5yr old asking HOW Daddy puts the seed in Mummy's Tummy

[CremeDeSudo]

What do I tell her?! DD is 5.5, very bright and switched on and has recently being very interested in pregnancy and having babies. We've told her the generic 'Daddy puts a seed called sperm in Mummy's tummy where there's an egg which join together and grow into a baby' and she knows you go to the hospital and the Dr gets the baby. I don't think she knows where it comes out yet! But recently she's been asking how the seed gets in the tummy and I don't know how to answer! Any tips? We didn't have the proper birds and bees talk with DS until he was 9 and 5 feels awfully young for the details! Help!

We bought this book that we read together to explain some of the questions we we're similarly getting asked.

I’m really surprised so many people are suggesting you lie.
I’m as surprised there’s people telling a five year old how they had sex😅 We all parent differently

Mummy and daddy had a special cuddle ???

Mummy Laid an Egg was very helpful for this age! It's a starting point and you can answer questions that come out of it.

Why are they too young? It's basic biology and nothing shameful

This!

For gods sake no one is suggesting you explain how to fuck, but using correct terminology and explaining in an age appropriate way is the best thing.

Dd has known since she was 5ish and did her first sex education lesson at school what penises and vulva/vaginas are for and how sperm gets from a man to a woman. She’s 7 now and it’s just a fact of life, nothing scary or taboo about it.

Bodies and sex isn’t something to be ashamed of or hidden, as long as you explain to a child appropriately.

I literally just said a man puts his penis in the woman's vagina and some seeds come out that meet the egg to make a baby. She stared at me for a second and never asked again 🤣

Heartened to see so many people advocating the truth. Good luck OP.

It’s funny how your own experience governs the questions they ask. Both mine were out by CS and DD’s always known about my scar from her so I told her most babies come out of a woman’s vagina instead. She found that odder than a doctor manually wrestling a baby from an incision.

After I had DS she played c section the teddies for months working it all out.

So pleased mins never asked, the school did the full anatomy lessons aged 9 but mine worked it out themselves from going to the zoo and nature programmes. Sometimes you don't need to be graphic with kids, instead you just expose them to the clues all around. Very few if any knew much before those lessons at school because they came out into the playground that day surprised and in awe, my dd was one if the few who had an inkling and piped up that they had seen the monkeys at the zoo at it!

Have you not explained what periods are for and why your daughter will have them?

What happens when her period starts? Is she going to be fine with it because mummy has explained it to her and it’s a normal part of growing up, or is she going to be scared and horrified to tell you because you’ve made it into some taboo thing she can only learn about in school?

I live in the country - animals were at it right left and centre so the concept was well known to them. I remember one of my GSs saying to his younger brother: "Its just mating."

Queijo
People are actually saying daddy puts his penis into mammy’s vagina!!! There’s a difference between pointing out to a five year old that they have a penis/ vagina as opposed to telling them that. In my opinion.

I was told (via a book) at the same age that when a man and woman love each other very much, they want to be as close as possible and there is a special cuddle that grown ups can do which can make a baby.

I really don't like this special cuddle nonsense. So confusing for a child and making cuddles into something they're not?! Just be honest

There is literally no reason not to tell her the plain truth.

The seeds come out of the daddy's willy/penis. The daddy puts his penis inside the mummy's vagina, which is the hole girls and women have at the front. It's called having sex. It's something that only grown ups do.

Later on the baby comes out of the vagina or the mummy can have an operation to bring it out of her tummy.

I explained this to my 5 year old son and he was fine. A short time afterward he explained he didn't want to put his willy in a hole ever and I said that was fine 😅

However you do or don't explain sex to your kids, they will develop sexually when they hit puberty. I think it's better not to shroud the topic in embarrassment and mystery!

I can’t believe the number of people advocating the “daddy puts a seed in mummy” rubbish.

It’s sexist nonsense making Daddy the important part of this scenario and Mummy basically a greenhouse. That sort of thinking worked for the Ancient Greeks well enough, but it’s pretty regressive to be telling children now.

“Mum has an egg, Dad has sperm, and together they combine to make you. It happens in Mummy’s womb, which is about here, and you grow in there for about 9 months.”

God OP wait u till she is older and realises people have sex for fun not just if they want to make a baby

I showed mine a diagram. I said mummy has a hole here and a tunnel that goes all the way up to her tummy.
I dont like the idea of "special hugs" or magic kisses because that just confuses them and can be problematic from a child safeguarding perspective.

Both are basic biology. It's nothing to be ashamed of or to keep secret from children, especially if they ask.

Much less confusing than ''special cuddles'' too.

Just tell her.

I agree. Very confusing.

Well how do you think babies are made then??? Because there’s only one way, and it’s involves a penis and a vagina. Unless of course you use IVF etc which is another conversation.

Teaching children the incorrect terms and using fluffy, stupid explanations is harmful to children. Get over your squeamishness and apparent shame of how humans work! It’s not scary.

IMHO, there's a few approaches you could take:

1. "How do you think it happens, darling?" And whatever she suggests, go along with that.
2. Be honest to the point you're comfortable in doing so. "Daddy uses his penis. That's all you need to know for now and I'll tell you more about it when you're older."
3. Be cloudy/vague with your answer and then change the subject. "The grown-ups give eachother a special hug.... Now who wants a snack?!"

Queijo
nothing to do with scary, just not necessary at 5!!!