Screen time for baby

[ivyrayne]

Hey everyone! I am currently six months pregnant with my first baby, and I am looking into how myself and my partner will be raising our daughter. We’ve agreed on no screen time until at least 2 years old, as research shows that it is bad for her development. However, I realised recently that this isn’t a popular method in parents my age (I’m 22 and my partner is 24). My friend for example, has her tv on all day at her house, and both her toddler, and her newborn watch it at all hours. I’m concerned about visiting anyone’s house, as I don’t want my little one having screentime at all, and I’d feel rude asking someone to switch of their tv for me. How do people navigate this? I’m happy for her to have limited screentime after the age of 2, but until then I really want to avoid it. How do I do this when visiting houses/doing university work on my laptop (I am currently doing a degree so I work on my laptop a lot). Thanks!

Good luck babes.

One of my favourite PFB's ever.

I left my 4 month old watching Hey Bear for 10 mins the other day while I had a dodgy stomach.

I'm expecting my mother of the year award imminently.

Xoxo

I think a lot of people here are being really patronising. We don't own a tv (no space and crumbly walls, not a ideological choice) so there isn't tv on in our house. Our son has seen TV at other people's houses plenty of times but in the grand scheme of things it's really minimal.

Some TV probably won't have a massive detrimental impact so try not to worry about that too much. And try not to let anyone dismiss you or how you want to parent. You might find that once baby is here you'll change your mind on some things, but you might not. You've got this, being worried about stuff is part of parenting but make sure you don't let it make you feel guilty about things that you needn't feel guilty about. ❤️

We were like that and we kept our DC away from screen time until 1-1.5 years old. Now, at 2 we let him watch some TV in the evening while I am preparing dinner.
I have friends who have older children and they watch lots of TV and phones but have managed to get into top secondary schools. Screen time necessarily isn't the only factor you need to be worried of in the long run, there are too many things to worry about being a parent. Good luck

It’s pretty much two years to the day since SIL announced her new PFB wouldn’t watch TV until 2. Guess how that turned out.

Can you link to this research showing that TV in limited amounts is bad? I’ve tried previously and failed to find it.

DS is 17 months and won’t sit and watch TV. I wish he would! Maybe if I’d tried to ban it he’d be as into it as his cousin. 😆

I think that with young children, the more time spent staring at a screen, the less time on other two way communication activities (eg being talked with), which is very good and necessary for their development.

Occasional TV won't do any harm (card carrying scientist here). Regarding the iPad and the child you were the nanny for, the issue there may be more about boundaries and saying no. What were the parents like in that respect? My DD is allowed to watch cartoons on my iPad under certain circumstances (she's six), but she knows that when it's time to turn it off and put it away, that's what happens. Otherwise no more iPad.
Finally, one of the best bits of advice I got when I was pregnant was to be as relaxed as possible about absolutely everything. The impact of maternal anxiety and stress is far worse for the child than anything you could be stressing about.

There's screen time in moderation and being totally daft about it. Our toddlers get an hour in the morning and an hour after tea and that gives me time to hoover etc and they love it and will sit because it's a treat

You let friendships suffer because they didn't turn their telly off for your PFB 😂😂😂😂

I've read it all now!

Same!

DD firmly plonked in front of the TV whilst I had the shits a few weeks back.

She remained plonked in front of the TV with all her toys for the full day while I was darting to the toilet to release what I can only describe as a cathrine wheel going off in my intestines.

I'm happy to come second place btw 🤣

If you have read the "research" check which countries they are doing it in.

The quality of US and Canadian kids TV compared to even commercial UK channels is subpar.

Also while lots of kids are addicted to smartphone apps or video games, I doubt you will find any addicted to good old fashion TV. If you can find your kid something more interesting to do than watch the box they will do it.

OP, I think it’s a good plan and even if you don’t make it to 2 years it’s worth trying. But I really wouldn’t worry about the odd glimpse of a screen at someone else’s house- you need to balance doing your best against staying sane.

@cornonthesnob I'll happily share it. I think the award is a magnum of Prosecco. Merry Christmas!!

You say that but I don't limit TV and my (under 2) son talks constantly, to anyone. He's so social. When he sees a dinosaur he will tell you exactly what type it is (well, most - he knows triceratops, stegosaurus, t-rex to name a few). Doesn't seem to have done his language and social development any harm so far! When he meets someone for the first time they're amazed at how talkative and intelligent he is for his age.
Some of it is nature, not nurture. My DH was speech delayed as a toddler so it certainly surprised us that our toddler is advanced in that area.

There is so much pressure on parents. Tv time is fine when you need to do housework, cook, or have a break!

I don't allow screens except for when baby looks at my phone when I need to do something but he tends to grab it so it's not that often. I watch a lot less tv myself now.
When they are little and play on the floor you can just place something between them and the tv if it's on in someone else's house.

I agree that looking at boring text not moving on your laptop isnr a problem. If there were lots of images moving a lot then yes.

No judgement to this mum, but op, I think this example is why screens are best avoided - they work too well to distract the child short term and make them quiet. They're as addictive for the parents as they are for the kids (not saying this mum is addicted )
But what the child doesn't learn is how to co regulate with the parent and can become reliant. Distracting a 6m old is usually easy with faces songs toys peekaboo cuddles walking about etc.

Same here - my son can sit for a long time in his high chair entertaining himself by watching everyone. My friends baby who has been watching screens since those YouTube fruit at 5 weeks old every day can't sit in her high chair for more than 5 mins

We were screen free (I had 2 under 2). I just didn't get anything done while the kids were awake. Did a PhD but worked on it in the evenings when the kids were asleep. I never took them to other people's houses - met in soft plays etc instead. It would definitely be rude to ask people to turn off their tv so dpnt do that. Completely do-able to be screen free if that's what you want, but don't expect it to be a picnic.

Oh, by the way, when my firstborn was tiny I did watch TV while he breastfeed, but only using headphones. As the baby was feeding and turned towards me, he didn't actually see the screen (on my ipad on a coffeetable).

I will add, though, that despite being screen free for the first few years of my son's life, he is totally hyper. He has actually been diagnosed with ADHD. Screenfree is advisable for many reasons, but I dislike those who boast about their patient well behaved child, crediting having been screen-free, and make comparisons to their friend's badly behaved child who watched 'too much' screen when they were little. It really isn't that simple, as my own son shows! One of my friends has had the TV on all day every day from the day her son was born and he is SO much better behaved, easier and calmer than my own son!

Mine can sit for a while in his high chair watching people, he loves to people watch. He's also had access to screens in moderation from a few months old when I'm alone and cooking, having a shower etc.

It's almost like babies/toddlers are different with different personalities.

We did exactly that our DS had no screens until he was about 2 years old.
At home, we never had tv on until after he went to bed or was napping.
It really wasn't that difficult and it was something i was quite sure of doing. So if you want to do it, don't let people make you feel stupid for it.

He still doesn't have alot of screen time, now hes at school, theres not much time after school inbetween tea and other things so we have maybe one little programme, but i do let him have an hour of a morning on a sat/sun and a movie night fri and sat if we are in and it works, so quite alot there.

Had this discussion with DS today. He's 27 and a teacher. I remember feeling guilty when I let them have half an hour tv as little ones. It was hard, I can see that screens are great distractions and to be the chief entertainer yourself is exhausting. Of course that didn't last and eventually they had games consoles and phones once they were teenagers.
He says that TikTok is the main evil as the kids he teaches have grown up with it, it's addictive and creates a very short attention span because there are multiple things going on at once. His view as someone who has grown up in the digital age is that screens are not all bad but some things are very bad.

Also the example you set is important. How much do you use screens? Because that's what your children see as normal.

In my own experience, the only parents who don't allow screen time are the ones who are off to work at 7.30 am and home at 6.30 pm.

No screen time here at the baby and toddler stages (we did filter what nursery to use as some do). Very limited screen time in primary school.
You can't control other people s houses but you can control your own. You won't be spending ages at people s houses so I wouldn't worry too much about this.

I do distract my son in other ways too.