Really how different was your second child?

[Gooddaytoyouall]

Just wanted to start a lighthearted debate! You always hear the second child is the wild child, I’ve had people tell me from relatives to medical professionals not to be lulled into a false sense of security with DC1, very placid baby that rarely cries or causes ouch of a fuss about anything really (but does have their moments of course)! I will be having a second regardless if natures intends it, but would like to hear just how different those second babies really were!!

*disclaimer fully understand this is a brand new little individual with there own personality, likes and dislikes! We are humans not robots 🤖 ( I hope!)

I have an 18yo dd and a 15yo ds. They were and are different in lots of ways, but as babies and very young children they weren't very different in behaviour and temperament. Both easy babies, good sleepers, non-boisterous toddlers etc. Both liked similar activities except that dd always loved drawing and ds didn't.

I have this theory that in the majority+ of cases, you can tell how difficult a couple's first child was by how quickly they have a second. We have a four year age gap. If DD had been first, I suspect that gap would have been a LOT smaller.

I think some bigger age gaps (if they aren't caused by miscarriages or infertility) are due to dreading the prospect of going through pregnancy and childbirth again!

DD2 is only 20 months old, but to be honest, for the baby and early toddler phase – very, very similar, except that DD2 had reflux.

Very. First was grumpy. Second a giggler. First very ambitious/competitive, second chilled. First very logical, and rational, second much more empathetic but also mad as a box of frogs. Love em both to bits.

Wouldn't have a clue as only have my son. First child - not placid , cried for 6 months straight and didn't sleep through till 13 months. He was a difficult baby to look after but he's the easiest toddler and a joy-very very energetic though.

Mine are very different. Dd1 liked to be rocked to sleep but then would be put down and sleep in her crib. She’s always been sensible, cautious even and would stand next to me as a toddler in a car park. Dd2 was (& still is at 2.5) incredibly clingy! She wouldn’t even go to her dad without crying until 8 months and I had no chance of putting her down, even seemingly fast asleep. She spent a lot of time in a wrap carrier! Now she is much more adventurous than her sister but runs off at any opportunity!

This is so interesting ! Currently pregnant with second !!
my first really easy baby until she turned 1 and didn’t sleep for a full year !!! Now a menace to society at age 4, but also very chilled and likes alone time!

hoping second time lucky ( not with the no sleep though…)

I can’t really comment as DC2 is still in utero but it would be so nice to have a chilled baby who self settles this time around.

My DM reckons she would never have had any more if her third baby had arrived first!

My second is super chilled and much more laid back than DC1.

My second is the easiest teenager ever. Except for severe reflux until he was 18 months he has been no trouble at all (almost 16 now). His sisters are much more difficult

Yup dc1 easygoing, chilled, ds2 hyper, loud, ran about BUT ds1 have to nag to study and is all about being out and now ds2 is sensible and studies and works hard (but you can still see his toddler days in him from time to time and when he starts going out out we’ll worry about him more)

My first born was the easiest, happiest baby. Never had a tantrum. My second was the opposite, it all started from when he started to eat. Happy one minute and the next he’s screaming blue murder on the supermarket floor 🤯.

Now he’s a wonderful, kind hearted boy although he has a real tendency to whinge quite a lot still. 😂

Totally different from birth - now in their 30s. First was the " wild child", even now she is outgoing, sociable, dozens of friends etc. Second was the very quiet one, always shy, lacking social skills, only a couple of friends. I don't think you can generalise !

DC1 was a very hard baby, he had pretty bad reflux, but is much easier now he's at school. He's sensitive but very smart, a great eater, and absolutely hilarious!

DC2 was a dream baby, never ever cried, fed well, smiley. He's now a threenager with attitude, who does whatever he wants and shows no remorse. He will also only eat beige food.

Interesting thread! Currently pregnant with second. First was a 'difficult' baby as cried for the first 7 months straight due to colic/reflux, didn't sleep though until 2 years and now at 3.5 is a massive ball of energy that sucks all the life out of me but is very socialable and lovely and so smart. But a massive whiner lol. I agree I'd been putting off trying for second due to how hard it's been/is. Really hoping for an easier time with the second! Time will tell

My oldest is definitely my wild child, my second is a breeze

My eldest was the rather challenging baby and toddler, to put it mildly! Sleep was a challenge, colic, just generally being an angry baby and toddler. An absolute delight now at primary school.

Had a 2 year age gap because I wanted to get the sleepless nights out of the way asap.

My second was the most relaxed and happy baby I’ve ever seen. Probably had 2 tantrums maximum. Slept through the night from about 6-8 weeks old. Also an absolute delight now at primary school!

My eldest was the easiest kid ever. Her reception teacher described her as "the perfect child" and, even as a teen now, her form tutor at high school said "I'd have a class full of her".
My youngest was less easy. He has ADHD and autism so you can imagine how different their personalities are. Before he was diagnosed he was a really difficult child. Tantrums, crying, demanding, fussy etc. If he was first I'd never have had another. Since he's got older he's better but still has his moments.

Me and my sister are very different too. She's older than me and has always been the wild one. I was much better behaved and this has carried through to adulthood. There's a reason I'm the favourite

Youngest is 11 and just so hyper / stubborn / angry. I feel like I've never not had the toddler stage. She is waiting on a ADHD assessment but she isn't like that at school.

She gets her own way more as it's easier. My younger sister was the same.

Neither of mine were wild. Both easy babies/toddlers, good sleepers etc.

They are teenagers now, and couldn’t be more different. 1st is a very sociable, creative extrovert (like me), 2nd is quiet, shy, scientific introvert (like my DH).

DC2 taught me that I wasn't the perfect parent and that DC1 was just easy going and naturally quite calm and sensible.
They're now at the same secondary school. Those teachers must come across siblings who are different to each other. My two often get a comment of "are you the sister/brother of X" followed by "you're quite different, aren't you".

Exactly the same with my 2 girls

My eldest is almost 3 so she has her moments but on the whole she's pretty chilled out. She's perfectly happy sat on the floor colouring or practicing her animal names. My second is feral. You can't take your eyes off of him for a second. At the moment his favourite thing to do is climb up me while I'm washing up. Just grabs my leg and climbs then pulls himself up my back until he can look over my shoulder.

Mine are 7 and 4 and are fairly similar.
DC1 is more emotional but also more independent e.g. been getting herself dressed from 2.5. She was a middling sleeper as a baby and middling in terms of crying e.g. had the witching hour in the evening but otherwise OK.

DC2 has less emotional outbursts (although does get irritated by his sibling!) and is less independent e.g. at 4.5 still hates getting himself dressed, cutting his own food etc. He was a worse sleeper but cried less. (I actually coped better even though he slept worse as it was second time and I embraced co-sleeping which I didn't manage first time.)

Overall though they are quite similar. Both love books and numbers (this is part nurture I guess though), both good at concentrating on playing.

If my second was first, there wouldn't have been a second.

First works hard, loves life, always doing activities, pleasant, easy going. Easy baby who always slept, chilled toddler (except for demanding independence).

Second is lazy, bad tempered, sulks, stamps around, never wants to do anything. 14 and still doesn't sleep properly.

We always say that ds watched his big sister and learned from her. He is, and always has been calm and thoughtful and reasonable. Dd was our "wild child"!