Those four young men who died in Wales

[Choirsinger7]

My heart breaks for them and their families, they looked a looked a lovely bunch of young men, with bright futures and just wanted a bit of independence and fun as they should do at that age before it all went horribly wrong. My DS is a similar age.

Thank you. I worry a lot due to my Brothers death regarding my DS driving. He is taking lessons now. Then when I hear of other families going through the same thing it breaks my heart.

I'm not making it about me. I just feel so very sad for these families.

Just horrific. My ds was stopped for speeding when 17, brand new driver. It was the best thing that could have happened, almost lost his licence there and then but instead was given points and driving course. Turned him in to a very cautious driver. Not that these boys were speeding, it sounds like a very dangerous road and bad conditions. It's such a horrendous loss, horrific.

I so agree @yepmeagain Relatively young adults in charge of hugely powerful machines is just so dangerous when you add in bad weather. I'm all in favour of some sort of change or restrictions.

Posting on threads like this is really complex. To many people it's intrusive and insensitive, however something so tragic is naturally difficult to comprehend for a lot of people, and we have a need to discuss it to try and make sense of it.

Posting on threads like this is really complex. To many people it's intrusive and insensitive, however something so tragic is naturally difficult to comprehend for a lot of people, and we have a need to discuss it to try and make sense of it

I honestly don't understand some of the posts on this thread. Don't they understand how empathy and grief (and human emotion) works? Something profoundly tragic happens, overwhelmingly mind blowingly awful for the loved ones. Why wouldn't the surrounding society be affected by that?

I'm glad we live in a society where people post how upsetting it must be for the families, how sad they feel about the loss, think about what might possibly prevent future tragedies etc. What's the alternative; not my child so why would I care?

It's not being a grief vampire to care about the death of someone else's child. It's not making it all about yourself to feel sad that someone is going through so much pain. It's not selfish to imagine how awful it would be to be in their shoes.

Stop policing how others react to shocking things. Allow society to grieve alongside the family and hopefully support and help with the monumental task of carrying on in the face of this.

Carried on offering loads of practice when DS passed his test. And then I was with him for the first few motorway trips. Also, did impose some restrictions on the 1st thousand miles solo - along the lines of the laws in other countries pps have mentioned. He was not happy at the time but understands now

Just the year before his test an 18 year old in our town lost her life as the passenger in her boyfriend’s car soon after he got his licence. So tragic for both families, just as this accident is. My heart is breaking for the families of these boys today

From a road safety aspect yes I am looking at this, concerns for young people in general and also I have a 16yo who I don't want on the road when he's 17yo learning to drive exactly due to what has happened to these boys. Absolutely it's a tragedy and a waste of life. If they had free access to public transport system there may not have been a tragedy at all. Most parents who have been through this situation would want to avoid this happening to anyone else in future.

I agree with a PP that increasing the age for learning to drive to 18/19 would be a good idea.

Some very sick and insensitive people on here, making it about themselves, judging the parents, speculating but pretending they’re not. Some of the worst of humanity.

I don't think that considering additional driving safety laws is suggesting that the young people did anything wrong and certainly isn't judging the parents.
It is more about how we as a society can help scaffold young people as they start driving.

People on this thread are looking to be deliberately offended, more like...

The what ifs! Awful.

Perhaps a different thread without these boys mentioned in the title or the rest of the thread would be more respectful.

It's happened and nothing can bring these boys back. This is the most heartbreaking thing for their parents.

People on this thread are looking to be deliberately offended, more like...

On two threads about this, I’ve read accounts of people that have been through similar of know oc others that have, saying how unhelpful discussion like this is and that threads like this cause further pain because family often do read lots online afterwards. For some reason people think that saying what they want to is more important the feelings of the people involved in tragedies like this.

People’s selfishness is astounding. They must have their day at any cost. They’re terrible people.

say*

Just listening to Jeremy Vine talking about this on the radio. Just wanted to express that I am so sorry about the outcome of this story. I didn’t know the families but I was praying for a good outcome.

@Vettrianofan

As I said, read the room.

This isn't about you, your DC or anyone else.

That sounds a good idea.

I posted on the other thread in support of the posters who wanted to talk about it as nothing was known but this thread is grotesque, OP, it really isn't anything to do with you and your 'heartbreak' is absolutely nothing compared to what those families will be going through, every day of their lives now.

I wish you and people like you would just keep your thoughts in your head because you are making it about you and how you feel. Stop it, please.

Yeah, this one has particularly upset me as my oldest is 15 and I have a few friends with sons the same age who look not unlike those lads.

All the people trying to police the thoughts of people online are really on a hiding to nothing. You aren’t going to stop people discussing a story in the National Press. My advice would be the hide the thread and stop upsetting yourselves.

Don't be so condescending. Some of the comments are coming off as a bit unintelligent. It all went horribly wrong for one.

I don't have a problem with people talking about what's going on, Rudsy but I do have a problem with posters appropriating grief that isn't theirs and I'm saying so. Competitive 'grieving' is mawkish and inappropriate.

The other thread was rightly closed. We know the outcome, what else is there that needs to be said about it?

I’m sorry but you can’t accuse someone of being condescending in one breath and then decide comments are unintelligent in the other. That’s the ultimate in condescension.

Just get off the thread and have a cup of tea and a biscuit.

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽