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Child escaped car seat…referral to social services

305 replies

A2010 · 30/12/2023 16:48

My 2 year old daughter absolutely hates sitting in her car seat and escapes literally every 30 seconds.

My husband took her out today when she escaped her car seat and climbed in to the passenger seat. He should have stopped but he told me because he was nearly there he didn’t. Which has absolutely infuriated me😭

Anyway, someone has obviously reported all this and the police pulled him over. He’s not been fined or anything like that, they just gave him a lecture but also said it was being logged with social services??

Does anyone know what will happen next, I’m absolutely beside myself.

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SteadyEddi · 30/12/2023 19:59

it would be serious if she was in an accident. Could go through the windscreen. Good you’ve bought something to ensure safety

Jk987 · 30/12/2023 19:59

How does he escape? Is it a 5 point harness or a seatbelt+ booster seat? There'll be a more tamper proof product out there somewhere.

Spaceracers · 30/12/2023 20:00

This thread has made me think about drivers and kids unrestrained - do you report to 101? Do they actually care?

I remember wearing a seat belt being drilled into me as a child (I think the law had changed recently) and I never get in to a car without wearing a seat belt - and equally would never go anywhere with a child not in a car seat. But I do think it's a cultural thing as I see loads of people where we live not wearing belts etc.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

AreYouThereDog · 30/12/2023 20:06

Spaceracers · 30/12/2023 20:00

This thread has made me think about drivers and kids unrestrained - do you report to 101? Do they actually care?

I remember wearing a seat belt being drilled into me as a child (I think the law had changed recently) and I never get in to a car without wearing a seat belt - and equally would never go anywhere with a child not in a car seat. But I do think it's a cultural thing as I see loads of people where we live not wearing belts etc.

I’d report to 999 as there’s an immediate threat to life. A driver distracted by a toddler climbing into the front seat is much more likely to cause a crash than most road users.

Reugny · 30/12/2023 20:07

Spaceracers · 30/12/2023 20:00

This thread has made me think about drivers and kids unrestrained - do you report to 101? Do they actually care?

I remember wearing a seat belt being drilled into me as a child (I think the law had changed recently) and I never get in to a car without wearing a seat belt - and equally would never go anywhere with a child not in a car seat. But I do think it's a cultural thing as I see loads of people where we live not wearing belts etc.

Those seat belt alarms are annoying. How do they put up with them for more than 5 seconds?

Oppositioblue · 30/12/2023 20:09

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 30/12/2023 17:08

It's being logged with SS. If they have bi other reasons to believe your child is a risk, I suspect the most you'll get is a letter or phone call .

I do sympathise though. DD was an escaper.One of these helped.

Just had a giggle, clicked on your link to see what you suggested and a pop up said 2379 people were currently viewing the item!

MsJinks · 30/12/2023 20:11

I wouldn’t worry about this one off incident - your husband at least will think twice if it happens again. Social care should just check you are aware of risk and have appropriate stuff for your child - if they have time to check dependant on postcode probably!
The police have to refer any incident involving children - one I came across was a child running off out of a garden gate and straight into the path of a Bobby, though dad was just begind, but there is a duty. One main reason for such apparently minor referrals being logged is that it could flag a pattern - so several ‘small’ sounding things may show a bigger picture of parental struggles perhaps. The range of referrals from agencies may also be relevant. Essentially it is to try and not let a child at risk get overlooked due to agencies not linking up effectively. So don’t worry and be glad safeguards are in place generally for children.

BlueMongoose · 30/12/2023 20:13

I'm glad you're going for an option that absolutely prevents the child escaping- if she did this on a motorway in busy traffic you wouldn't be able to pull over and put her back in very quickly- and in the interim, the worst could happen.
(Edit- I'm actually surprised that they even make seats that a child could get out of.....)

Greencabbages3 · 30/12/2023 20:15

Hello I feel your pain my youngest undid his car seat and opened the opposite car door while we were traveling along. Scary was an understatement.
I swapped completely from a 5 point harness then to this type.
www.naturalbabyshower.co.uk/products/cybex-pallas-s-fix-car-seat-autumn-gold-1?variant=30315208769614&currency=GBP&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=20412202688_BT%20-%20Performance%20Max%20-%20Car%20Seats&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAnL-sBhBnEiwAJRGighZggLgUdS-QkDCtmglTUxYabL6IU2R2hP93AHLrSYyX62qteZ8eTBoCes8QAvD_BwE

BlueMongoose · 30/12/2023 20:17

WiddlinDiddlin · 30/12/2023 18:25

For those saying 'oh paramedics/fire brigade etc won't be able to get a kid out of a carseat with extra devices attached'... they can, they do, they carry cutters precisely for cutting people including kids out of trapped belts. Good idea to have one in your car yourself though.

I think the risk of being trapped in a seat is the better one, compared to the risk of an accident caused by a kid climbing around distracting the driver.

When my sister went through that phase, she simply did not travel in the car unless there was a second adult to wrangle her, which was a pain in the arse I am sure, but apparently better than an RTA. (This was pre the days of modern car seats!)

We keep a cutter like that in our car, between the front seats so it's easy to reach. It's also a hammer to break glass if needs be.
I wonder why kids seats don't have straps that clip around and into the back of the seat, so a child can't reach them?

snackatack · 30/12/2023 20:23

Get a car seat with a booster bar - so it goes across the tummy - they are far less likely to want to escape from it - or achieve escaping

Aydel · 30/12/2023 20:24

I had an escaper. Nothing would keep her in place. We finally swapped her seat for a booster seat with a clip that held the seat belt in the right position. She was happy to sit in this as it felt grown up to her. She was 2 at the time but the height of a 5 year old.

Dopaminefuelled · 30/12/2023 20:25

Join this car seat safety Facebook group.

If you post a picture of your daughter in the seat they will do a fit check for you and advise on harness adjustments to make it safer.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/carseatsafetyuk/?ref=share

Ohnotyoutoo · 30/12/2023 20:38

I don't understand why car seat harnesses have a one-push button to get the kids out. My 3yo gets out all the time. Yes, a Houdini strap or similar may help keep her in the seat but she still unbuckles the harness in about 2 seconds of trying - therefore safety is compromised.

I stayed in the US last Christmas and their seats have a wonderful toddler proof two-step button. Impossible to get out of.

When my toddler escapes I'd rather concentrate on driving to a safe place than trying to get her back in and drive at the same time. One swerve and it could be all over.

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 20:39

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 30/12/2023 19:47

When I was a child, drivers and front passengers were routinely killed during collisions when the unrestrained rear passengers were thrown over the headrest-less front seat, breaking the front passenger and driver's necks. And the rear passengers then suffered fatal head and neck injuries on contact with the windscreen. Mandatory rear seat belts and front headrests eliminated those preventable deaths in cases where the rear passengers were adults but didn't stop a small child from becoming a fatal projectile or being killed.

Mandatory child seats now eliminate the hazards caused by having a small child loose or inadequately restrained in the car. No more does a small child break his parent's neck as he flies over the top of the driver's seat. No more does a small child collide with the windscreen at 70mph. As a PP said, an unrestrained small child can also cover the driver's eyes and cause a collision.

It's not worth taking the risk of any of these completely preventable outcomes just because the parent can't be bothered to stop and re-restrain the child.

I remember those info films with the elephants crashing forwards Shock

GirlOfTudor · 30/12/2023 20:39

coolkatt · 30/12/2023 17:17

your not fitting your child properly in her seat. you don't need a lecture on what could happen at any second.
you absolutely should be binning those car seats and getting a proper fitted one your child will not escape from. if she can open the latch get a padlock. if she can escape the harness it's not tight enough. coats should be off and all fitted snugly. go to a reputable seller, put her in every single seat possible. don't buy just for names or brands. get the one that does its job. good luck.

I second all of this! The straps should be pulled so tight that you can only fit a finger under it. Unless your child is pushing the button to undo the straps, it's because the straps are not tight enough.
Your husband is incredibly irresponsible letting your child sit without the straps, even on a short journey from home. Statistics show that most accidents happen within a mile of your home.
There's definitely more to this story than your husband (or you) are letting on. It doesn't seem logical that someone saw your child unstrapped in supposed short journey, called the police and they immediately tracked him down and stopped him. If this was the only reason they stopped him, he must have been reported way before his journey and his reg plate alerted the automatic number plate recognition and they found him. Alternatively, they stopped him for something else - speeding, a dead light bulb, etc and they found this too.
Whilst I doubt social services will take serious action, it is irresponsible to not to fix the issue after a couple of times of it happening. That would worry social services.

jannier · 30/12/2023 20:43

Reread your seat manual often it's a combination of incorrect buckle height and not being tight enough....no coats as they compress allowing wriggle room. Rear facing belt is just below shoulders forward it is just above.

BethRa · 30/12/2023 20:44

Does anyone have the Panorama XTi by Babylo 2-in-1 Travel System with Car Seat and would recommend it to someone else? Looking at best travel systems under £400

jannier · 30/12/2023 20:45

If it was just around the corner he would have been home before the police turned up....unless he drove past them and they saw it.

Soontobe60 · 30/12/2023 20:52

369damnshesfine · 30/12/2023 18:10

I hope this gives DH a wake up call.

Its one thing to get out of the car seat but to climb into the passenger seat is extremely dangerous.

I would have stopped immediately to teach the child that they cannot get away with that.

Hopefully SS being involved will actually be a positive thing and have prevented a death or serious injury.

Its nothing to worry about.
They may not even contact you at all.

To get to my house from my grandchildren’s house I have to go down a dual carriageway that does not have a hard shoulder all the way along. If one of the DGC got out of their seat it may well be a couple of minutes before I could safely stop. Similarly if you’re on a motorway in roadworks. There are lots of examples of not being able to stop immediately.

NotSorryForTheReality · 30/12/2023 20:54

Aw I feel your pain (and I’m sure I will get hung drawn and quartered for this) but if she is unclasping herself to escape the only thing I found that worked was putting duck tape over the clasp button at the start of every trip - yes it’s a pain and defo not ideal but it was the only way to get anywhere without pulling over literally every 3 minutes, it did cause tantrums but it was the only way to save my sanity and get to tesco xx

BertieBotts · 30/12/2023 21:02

Argh sorry but so many myths flying around on this thread. I will try not to get sucked in but just to correct a few of them.

  1. 5 point harness car seats ARE escapable even if they are fitted correctly. Children can suck in their tummy and this creates a gap that they can use to get their arms through. This is the case in all 5 point harness seats. You may find a disclaimer in your manual about it. It is easier for them to escape if the straps are too loose or set at the wrong position, but it is always possible to escape. Not all children realise they can do this. Escaping does not mean the seat is wrongly fitted. (But, yes, you should check whether it is!)
  2. Chest clips are not actually illegal. Under the old car seat regulation R44 it was true that the car seat had to be opened in one motion. However most car seats for sale today conform to R129 which does allow the use of an extra chest clip. I think three or four seats have one that I know of. Most do not. It's not illegal to add a third party product to your car seat, though most manufacturers won't recommend doing this.
  3. Add on products for preventing escape aren't necessarily unsafe. Some caution should be taken - the biggest no-no is if you're using a third party product to mask a poor harness fit, as a poor harness fit is dangerous. IF your child is escaping due to a poorly fitted harness (again, the harness does not need to be fitted poorly for escape to be possible, but it IS a common cause) then fix the harness first. If the product isn't masking a poor fit and it's not changing the way the harness moves, then it's not necessarily unsafe. Properly restrained is better than them being unrestrained or restrained only at the hips - this is very dangerous especially if forward facing. I do agree that extreme measures such as padlocks and tape (and a buttoned up shirt) are a problem in terms of removing the child quickly from the seat in emergency and this should be considered.
  4. Nothing like this is going to "invalidate insurance" that is not a thing.
  5. Cars were not safer years ago when car seats weren't required. Many more children died in car accidents. Children dying in car accidents today is very rare, because most people use car seats and modern car seats largely work very well and are less easy to use incorrectly. Most children who die in car accidents today are either in catastrophic crashes with adult fatalities or they are unrestrained. Car seats are not required today because of some kind of nanny state or because driving today is somehow wildly more dangerous (it's a lot safer) it's because things generally improve and get better over time and that includes safety standards.

General tips:

Car seat harness straps move up and down to accommodate child growth. You should ensure they are at the correct height. Your car seat's manual overrides random internet lady, but in general: Correct harness fitting is that the shoulder straps are roughly level with the height of the child's shoulders, if they move with a headrest, move the headrest so the child's head is within it and shoulders are just below. If child is between two settings, choose the lower for rear facing or higher for forward facing. Straighten out any twists in the straps. They can prevent the harness tightening properly, cause wear on the straps and cause pressure points in an accident.

Shoulder straps must be close to the neck. If the straps are tightening around the arms or shoulder tips in a V shape, the straps are probably set too low. If you have pads on your straps and they are curving up and over the shoulder, the straps are too low. They should start on top of the shoulder and curve down their chest (like a lower case r).

If child is too tall for their shoulders to fit under the top strap position, the seat is too small. Try Joie Bold for forward facing or Axkid Move for rear facing. (Unlikely at 2 but possible at 3 or 4)

Avoid bulky winter clothing in the car, it makes the straps too loose. Correct tightness is that they should be snug to the body with enough space to fit one finger between at the collarbone. Too tight can be uncomfortable. Most people make them too loose and can tighten further, but if you've followed this advice and overcorrected, you can relax it a little bit!

If you're going to add a product to the seat, the safest option is one that's branded to your seat. Besafe and Cybex sell clips which are crash tested with their seats and that they approve. They are however expensive. If your seat is another brand, 5pointplus (which is the link the OP originally said she had ordered) is good, this is a fabric cover that blocks the gap they can reach by sucking in their tummy. It doesn't affect the single release, crash testing on it is also good. Some Cosatto seats have this built in, but you don't need a Cosatto seat to use it, you can use it on any brand seat. For chest clips, the best is considered to be Besafe Belt Collector. People on car seat groups are very anti any other type of clip - they are probably not that bad in reality. But if you are buying one it makes sense to go for Besafe Belt Collector, because it's made by one of the manufacturers that is right at the front of safety innovation and research, rather than some random seller on amazon. There is a theoretical risk that a hard plastic clip could injure the breastbone or place strain on the harness whereas the Besafe clip is flexible plastic similar to American chest clips and is designed to fail safely in an accident.

Safest type of car seat is rear facing.
Second safest is good quality, highly rated forward facing, 5 point harness seat being used 100% perfectly according to instructions.
Third safest probably forward facing impact shield.
Fourth likely forward facing seat with minor misuse and/or of a more basic style.
Unrestrained/improperly restrained/major misuse is very unsafe and not legal.

So, if you can get your RF or good quality FF seat used properly with the use of a third party anti escape product then it is worth doing. If this is not possible, then an impact shield seat is a MUCH better option than an unrestrained or partially restrained child and may even be safer than a more basic FF seat.

itsgettingweird · 30/12/2023 21:09

Being gentle you need the referral.

You have a child who regularly escapes her seat and you've done nothing to stop that. As in you haven't got anything safer.

This has been a wake up call for you. SS will want reassurances you are going to act to stop it happening and not react when it does.

Take the time before the call to out something in place and tell them. They'll be happy to close the case when they have such heavy workloads. But they can't ignore a family who know their child is at risk and haven't prevented that.

clareykb · 30/12/2023 21:11

Hi I'm a social worker. Where I work this would be triaged and probably wouldn't go further than a phone call from probably Early help rather than ss. Depending on what the police referral actually said might mean a phone call or visit to talk about safety but that's it unless more going on. Try not to worry

A2010 · 30/12/2023 21:19

Has anyone got any suggestions for car seats that stop escapees?

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