Screen time for baby

[ivyrayne]

Hey everyone! I am currently six months pregnant with my first baby, and I am looking into how myself and my partner will be raising our daughter. We’ve agreed on no screen time until at least 2 years old, as research shows that it is bad for her development. However, I realised recently that this isn’t a popular method in parents my age (I’m 22 and my partner is 24). My friend for example, has her tv on all day at her house, and both her toddler, and her newborn watch it at all hours. I’m concerned about visiting anyone’s house, as I don’t want my little one having screentime at all, and I’d feel rude asking someone to switch of their tv for me. How do people navigate this? I’m happy for her to have limited screentime after the age of 2, but until then I really want to avoid it. How do I do this when visiting houses/doing university work on my laptop (I am currently doing a degree so I work on my laptop a lot). Thanks!

I do distract him in other ways 90% of the time but when he’s really upset a video works faster. Why would I leave him crying for longer than necessary? I only put the video on for a couple of minutes to get him calm enough to accept a feed or whatever he needs. He’s not in front of a screen for hours a day and he gets plenty of attention. I use screens occasionally to stop him being so upset, not to entertain him while I have time to myself. I haven’t left him with anyone or had any time to myself since he was born. Most days I struggle to eat and shower. I appreciate you’re not trying to be judgmental but you do sound it.

Have you actually read that research though and supporting commentary.

Most academics and researchers say thag excessive screen time is undoubtedly damaging and virtually all screen time is basically dead time when they're not learning from you. So between you interacting with them and screen time the screen time is bad.

I always worked on that theory so times that I couldn't interact with them anyway like the car I didn't mind screen time. If I'm desperately trying to cook or clean up from a vomit fest they've had then screen time is fine. As soon as I was able I switch it off and do something better.

While they're Ill I basically relax all rules and let them sit on sofa with toast and TV because they're hardly going to be in peak learning mode anyway lol.

It's better to understand things and make your decision. As they get older it's better for them to learn to moderate stuff rather than a total ban on anything.
I have three kids. Oldest is 16 youngest is 3 they seem to be turning out ok.

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Exactly.

There's also a time and a place for the examples pp used. When I'm in the shower or cooking, it isn't really the time for peekaboo. A bit of screen time is fine.

My 2 year old doesn't have much screen time but there are times when it has been a lifesaver.
For example, when he had a vomiting bug all night and was so upset. He was too upset and poorly to play with his toys or read books. So he watched a lot of tv that day. He hardly ever watches it otherwise but I don't think that day made any difference to his development and it helped him to keep calm in between being sick.
I also have a newborn and sometimes need to use tv for my toddler so I can get some things done. Not ideal but it is real life.

As for asking other people to turn off the tv if you go round to their house. I mean, would you ask them to turn it off for you?! Your child will exist in the world, where tv also exists. You can limit it as much as you want in your environment but you can't expect to be able to control others choices too. I went to a toddler group the other day and there was a tv on in the background. Tv and screens are everywhere, you can't avoid them completely. It is impossible.

You can’t dictate what tv is on at houses you visit. DT’s watched TV from their playpen from being tiny - kept them occupied whilst I did things which needed doing. Has done them any harm and didn’t affect their behaviour or development.

Sorry! Xxx

Amazed by some responses. My DC is 2.5 and they have never had screen time - actually, not never, a few times the TV was on in other people’s houses. We would ask to turn off if close friends/relatives but not mention otherwise, and DC was never that interested.

Have you considered that the parent that has felt the need to do screen time may have had the more difficult baby? It's not necessarily a result of what you're suggesting, but could be the other way round. I would have stayed screen free, but my son is clingy. I need it to be able to make lunch for us!

My dd didn't like watching until she turned one, now we play Ms Rachel so that she can learn English (we speak a different language at home), she's learned numers, colours, meanings of words like up and down, etc. solely from that program as she doesn't go to nursery yet (she will be 2 soon), in my view as long as screen time is in moderation and you alternate with some time outdoors/playing with toys, etc. it's fine. Zero screen time is unrealistic only because you will realise eventually that it may be the only time to sit down for 5 min undisturbed 😂

In my own experience, the only parents who don't allow screen time are the ones who are off to work at 7.30 am and home at 6.30 pm

That's not my experience. Most of our group of friends (mixed with SAHP, part time and full time) and it was a bit of a mixed bag but most stayed away from screens until after/around 2.

Have you considered that the parent that has felt the need to do screen time may have had the more difficult baby?

That's an excellent point. Correlation does not mean causation. I had a very difficult baby and didn't use screens, but I can definitely see the temptation! I just did everything (eg housework) badly instead and got nothing done.

You’re right very true! (My post was trying to encourage op rather than criticize other parents but really sorry how it came across)