Screen time for baby

[ivyrayne]

Hey everyone! I am currently six months pregnant with my first baby, and I am looking into how myself and my partner will be raising our daughter. We’ve agreed on no screen time until at least 2 years old, as research shows that it is bad for her development. However, I realised recently that this isn’t a popular method in parents my age (I’m 22 and my partner is 24). My friend for example, has her tv on all day at her house, and both her toddler, and her newborn watch it at all hours. I’m concerned about visiting anyone’s house, as I don’t want my little one having screentime at all, and I’d feel rude asking someone to switch of their tv for me. How do people navigate this? I’m happy for her to have limited screentime after the age of 2, but until then I really want to avoid it. How do I do this when visiting houses/doing university work on my laptop (I am currently doing a degree so I work on my laptop a lot). Thanks!

Honestly, it's pretty impossible. Will you not want to watch TV? I binged on box sets in the early days of having a newborn especially when I was awake most of the night. I get the intention and obviously it's not good for anyone to have endless screen time but worrying about it too much isn't helpful either. I'm pretty sure most second children are exposed to their older sibling's screen time in any event.

Come back to us when you have a fractious 18 month old, who has been up since 5am, and you’re trying to sort their tea after a long days work.

I know quite a lot of people who planned to be screen free (myself included). I know zero people who are.

I've got a 15mo and if it wasn't for screen time I'd get fuck all done. Really don't understand the hysteria about kids and TV. I saw it growing up all the time and I'm not some messed up delinquent. As pp said, wait until you've got a baby/toddler and see what happens 😆 good luck

We don't have the tv on our house either with baby, but other peoples houses we can't control and don't really care

PFB. Let us know how it goes.

I was the same with my first, but actually I then realized screen time in itself isn’t bad. I see it as bad when it’s taking away from something else, eg it’s on all day and they watch that instead of playing. But for instance if I need to make dinner, and the alternative is me trying to cook dinner with 3 crying fighting children, then actually a bit of tv is the best option for eveyone! Especially something like cbeebies that has lots of educational bits on. And a bit of screen time at a friends really isn’t an issue.

I'm curious, (and sorry if I am wrong) you were born around the millennium you must have watched tv when you were little? Presumably you were using screens from a young age too (not iPads but PCs etc). How did it affect you? When you were little everyone used to say that the children that watched Teletubbies would have speech delays!
I think it will be impossible to completely avoid tv especially at friend's houses unless you live off grid in a commune.

Honestly OP I've three DC (one with additional needs) and this is something that I really think is such a non issue. I can't get my head around why people get so bothered about screens unless there are other issues at play and neglect you honestly can't tell which children are on screens and who aren't. An acquaintance from baby group was like this and asked to turn my tv off when she visited. Her children are lovely but not brighter or more engaged or anything compared to other children their age especially considering the amount of angst and drama the whole no screens situation created (she even continued during COVID). Just relax and enjoy your child and go with the flow.

Well I'm not really sure why you're asking the question about what to do when you're at other people's houses!
Of course you can't ask someone else to not have the Tele on!
So you have to suck it up!

I agree under twos don't need screen time but I think you are taking it a bit literally. You can look at your laptop with your baby in the same room

If you don't have any screen time then when you visit people it won't make an ounce of difference

As for when you're doing work, well sure if you're not allowing Tele you've just got to hope she's the type who'll play by herself!

What damage do you think will be done if a baby sees your laptop screen?

There’s a huge spectrum from absolutely never seeing a screen ever before two, and Cocomelon on an iPad 12 hours a day. Most people find a middle ground. Most people need it.

What's your reason for wanting zero screen time at all?

I don't think there's any research that shows very limited screen time has dire effects in comparison to zero screen time?

You'll likely feel differently once your baby is here - I don't mean that to sound patronising, it's just the likelihood of it!

As for this:

How do I do this when visiting houses/doing university work on my laptop (I am currently doing a degree so I work on my laptop a lot).

What research have you read that suggests your baby sometimes seeing the screen of your laptop will be developmentally damaging?

Just be in control of it. It's unrealistic to say 'no screens' unless this is something that you as parents are able to model. In excess, screens aren't great but they are part of our lives. I think modelling healthy use is important.

When I read threads like this, I often wonder what happened to the poster who said they wouldn’t let their two new born twins have any screen time until they were 18 and planned on writing to the school to tell them.

Mine didn't watch until they were 18 months and now it's very controlled. I suspect ADHD in both of mine (still young) and it has to be low stimulating as otherwise bad meltdowns follow for turning it off etc, or bad meltdowns can follow due to their brains being overstimulated so not worth it.

Low stimulating: little bear (very old but good), Winnie the Pooh, bluey.

One thing: always easy to say what type of parent you want to be before you have kids.

Ah I thought this too op. Blissfully ignorant times

We don't have screen time at home and it's only been possible by not installing a TV at all. It wasn't really intentional but we moved house and we've never had time to fix our TV to the wall. I don't watch TV myself so I don't miss it.

We hardly ever visit other people's houses. I'm a sahm so I take my DD (19m) out to toddler activities every day, and I'm not trying to constantly find ways to entertain her at home. If the TV is on when we visit someone (a few times a year) she'll watch it and I don't try to stop her.

I'm studying at home and I do all my computer based work after she's gone to bed for the evening. I would never attempt to try to study while she's awake, it would be frustrating for both of us. I do most chores while she's sleeping too, so I'm not trying to juggle tasks and trying to keep her occupied. Though since she was about 10m she'll play by herself sometimes, but it's unpredictable.

I honestly don’t think this is realistic. I also didn’t plan to let my son have screen time. He’s six months old now and while he doesn’t get a lot of it, sometimes he won’t stop crying and a quick nursery rhyme video on YouTube is the only thing that will distract him. It’s probably not the best thing in the world for him but neither is hysterically crying. If there’s something I can put on for him that I know will stop him from being so upset, why wouldn’t I do that for him? I think it’s only an issue if children are left in front of a screen for hours a day and given no social interaction or time to play. A little bit won’t hurt. And this all or nothing mentality is not helpful in parenting.

No one's newborn is watching TV. I would not have survived the newborn cluster feeding without box sets. In all seriousness there is nothing inherently bad or damaging about screen time. The concern is when it displaces other activities (particularly physical activity for older children).

I would have gone out of my mind in the first 6 months of my baby's life if I didn't have the TV on. If you aren't having TV you may need to find another form of entertainment for yourself, otherwise the days may feel quite long (podcasts?)

I'm on my second now so PFB days are behind me.

We did no screens until 18mo and then only TV (no small screens).

Allowed 30 mins in the morning and 30 mins at 4pm. Low stimulating programmes.

I know that on days I get lazy with this my toddler behaves worse and I alway regret it.

Oh but if you're at someone else's house I'm afraid you just have to live with it.

There's no good research that says it's bad for development.

Good luck getting on with uni work whilst taking care of a child too!