5yr old asking HOW Daddy puts the seed in Mummy's Tummy

[CremeDeSudo]

What do I tell her?! DD is 5.5, very bright and switched on and has recently being very interested in pregnancy and having babies. We've told her the generic 'Daddy puts a seed called sperm in Mummy's tummy where there's an egg which join together and grow into a baby' and she knows you go to the hospital and the Dr gets the baby. I don't think she knows where it comes out yet! But recently she's been asking how the seed gets in the tummy and I don't know how to answer! Any tips? We didn't have the proper birds and bees talk with DS until he was 9 and 5 feels awfully young for the details! Help!

What language does she use? Use that. Willy/penis/vagina/whatever.

Don’t make it into a big deal (‘the talk’), answer only what is asked and answer honestly but age appropriate. Forget special hugs etc.

I told my son that all girls have a vagina and when girls grow into women their vagina becomes a special place where a daddy can put seeds inside which may grow into a baby.

He knows only grown ups can do this and children can’t and that anything in your pants is private no matter what your age.

hes also asked about periods so he’s aware of the basics too. This came about after he asked very loudly in Sainsbury where the blood came from (I was buying tampons) as he announced, but where from?? I can’t see you bleeding

I did the whole "when a man and a woman love each other and want to make a baby, they have a special cuddle" spiel when dd was very little.

Years later, she told me that she had sometimes worried that if she cuddled my dp, she might get pregnant.

I would have been a lot more explicit if I had known at the time.

Just tell her the facts? The penis goes in the vagina... I really don't like your explanation of birth either. The doctor doesn't 'get' the baby, nor does the baby have to be born in hospital.

@bobisbored - disagree, The earlier you give them direct answers the better. Babette Coles And Mummy Laid an Egg is a perfect book for this age group. It uses humour but also facts.

Tell her the facts - if she's asked she's old enough to know. Stress it's for adults, who choose to 'plant a seed' - explain mechanics using terms she understands, and explain that only sometimes the seed grows.

I agree. Tell the truth.

I agree, the 'special hug' can only lead to confusion and could possibly be quite dangerous - 'grandad gave me a special hug on my birthday' etc. I don't like the idea of euphemisms in this day and age.

Even my nine year old hasn't asked but I've always been of the view that if they are old enough to ask then they are old enough for the truth. Just tell it in a factual and age appropriate way.

I think if you tell her it's via Amazon driver, you may get some funny looks from her teachers... 😆

Just tell her the truth. Euphemisms will only confuse her. Tell her it's something only grown-ups can/should do (because only grown-ups can be mummies and daddies, right?), but in basic terms, be clear. It's only embarrassing if you make it so. Use the correct terms and emphasise (for now) that grown ups do this when they love each other and they want to have a baby. Once you have given her an explanation that makes sense, she'll lose interest and move on. I told my son when he was 4 because he asked. I promise it didn't traumatise him or make him run around telling everybody he knew. Children are naturally curious but they won't make a big deal out of unless you do.

The truth is the way to go here. Don't he embarrassed cause your child will pick up on it.

My children are that age and know the facts, with age appropriate language.

I told my oldest the basics using age appropriate language when they were 2 and wanted to know how their siblings got in my tummy. I have found that if you explain things when they ask it is much easier. A gentle drip feed over the years means they treat the information as just that, information, rather than get embarrassed or worried. There are books out there too that can be used as a starter.

Following this thread in preparation of my 4 yo asking.
I think just straight to the point is definitely the way to go though, she questioned me about periods a while age and I just told her the facts, it's just a normal thing so this probably isn't much different.

I remember my then 3 yr old asking about this and unbeknownst to me just assuming the seed was swallowed. He then asked loudly what the mans seed tastes like when you swallowed it , in front of all the other parents at nursery drop off!
I had gone with special cuddle but open to interpretation I guess .

Where Willy Went is a good book for this age.

Tell him the truth.

So true

Just tell her the penis goes in the vagina.

Just tell her that mummy has a special hole that leads to her womb and daddy puts the seed in there with his penis. . If she is too little she will promptly forget (as I did). Mummy laid an egg is good if you are uncomfortable and want some words to read.

Babette Cole's book, Mummy laid an Egg is really good. Read it first as it's quite a ride - in a very good way - and she can ask you questions. It might be an idea to read it twice with her: once straight through and the second time with Q and A.

Big hugs to anyone who had this conversation in inappropriate plzces.

Just tell him the truth

When I told DS he was very concerned and asked if you had to go to hospital for the doctors to help daddy put his penis there. I reassured him that we did it at home and didn't need help.

Just tell her - whyever would you not? My 3 children knew at that age and do not seem to be irreparably scarred. They are well-balanced adults now.

We had a Scandinavian cartoon book in the bookcase called Our New Baby - it sat alongside the Hungry Caterpillar etc. and was chosen as a bedtime book some nights - we just read it to them. It emphasised loving relationships and family as well as giving the no-holds-barred facts.

I hate all the twee euphemisms.

One good thing about telling them at this age is that they just absorb it along with all the other facts: sky is blue, grass is green, 2+2 is 4etc. Leaving it later means that you could get to an age when it might embarrass them or generate other emotions.

I was told at about 4.5 because my mum was pregnant and I kept asking. My mum said they bought a book and were just very matter of fact about it.

If it helps, I was never embarrassed in the sex ed classes etc because I already knew it all. Wasn't some big mystery. And it never felt like a thing I wanted to do before I was very ready to accept consequences, because I'd always known that's what might happen.