Screen time for baby

[ivyrayne]

Hey everyone! I am currently six months pregnant with my first baby, and I am looking into how myself and my partner will be raising our daughter. We’ve agreed on no screen time until at least 2 years old, as research shows that it is bad for her development. However, I realised recently that this isn’t a popular method in parents my age (I’m 22 and my partner is 24). My friend for example, has her tv on all day at her house, and both her toddler, and her newborn watch it at all hours. I’m concerned about visiting anyone’s house, as I don’t want my little one having screentime at all, and I’d feel rude asking someone to switch of their tv for me. How do people navigate this? I’m happy for her to have limited screentime after the age of 2, but until then I really want to avoid it. How do I do this when visiting houses/doing university work on my laptop (I am currently doing a degree so I work on my laptop a lot). Thanks!

How do people navigate this?

The vast majority of people don’t have to navigate it as they realise completely avoiding all screens is impossible. FWIW DS1 didn’t have any tv in our house until 2 but we absolutely didn’t care or try and police what happened outside of the home. DS2 (5 months) is exposed to TV daily and I’m not losing any sleep about it.

When you are both ill and just want to cuddle on sofa then watching teletubbies togeher or rhyme time is not going to harm your baby

There us a balance between being evangelical about zero screens and all in moderation

There's screen time that is better than others

From a few weeks old we used black and white contrast videos which would give us a few moments of calm to get a hot cup of tea when we had a very fractious baby that had very few moments of calm.

We have done nursery rhymes videos with makaton signing when she was around 18 months. At this ages she also loved masked singer - colour and music is always a hit!

It wasn't until she was older that she got cartoons and we do limit screen time using the timer on the TV and match the program to the length she gets so for a 30minute slot she has 1 30 min show and not 5 7min show.

Screen time can be overdone and a problem but a minimal amount of screen time being mindful about what you put on for them can benefit their development and your wellbeing. We spent 10 weeks in a mother and bab yh unit and the nursery nurses used to put ceebeeies on most days for the babies to watch it wasn't something we did at home.

my little boy is 6 months old and I would put on something for about 30 mins a day just. Like if I’m trying to do my hair or something needs done I’ll lie him down on his mat and put it on as a wee treat once a day usually….and then rush like a blue arsed fly trying to get stuff done lol

My eldest had pretty much no screen time for first couple of years…it’s really easy to avoid with your first and I do despair these days when you see babes in their high chair prodding a smart phone or tablet. my second child had screen time far earlier for obvious reasons! You won’t be able to avoid it at other peoples houses and I think it would be rude to ask anyone to turn their to off but good on you if you can perhaps suggest a game with your little ones instead!

My daughter is almost 3 and although we never band screen time she has no more than 20-30 minutes a day.

Before she was 1 I used it only to change poo nappies once she started rolling, so she watched a few minutes a day.

After 1 I allowed 15 minutes a day.

Ignore the comments saying it can't be done, nonsense. I clean my house with my daughter. I'm a SAHM too!

It's not the norm at all but you're right to try to do it IMO

With going to other peoples houses, I wouldn't even want to visit if they're going to leave the tv on, I couldn't concentrate on the conversation. I would meet outside the house.

With your work, you could try and do it whilst they nap but otherwise you will need help.

Its not impossible at all.

My DD had no screen time til she was 4.

I was 21 having her OP and all relatives knew of our no screens rule so they all turned their telly off when we were there. I had to ask in laws a few times but they eventually came round to my way of thinking.

With friends it was a bit different. A couple would trun their telly off but a few didn't and I would deliberately see them less because of it.

I have a 13 month old and we have a no screen rule for her. This is generally easy at home as I tend to have radio on during the day so it's no drain on me. When we go to people's houses I ask that they turn their TV off. She only sees my phone if we video call Nanny or uncle who live abroad.

However I'm aware my whole nct group show their kids phone stuff and I'm in the minority.

I don't like/watch telly much myself so it's been easier to maintain and my DH came on board after I showed him to vidence. No screens at nursery is standard or at baby groups we go to.

Same. We didn’t do routine screen time with our eldest around age 3, at which point it was 15-20 minutes a day. It’s totally do-able, but also you’ll be much more likely to succeed if you aren’t militant about it. (I.e., don’t throw in the towel because they watched Frozen in the airplane or saw some Paw Patrol at a friend’s house)

Now older (kids 6, 4, 3) they watch television in the evening for 30 min, and longer on a rainy weekend afternoon. We find TV very easy to keep from seeping into daily life; it’s in our bedroom, not in a common space where they usually play. Phones are out of bounds, and we don’t own an iPad. I do honestly think that our kids are more patient than other kids we see out and about because of it.

Honestly some of these comments are ridiculous, you'd have thought there was no life before television

When my mum was a kid there was no tv during the day only the evenings

Pathetic what lengths some people will go to to justify their own choices

We're all different, personally as I said in my earlier comment we weren't completely screen free, I'm still going to say the OP can do it if she wants to. And you can OP.

My daughter is extremely patient too

She can sit and do puzzles aimed at 5+yo and she's only 2

She is a joy to take out to cafes and restaurants

She's extremely good at waiting

She doesn't ever moan that she's bored

I don't attribute all of this to the minimal screens but it plays it's part

I have two young children and we don't do screen time at the moment (except a weekly video call with relatives). I don't find this an issue because I grew up with no TV so it's not something I really think about doing with my kids - though we have plans to start a "movie night" once a week at some point and we'll see where we go from there. I don't want no screens ever, but I do think it can be a hard thing to regulate well.

However, this is in our house. If we're at some one else's house and something's on, that's fine. I'd only be bothered about that if we were spending very significant amounts of time at someone else's house with a TV on.

I did also work on a laptop with a newborn/ very young baby in tow a few times and wouldn't worry about it. They're not watching the screen in any meaningful way at that point.

Yeah this is PFB feelings. As a 30 something who had fairly unlimited (it felt like, though no streaming, had to record children’s shows to VHS) TV time, I currently have low desire to watch tv at all, so can’t see what harm it’s done me! The less non negotiables you have; the easier you will find it. Tv has its place; getting stuff done is quite useful !

I let my kids watch tv. I need to survive somehow & have no support network apart from dh who works long nhs hours including night shifts. Feel free to judge me but you have no idea what it's like in my shoes doing so much alone on broken sleep.

We are a happy family who live near the beach and countryside and spend a lot of time at both places. We have NEVER used screens out in public e.g waiting room or restaurant, not once, and both kids are happy and doing well. I used to be an early years teacher so always give the kids lots of enriching activities.

BUT I sometimes need half an hour when they are sat still at home so I can do XYZ or use the toilet without my toddler following me in and trying to grab stuff in the bathroom/ touch me etc. If every toilet trip of my life was like that I'd go insane! SOMETIMES I just need to use the tv and that's ok imo.

Please come back and let us know if you saw this through 😂

Yes of course you can bring up a child and still get things done without screens. Most of humanity did/ is.

We did no screens in our home for both DDs until 2. To be fair, neither DH or I are big TV watchers anyway.

Thank you for all of your responses (except for the few rude and slightly patronising ones!). I get the feeling that a lot of people think I’m being a naive first time mum who is yet to experience the difficulties of motherhood, in which you’re probably right! We decided on no screens (only for the first two years) because of research that I have looked into, something which professors at my current university have also researched. To be honest, I think I am definitely overthinking going to people’s houses, as a little screentime may not do any harm! But I think I’m worried that once she starts watching TV, she will cry if she doesn’t have it (coming from experience in the past as a nanny, of a child who couldn’t live without his IPad). The child I cared for was an absolute nightmare if he didn’t constantly have a screen in front of him, and would take his iPad everywhere with him. I think I’m scared of this happening to my child, as it unfortunately had a bad effect on this child’s concentration when he was growing up. How much screen time is too much?

@GreatBigYou there is definitely some good research from what I’ve seen, I’ll link it if you’re interested?

And I will be in the final month of my degree when my daughter is born, with plenty of support from the university with my final assessment, so I’ll be fine! But thanks!

iPad that is constantly available is very different from 30 minutes of ceebeebies a day.

your goals are admirable and screen time should be minimal- but there is absolutely no ‘research’ that says your child accidentally seeing your laptop is going to cause developmental harm. If this is even on your radar, you need to do better research.

my 18 month old probably watches an hour of TV a day, 30 minutes in the morning whilst I drink my coffee. 30 minutes when we get in from a task and I just want to relax on the sofa with her for a bit. Sometimes on a weekend longer if we all watch a film together or are having a lazy day.

We don’t use iPads. No phones- we are strict about that. We will allow her to use our iPad to watch something on our next flight when she is 20 months, but that will be the first time.

it really doesn’t have to be so extreme.

@sickbucket67 Thank you for your response, I understand that I seem extreme, however my hormones/anxiety are raging in pregnancy and I have a tendency to overthink everything 😂 the laptop thing is one of those things, I know now that was silly of me. I think from what I’ve gathered from this thread, screentime is okay in moderation, which I’ll bear in mind if I ever feel like I need to use it. As a first time parent, I want to get it right, and since this will likely be my only child, I feel like I only have one chance! Hence why I’m trying to research as much as possible.

The parent I thought I'd be, and the parent I am is very different. Do your research, but you really won't know how you'll feel and how you'll parent until they are here and a lot of what you've been reading will go out of the window. Good luck.

As pp have said, research doesn't confirm screen time bad for kids. In fact some evidence to suggest it can be good.

Obviously with limits - 10 hours of shouty cartoons a day not the same as 30 mins of educational YouTube.

In terms of managing it in other people's homes, I guess give them a heads up beforehand and ask them to comply.

But you might want to consider a more moderate view. We find Ms Rachel brilliant for learning gestures, words and sign language. Hey Bear is useful when we need a calming, low energy activity for late afternoon when things are getting a bit fractious.

We try to stick to the tv rather than small screens, so it's not an option when we're out and about. May/almost certainly will reconsider as DD gets older.

OP I was very much anti-screen time, however when my eldest was about 16 months old I was heavily pregnant and had covid, a really bad case of it that properly knocked me for six. Easily the worst I've ever felt. Husband was the same (well, except that he obviously wasn't pregnant). In desperation we caved on our no screen time and put on Ms Rachel on YouTube.

My child has slightly delayed speech, and at 16 months was basically only saying mama and dada. So not hugely concerning but behind all his peers.

Anyway, after that one viewing of Ms Rachel, literally just one viewing, the next day I noticed that he had suddenly started saying "more" when he wanted more of something! I know it was Ms Rachel's doing as he did the baby sign language for more at the same time which I definitely didn't teach him and had never done in front of him before. After that point I decided that screen time was not the devil after all and Ms Rachel is welcome in my home

As I say, he's two now and his speech is still delayed but despite a huge amount of effort on my part to get him speaking, I have to tell you that 90% of the words he does say he learnt from Ms Rachel and Mr Tumble he only watches it two or three times a week for half an hour at a time. I've just managed to get in touch with the NHS speech therapists, and the speech therapist I spoke to was very positive about sensible screen time use.