian parenting makes for children with good thinking skills.

seeker · 24/03/2008 21:47

OK Anna. Mother, father and dd 12 want to go for a walk and fly kites on the beach. Ds 7 wants to stay home and read/play on his ds/do nothing/draw pictures.

What do you do? I would say - well right now we are going to the beach and you are coming too. Next Saturday we will do what you want to do.

Or.....what? You can't always please all of the people all of the time!

Janni · 24/03/2008 22:36

It is also sometimes a good idea to cajole a child into joining in an activity, because they don't always have the mental agility to imagine moving from what they're currently engaged in.

Respect for everyone's wishes is fine up to a point, but small children do sometimes have to be told what to do

Othersideofthechannel · 25/03/2008 05:44

Yes, especially in the winter.

The number of times we have asked DCs if they want to go for a walk or do inside activity and they have opted for inside activity only to turn round when the sun is setting and ask if they can go out on their bikes!

Fillyjonk · 25/03/2008 07:51

I have to say, if I ask my kids what they want to do, giving them two options, they will ALWAYS choose different options. ALWAYS.

We tend to expect them to come up with a solution that they are both happy with if this happens, they are actually quite good at doing this-needed lots of input at first but its paid off.

FairyMum · 25/03/2008 08:00

I believe in "forced family fun" otherwise my children would never get out of their pj's.