Do you do things/activities as a family all together?

[staryeyed]

If so what do you do and how old are your children?

I find that if the dh is unwilling to do family outings there are 2 things you can do: force him to come by nagging or just go and get on with it without him.
My dh and my BIL are the same, if nagged at they will come - say on a country walk but hands in pockets, walk as quickly as possible and pray for rain just so they can get back to the important golf/cricket/match on TV (that's BIL) and dh also rushes the trip so he can get back to his desk.

When I go with just the dc we take our time, no one tells us time to go home or complains and spoils it.

Varies a lot but usually on Sundays - park/lunch/country/shops. Dh and I both have work at weekends (me most of all) so there is a lot trading off too.

Message withdrawn

Bohoo, dh and the children are off at Grandma's having lots of quality time and Easter egg hunts and I couldn't come because I've got the flu .

But otherwise, yes we do do things together. Eat supper together every night, do outings together, trips to the forest, museums, swimming, whatever.

Though I am afraid it's going to be more difficult, as dd's medical condition means very careful pacing/no overstraining, so poor ds misses out on a lot of activities unless we split up. Atm we seem to be spending lots of time hanging around indoors because we want to be together, but it's not really right for a very active 7yo boy.

We sometimes have to split and sometimes dh might not be about (he is a musician - it is is hobby but they are very popular!) but usually we spend most of a weekend together - dc's are 6,5,2 anf 7mo. We are both going back to uni to do PGCE's soon so this will mean we will also have more holiday times together.
This thread is great as the things we do areall quite noirmal but i assume evryone else is doing wildly exciting things all weekend!

Yesterday we visited a beautiful local garden where everyone got muddy and had a great time, then in the afternoon went to playpark together before eatng supper together. Today we are doing a film and popcorn afternoon (Labyrinth - yay!), and picnic lunch in the living room.
Other things we do together are long walks (a lot), coffee and cake in town, trips to the shops, out for a pzza/sushi lunch, trips to the beach, sometimes a trip to local bootsale with pocket money, see animals at the lcal farm.
Loads of simple inexpensive stuff as there are loads of us so the pennies soon add up.
Trips to the zoo etc happen a little less often. We seperate too to do things like swimming or trips to the theatre /cinema/ football.
Gosh wedo quite a lot! and theres me on aT dh that we dont do anything

Yes, every weekendis family-time because we don't spend time as a complete family during the week at all. Mostly go to parks, museums, cafes or outings to meet up with friends and their children down the coast or for country-walks. Also go away as a family about once every month just for the weekend, mostly to the country-side. Having said that, today I am all alone feeling very ill so lovely with no family around

We do things together all the time.
DS1 is 14, DS2 is 11 ( with SN) and DD is 5.

We go to Brighton beach, horse racing, bowling, walking the dog ( and then the pub), days out at the zoo, at London aquarium etc etc.
All the kids enjoy all of them.

I'm not worried about your family Cat64, in fact I didn't read your post earlier as was not using my computer but something else and couldn't read all the thread in the time. The thread title gave me the impression that there were people who didn't do things as a family together and my post was in reference to that.

Don't think there is anything wrong in the slightest in people going off and doing their own thing, my children do and DH is currently on a flight back from Spain. And as the children get older I would anticipate that they will spend more time doing other things. What I meant is that in my opinion (and it is just that) spending time together as a family and having fun is really important. If this didn't ever happen in a family (or very rarely happened) then I stand by the fact I would worry about the family dynamic as I think an essential part of family life would be missing. And quite obviously I am referring to families where both parents live together or are at least on pretty good terms.

but cat, who has your kids while you and your dh are off doing things for yourselves at the weekends or evenings?

I just feel its ok to say " I - we are not reliant on the family unit to do enjoyable things at evenings and weekends" if you've got help with your kids which probably a lot of us don't, hence we tend to do everything together

not looking for a fight, just genuinely wondering

We are a close family who get on pretty well, but as I do the SAHM thing during the week (kids are 11, 8 and 3), come the weekend I've seen plenty of them and DH tends to take them out so I can recharge my batteries.

Or, because of the age differences, one parent will take one or two children to an activity and the other will look after the other child.
We're quite flexible like this - it depends on who feels like doing what.

Can I just say what ever you do be it a theme park or a wander round the local park, do something together regularly, we didn't and I found it heartbreaking to realise we have spent more time on family outings together since exH left and he comes to take the kids out, they like me to come to and it hit me when we were out bowling that we had never done that with the kids when we were together. Its stuff like this that we overlook and never have time for, so I hope thos of you with partners can manage to fit in some family activities on a regular basis, it really matters.

Sorry makes me to realise this.

Yes, DCs are 5 and 3 and it DH prefers to go out and about with the DCs (swimming, beach, country walks) to spending time playing imaginary school/shop at home with them. So we always make sure we have at least one activity planned for a weekend.
Someone mentioned earlier that teenager don't always want to join in. Fair enough. But what about when 5 yr olds don't want to come? DS rarely wants to come for a walk with us but as he is too young to stay home alone and the rest of us want to go, we sometimes have to force him into the car and he sulks for the first 15 minutes of the walk. Of course he ends up having a great time but it does feel uncomfortable forcing him to do something which is supposed to be fun.

DSS1 is nearly 13, DSS2 is 10 and DD is 3.4.

Yes, we do absolutely masses of things all together. And we also do things in twos and threes and fours. Different configurations are very important, too, as it gives different family members more space.

We do things seperately too - for example on Friday nights, dp goes to Scouts with dd, and I have an evening alone with ds. He ALWAYS regresses into a very little boy again and we do things like watch "In the Night Garden" together, or read his picture books, which he feels too grown up at 7 to do when his big sister's around! I love it - he goes all cuddly. The he goes to bed quite early with extra stories, and dd and dp come in late and the three of us sit round and have "grown up chat" - dd has hot chocolate and dp and I have a glass of wine.

We also have a new tradition that has started since dd started secondary school. Every holiday, ds goes to a friend and dp, dd and I go out to lunch and talk about school and how dd's getting on.

thanks for answering cat64, all makes sense now! your family sounds a lot like ours actually, what I meant was due to lack of family to help out at weekends we usually all do things together unless there are other separate plans going on, in which case we split up for a few hours!

My girls are 16, 13 and 8 and we do everything together.

We love swimming, outdoor activities, sharing meals, reading and traveling.

In response to Otherside's post, I wouldn't feel guilty about forcing a 5 year old. I grew up with 3 brothers and my parents took us out a lot, for walks in the wood, sailing and (when we could afford it) on foreign holidays. There was always one of us grumbling at the start of the day (little brother hated museums, I resented blueberry-picking), but we always cheered up after the first half hour. And now that we are grownup, we have so many memories in common. Especially as we've grown into really different people, it helps so much to have all this common ground. Don't feel guilty- he'll thank you one day.

I don't think 5 year olds should have a choice about things like this - as I say to mine - when this family is declared a democracy I'll let you know! I do think that sometimes the activity chosen should be specifically targetted at one member of the family though. What does your 5 year old want to do?

Thanks. Actually, even if the family were a democracy, he would still have to come with us because the majority want to go on the walk.
He likes all the other family outings - park, library, soft play, swimming pool, beach (and I am sure he will like cinema only there hasn't been an occasion to take them to a suitable film since we decided DD could handle 90 minutes sitting still and quiet). But he can easily get through a day without feeling an urge to go out because he spends a lot of time drawing and building things.
What bothers me is that it is more than grumbling. It is the fact that when it comes to shoes and coats time he will go and hide under a bed. DH will have to drag him out, carry him to the car, force him into seat and we take the shoes with us to be put on when we get to the place where we are going walking. Hopefully with a bit more maturity we won't have to go to these extremes and a bit of reasoning will suffice.

I like giving children (in fact all family members) the choice whether or not to join in activities. I think everyone's preferences should be respected, as far as possible. If you don't respect your children, how will they learn proper respect for others? If you don't give them reasoned choices, how will they learn to make up their minds rationally?

With our large family, I actually put more importance of having one-on-one time with them. We eat together as our main whole family activity, but I take every opportunity of doing a special thing with one or two children at a time. It doesn't have to be grand - it can be as simple as picking one of them up from school instead of them taking the bus.