Those four young men who died in Wales

[Choirsinger7]

My heart breaks for them and their families, they looked a looked a lovely bunch of young men, with bright futures and just wanted a bit of independence and fun as they should do at that age before it all went horribly wrong. My DS is a similar age.

Is that necessary ??

My mental health is poor and this has really affected me. I've not started a post about it because it feels insensitive, me talking about my imagined heartbreak when 4 mothers are actually living it.
I've had CBT therapy because everytime my sons go out I expect something like this to happen. I live in fear of it way more than is normal and I just keep crying. One of the boys really looks like my son. I know it's my illness but I am just heartbroken for everyone involved. Such beautiful boys, off on an adventure with mates.

I don't think the age is necessarily relevant, but the power of the car can be. There was talk of limiting young drivers to 1L car or something. I'm not saying this was an issue in this case but motorcycles are restricted in size by age, why aren't cars?

I completely agree. Also it doesn't matter how beautiful they are it's a tragedy whatever they looked like.

Exactly. As is every fatal car accident.

We have no way of knowing the circumstances of the accident and whether a more experienced driver would have managed better. Sometimes an accident is just an accident.

My heart sank when I heard that the four boys had been found and had not survived. I can’t begin to imagine how their families are feeling and my heart goes out to them.

When I was at school, four lads who had left the school a couple of years prior all died in an accident on a local road where they collided with a tree. Within two years of that, there was another accident further along the same road- again- four teenage boys lost their lives. 8 young lives lost and 8 families completely devastated. Ours was not a large town and the ripples were felt by everyone.

It sounds like a terrible accident, the weather conditions and sharp bends and windy roads were far from ideal.

My heart and soul goes out to their parents, families and friends. I hope they have much support and are surrounded by love.

How on earth can you tell how lovely they were from how they look?

The pp said they look like they were lovely, not that she knew they were lovely. Ffs it's just a comment expressing sympathy for young lads who have lost their lives.

What heartbreaking news. Sincere condolences to the families and friends of those involved.

My son is the same age and regularly goes in cars with his friends who have just passed their tests. This made my blood run cold.

Oh for goodness sake. Stop trying to make yourself part of this tragic situation, ffs. Distasteful.

It is tragic and I just cannot imagine how family and friends process such a terrible loss.

I remember driving country lanes at night in winter as a young driver, it is terrifying to think how unsafe I must have been. Add the distraction of three friends in the car, I would not be surprised if I had come unstuck.

Take care. Perhaps revisit what you learnt in your CBT?

I’m going to be brutal and will probably get slated for this.

I hate these threads.

I AM that parent who has been through the tragic, unexpected death of a child. Alive one day, and leaving the hospital with a memory box 6 hours later.

Its fucking awful. And I hate hearing/ seeing other people say how much it affected them because oh god it could have been them. But no. It was me. This is a tragic, awful situation and my heart breaks for these parents. Count your lucky stars it isn’t you going through it, and be a little bit kinder to someone (anyone) today.

I have a DS that age but I also lost my youngest Brother at that age in a car accident.

I can't stop thinking about the four boys and I feel upset. I have spoken to my DS about it and I've always spoken to him about his Uncle. It is devastating.

Our family were broken and I want to send all my love to their families.

So sorry for your loss. Seeing my own parents go through this was heartbreaking.

I find myself really sad about this and feel guilty as it’s nothing compared to the real grief among their loved ones-people who loved them. I think it’s because I know that beautiful area very well and also my son was driving him and his 3 friends back to university after a match when a lorry clipped his wheel. The car rolled over and over and stopped on its roof a couple of inches from a parapet on a bridge. The relief they were all fine although the car was a wreck is something I still think about as it could’ve been so different. Life turns on a sixpence and am so so sorry those boys weren’t so lucky.

You know how utterly awful this comment is? Not just because of the control aspect but because there is an element of blame as well

Horrendous

I cannot even begin to imagine the pain of the parents and here you are suggesting the young Scot card as the answer/.

Read the fucking room

This is such an insensitive thread. I've reported it.

Yes this is true. DH still asks me and/or our teens to be quiet when he is at a tricky junction and wants to focus. He has been driving for over thirty years, and learned to drive on mountainous Welsh roads.
My friend’s father felt that our road training didn’t go far enough and paid for her to have extra lessons after she had passed her test. He was in the military and the lessons were with a Special Forces man who taught her how to deal with various situations, and gave her the experience of driving on different types of road. She lived in a rural, mountainous part of England and drove all over the place, I could tell the difference in how she drove compared to many of our friends the same age (we were early twenties).
Accidents with groups of teenagers in a car are not uncommon, I do wonder what we as a country could do to improve safety for less experienced drivers.

Didn’t the Nicola Bulley case teach us anything? The police made a statement on Monday about the police’s actions and the effect social media had on the family of Nicola.
And here we are again, intruding on someone else’s grief, speculating on the cause of the accident.
An accident caused by any one or more of a number of factors: weather conditions, tyre blow out, mechanical failure, rotten wet leaves on the road, swerving to avoid an oncoming car or driver error.
The police accident investigation team will do a through job, I’ve seen them in action. They literally leave no stone unturned.

Spicedapple anicecupoftea I'm so sorry for your families' loss and devastation. Life can be bitterly unfair.

yet another rubber necking victim blaming ghoulish thread
it really does seem that people have to make it all about them

I don't think any more restrictions are necessary. Insurance is already hellishly expensive enough to prevent most from buying anything over a 1.2L engine. We live in an area with a lot of wealthy people and a lot of big cars and I've never seen a teenager driving one. Insurance as a main driver is already about £3,000 a year for a tiny car.

I think it's more important that they learn to drive and have their freedom to get to work and so on, in spite of the risk of accidents.

Though I am in favour of road safety legislation generally, 20mph speed limits and speed cameras in the right places in particular (not that I'm implying speed was a factor here).

The local council are trying to impose more 20mph limits around schools and drivers are moaning like hell about it on the Facebook group.