Really how different was your second child?

[Gooddaytoyouall]

Just wanted to start a lighthearted debate! You always hear the second child is the wild child, I’ve had people tell me from relatives to medical professionals not to be lulled into a false sense of security with DC1, very placid baby that rarely cries or causes ouch of a fuss about anything really (but does have their moments of course)! I will be having a second regardless if natures intends it, but would like to hear just how different those second babies really were!!

*disclaimer fully understand this is a brand new little individual with there own personality, likes and dislikes! We are humans not robots 🤖 ( I hope!)

My sister and I are like chalk and cheese, always have been. I'm the studious, responsible rule follower. She's the fun loving, sporty one.

First is not quite 2 and youngest is 6 months. But, already they have been incredibly different!

First is the wild, absolutely crazy girl tho. But second had horrific colic for months. Second reaching milestones much quicker. But, there's no way she could possibly be as crazy, daredevil and cheeky as the first!!!!!!!

Very different! DC1 was the 'perfect' child until 14 and teen hell rained down for 6 years. Now DC1 is an incredible adult 30+.
DC2 was wired from the second of birth, cometely hyper and non stop talk until 14 then boom, totally chilled for years. Now a ball of charisma and fun late 20's. If I'd had DC2 first, I might not have had a 2nd!! They have much in common but different in nature. Good luck!

My two are currently absolute polar opposites in every sense of the word 😂

3 year old boy - cried constantly as a baby, had to be rocked to sleep, basically doesn't like any food unless it's snack like (obvs eats everything at nursery though) is clingy and likes attention, very sensitive, complete daddy's boy

9m old girl - doesn't ever cry unless there's actually a problem, self settles to sleep and always has, very independent, doesn't like being held and rocked, eats anything and everything, doesn't really require much actual attention tbh

The pregnancies were also completely different as were the births. Maybe they'll get more similar as they get older but for now they are quite literally the opposite of each other

My boys are completely different.

If I'd had my second, first, he'd have been an only child!

My first was an easy baby and is now an easy toddler and the second is on the way 🫣. I'm hoping for a similar level of parenting difficulty 😅

Second is definitely more wild : When she was a baby she was lots easier …then grew horns at around 18months. But in as many ways she is more challenging she is easier. She has a stronger personality and less likely needs me to push her - she just gets on with life, very independent . My first needs sometimes gentle pushing/guidance.

But it was me as a parent that was different- even with a 6 years age gap! I was less worried less freaked out with the red book/weight/when they crawl/walk. In that way the baby time was easier, then when they went to nursery- I knew they’d be ok. When starting secondary school it was much more familiar.

Second, very calm and a joy as a teenager. He never slept through until he was 5 though!!!

My youngest is incredibly different - and much easier!

But my first had colic and also has since been diagnosed with mild autism and some other conditions.

For instance, my youngest is very adventurous with food, whereas my eldest likes everything bland. And my youngest has quite a laidback disposition, slow to anger/frustration, very much different to my eldest. I feel I've parented the same as much I can.

Very - it was put down by family as girl/boy thing then had DD2 who was different again.

Actually DS and DD2 were much easier babies - and are probably less highly strung even now.

Completely different from conception, she’s fucking feral and no signs of let up!

I have this theory that in the majority+ of cases, you can tell how difficult a couple's first child was by how quickly they have a second. We have a four year age gap. If DD had been first, I suspect that gap would have been a LOT smaller.

As babies, totally different. DS was fussy and challenging (now we know he has sensory processing disorder and ADHD), didn't sleep, very alert. DD was a mostly very easy baby, slept well etc. But she was also less flexible.

As older children, they have core things in common - both are quite sensible, both are very kind and empathetic. But they are very different in how they present, their interests, behaviour, academics etc.

+disclaimer - specifically say "majority" because I'm fully aware that there could be all kinds of additional reasons from finances to fertility challenges.

My DC2 was the placid one, it's DC3 who is wild!

Two boys, 21 months apart, and totally different from day 1 to now, 40-odd years later. But the youngest was - and is - the calm, laid-back easy one.

After the first, I’m amazed I ever had another, tbh.

Mine were actually almost identical babies to the point where the memories of them blur together even though I had them 5 years apart. As they've got older their differences are much clearer but neither were more difficult than the other.

I have 2 DDs, 5 and 18m. Honestly, they are really quite similar. Having DD2 is like a repeat of DD1, although she has hit the milestones slightly earlier. But both of them are happy, chilled, easy to feed, average sleepers, good with communication enjoyed, enjoyed the same activities. Parenting DD2 has been a bit more relaxed but also less structured - her routine was looser as we just ferried her around to DD1's activities. We put more effort into sleep training DD1 but slacked a bit with DD2 and she is co-sleeping, but that's more down to parenting I think.

First DD was a nightmare, nearly did have any more but second DD was much more chilled so glad I did !

Very different - my second was a much much easier baby & toddler than the first.

They have very different personalities now they are pre-teens but lots of similarities too - I guess I would say their values are the same though they approach life very differently. They’re both brilliant though.

I agree with a PP. If DC2 (calm, happy to be put down, doesn’t cry much, predictable) had been first we would have had a 2 year age gap. However, DC1 was an incredibly fussy, high needs, difficult baby and has turned into a high energy, highly strung, demanding pre schooler. It’s why we have a 3.5 year gap and will stop at 2!

The only way they are similar is a massive aversion to sleep as babies it seems 🙃

I have this theory that in the majority+ of cases, you can tell how difficult a couple's first child was by how quickly they have a second. We have a four year age gap. If DD had been first, I suspect that gap would have been a LOT smaller.

I didn't realise how bad DD1 was - though few people did try and tell me - and being managed out during pg meant I found myself SAHM and she was focus of my day and looking back don't think we'd have managed otherwise - so was pg with second by 12 months - was a pleasant surprise how much more chilled he was.

An interesting theory! To be fair, that rings quite true of all the people I know with babies!

where other things like you say (fertility, money) aren’t a factor.

Love all the responses please keep them coming!

First child is definitely the wild child of my DC!

DD2 was a sweet and easy baby, now she's 3.5 she has her moments but is still basically sweet and helpful.

I love DS1 so much and he's a great kid but he has a serious and often-stated in principle objection to rules of any kind.

I have this theory that in the majority+ of cases, you can tell how difficult a couple's first child was by how quickly they have a second. We have a four year age gap. If DD had been first, I suspect that gap would have been a LOT smaller.

Lol this is exactly why we have a four year age gap

I heard this and thought it’s unlikely though with the same the genes. I thought DC2 would be an angel like DC1 however they are soooo different. DC2 is definitely the wild one but I wouldn’t change any of them. Their different personalities compliment each other nicely.

Four DC, all wildly different in some respects and similar in others. I’d say rather than any one being an easier child overall than another they have all had periods of being easy/hard to parent for a variety of reasons… I do however chuckle at parents who have the first perfect child and fully expect the same with the next offspring… it’s like they think they’ve nailed parenting (then the second or third child comes along to prove them wrong)