5yr old asking HOW Daddy puts the seed in Mummy's Tummy

[CremeDeSudo]

What do I tell her?! DD is 5.5, very bright and switched on and has recently being very interested in pregnancy and having babies. We've told her the generic 'Daddy puts a seed called sperm in Mummy's tummy where there's an egg which join together and grow into a baby' and she knows you go to the hospital and the Dr gets the baby. I don't think she knows where it comes out yet! But recently she's been asking how the seed gets in the tummy and I don't know how to answer! Any tips? We didn't have the proper birds and bees talk with DS until he was 9 and 5 feels awfully young for the details! Help!

Seriously I can't understand all this weird 'special hug' talk.

Daddy has his seed which is called sperm inside his body. He uses his penis like a hose and puts in inside mummy's vagina. (Dc can see men and women are different).

If your dc asks more just say it's when Mummy and daddy kiss and cuddle and have special private time. That's honest. It's open without going into graphic details about reverse cowgirl or legs over shoulders.

👆

"I can’t believe the number of people advocating the “daddy puts a seed in mummy” rubbish".

Just to clarify, I also told ds that Mummy has eggs inside her and one seed joins together with one egg and grows into a baby, so all of us are half of each parent.

Is that better?

If they ask, I'd say it becomes necessary because the alternative is lying or babbling about ''special cuddles'' which is what I'd consider to be not necessary.

Well I remember my mum and dad telling me that 'mummy and daddy lie very close together and it happens that way' but then I remember thinking that if I got too close to boys at school that I might have a baby!

So I personally reckon you'd be better with a sort of 'it's something special that grown ups can do and when you're a bit older we'll talk about it'.

Of course it's necessary your child has asked you a question. What are your other options?
Lie or make up some rubbish?
If you can't be honest with your children how will you ever expect them to be honest with you?
Would you rather she find out from someone else like many one of her friends from school.
I'm not being judgemental at all I'm just wondering what your train thought is and who benefits by not telling her?

SouthLondonMum22
There’s easier answers than that though, there’s two extremes on this thread- special cuddles or daddy puts his penis in mammy’s vagina. You can leave it at mammy and daddy wanted to make a baby and they were lucky enough to have you or whatever suits your situation, and with kids of course sometimes you change the subject. If kids knew everything adults knew it would melt their little heads, they need some protection sometimes (again just my opinion and I amn’t a professional or anything, that’s just the way I do it)

Telling the truth isn't extreme.

That isn't answering the child's question, that's avoiding it. Children don't need protecting from basic biology, I'd say that informing them of the facts is actually more likely to protect them.

Seriously?!?

Always tell the truth in a age-appropriate way

If someone had given you the basic truth without any shame or embarassment when you were a young child, you wouldn't feel such anxiety and discomfort about biology now.

But… that is what happens? I don’t get the hand wringing around basic facts, especially if the child has actually asked what happens.

TheNanny24
How do you know how much shame I have around that?! Talk about jumping to conclusions! I’m not saying anyone’s wrong, just saying I don’t think a child that young needs to know what some people think they need to know! We give our kids talks from 11 on and it’s worked for us. They have known the words penis and vagina longer, they just don’t know they’re used for anything other than peeing 😅😅😅

People forget that using matter of fact language is actually a safeguarding measure ….you do have to prepare your child for knowing if an adult or other child is doing something wrong to their body. So ,however you want to put it, a man and woman make a baby together ,the seed comes out of daddy’s penis ,he puts it in mummy’s vagina etc etc…but that this is something only grown ups who love each other should do . “Special cuddles “ is something that an abuser might say to normalise inappropriate behaviour.

By 11 they will know already and are probably pretending not to to avoid embarrassment. They will have done Sex Ed at primary school and their friends will have told them stuff that may or may not be accurate.

What's your worry though? What bad thing will happen if young children know how mammals reproduce?
(Your children definitely knew what a penis and vagina is for before 11 by the way! Hopefully better than you if you think a vagina is used for peeing )

Or in my little sister's case, when it came up again at 11, 'I know you told me that, but I didn't believe you!'

TheNanny24
😅😅😅

CaptainMyCaptain
Then we correct and chat to them age 11 or when it comes up around that time- to be honest more talk around here is football, screens etc😅

My children all asked around the same age. We were factual (more factual with the one who was very scientifically minded), answered questions in detail, used the correct terminology and they went away satisfied. They have occasionally asked for more details over the years and around puberty I gave them books to make sure everything was covered. It's incredibly important that they understand how their bodies work, the correct names etc.

Don't go with the coy 'special cuddle' stuff. This is how I was brought up and it was as real shock (and not a pleasant one) when I finally found out the truth. I felt I had been lied to.

Please don’t tell her the mummy goes to the hospital and the doctor get the baby! If she was born with the involvement of doctors then tell her that but also all the other ways and places babies can be born!

This is what I told my dd and she accepted it

At 9 years old had she not already been prepared for periods starting and all the sex conversations that happen around that?

By 11 they already know. I think it's important that children hear the information first from their parents and then you can also be sure that they are getting facts, not inaccuracies and false information from the playground.

I think every way you explain can lead to misunderstandings to be honest. I knew how animals mated, and family friends had a sheep farm so I knew about the harnesses rams wear to mark the sheep.

But when we covered human reproduction in biology when I was 11 I was very confused by the cross-section of missionary sex. Nobody had ever mentioned that humans do it front-to-front!

I was only three when my mum was pregnant with my sister. When I asked how it had happened she just told me the truth. It hasn’t done me any harm knowing about sex from a young age. I don’t see what good lying does.