Three year olds teeth almost decaying - feel terrible

[Cloudyrainy]

So my son had his first check up at the dentist today, he turned 3 in July.

I was concerned about his teeth as he absolutely HATES me brushing them and he has a lot of issues around food so eats more sugar than he probably should. The dentist has said his teeth are not decaying yet but there are spots they’re concerned about and said that it’s bad considering he is only three.

I feel absolutely terrible, I really do try to brush his teeth as best as I can but it’s obviously not enough. He was also a complete angel for the dentist and he let her rummage about in his mouth and didn’t say A WORD, I feel like she didn’t believe me when I said he clamps his mouth shut and screams when I brush his teeth. She said lots of other children wouldn’t let her in their mouths as well as he did and asked how he doesn’t let me. I didn’t know what to say, she also said if it’s worse at his check up in three months he’d need put under sedation if there was decay?

I just feel absolutely terrible, everything she suggested to try we already do, I’ve tried to make it a game, singing songs, new toothbrush and new toothpaste.

Can I fix this by cutting the sugar and keep trying with the brushing? They weren’t decayed yet but obviously what she said is worrying 😞

What does he drink?

He will only drink watered down diluted juice, he won’t drink milk or water anymore but he did have oat milk in a bottle until he was 2.5

if he hasn’t got decay already, then stopping sugar now will prevent any from starting. Keep all sugary foods and drinks to meal times only. Any snacks keep sugar free. Keep persevering with the brushing, you will get there. You haven’t failed him, there’s time to change habits.

Can you teach him to gargle or rinse his mouth with water to dislodge any pieces of food once he can do this you could add some mouth wash ?
Or get the dye tables and get him to brush his own teeth to get rid of the dye.

What toothbrushes have you tried? Get a selection to try go for a baby one with a tiny head, electric one with favourite character, finger brush or even a flannel. Brush them in a different room, perhaps kitchen so it goes along with meal times (you should really wait before brushing but something maybe better than nothing to build a new habit)

Remember it's not just obvious sugary foods to avoid but crisps etc too as potato starch is terrible for teeth and tends to stick to them pretty well

He will only drink juice because that's what you allow him. Put your foot down my cousin had full teeth mouth removal at age 14 because his mum didn't listen and his teeth were so rotted from years of drinking ribena and dilute orange. Your the parent get in control of this. We have 3 toddlers they all love brushing there teeth. Started with in one week allowing them to play with a toothbrush in the bath so it wasn't a foreign object then after a couple of nights showing them with my brush what to do and allowing them to do there own for another couple of nights and then on the last 2 nights adding in tiny drop of baby tooth paste and finally letting them allow me to brush teeth properly after they had tried to. Now they all brush there teeth morning and night no problem

Did you dentist not suggest sealant coatings on the teeth?

If not, perhaps when you go back you should ask about it. They can only be put onto teeth that have no fillings though.

What about getting some child aimed mouthwash which which he can gargle with before the brushing, and set a whole new routine. If you are stressed about it, he is gong to be, so don't let it become a fight.

Get a timer and make it a fun two minutes. When he is done, you tell him a joke. Or do a daft dance. Pull a silly face and he gets to as well. Anything really, just keep the tension out of doing it.

And decrease the amount of juice to water. Or add a strawberry or some fruit to a jug of water, and he gets to have 'special' water.

Teeth are important so do what you need to now while you can.

Brush with him morning and evening, make it a fun activity. Find cartoon videos on YouTube and brush along together. Play some music and dance whilst brushing. Hopefully he will find these fun.

Watching this too. My 2 year old absolutely hates brushing his teeth - and yes, I did exactly as you did @Ladyj84

Mouthwash is a terrible idea for a 3 year old. It will disrupt his oral good bacteria and will
lead to more tooth decay.

You need to get rid of all sugary food. Oat milk is also high in sugar, better off just giving him milk or water.

Cut the juice (is it sugar free?)
Cut the junk
Hold him while you brush his teeth.

Awful, to have to force him on this, but necessary.

He will only drink juice because that's what you allow him

Save your sanctimony. It’s hardly going to help the OP now, is it?

Some kids genuinely will refuse to drink water and would rather dehydrate themselves than even have a sip.

OP, you’ll have to do what you can to reduce the sugar, because you won’t be able to eliminate it entirely. Weak no added sugar squash (I realise this isn’t sugar free) is a start.

As for tooth brushing, mine screamed bloody murder and sometimes it took two adults to hold them down while they screamed. At least when they scream you can get the brush in their mouth.

Good luck.

Can he brush your teeth while you do his? Anything to make it fun. Pretend it’s tickly.

you’ve got to ditch the juice - he will get used to water.

Oat milk is also high in sugar, better off just giving him milk or water.

Has it not occurred to you that the child is allergic to dairy or lactose intolerant?

I held firm with my 3 year old that no tooth brushing in the evening equalled absolutely no sugary treats the next day. He soon caved after a few days of my holding firm on this.

If you have a partner, have they tried brushing your son’s teeth if he won’t let you do it?

DNephew (5) had this, this year. His parents cut out juice and cut down a lot on sugary foods and he has water now.

They’re also stricter on teeth brushing twice a day.

I’m shocked that a three year old is eating too much added sugar ! There is no excuse for that at all, read labels, have healthy snacks. No juice just water or milk. If it’s bad now, the consequences will be dreadful in a few years time.

Absolutely this 👆 No arguments, no compromise.

Perhaps swap for sugar free squash and gradually dilute that down to nothing, interspersed with giving him just water at times (especially when he's incredibly thirsty and more likely to drink water).

The biggest thing you need is to make it fun, despite your stress and horror at the situation. Chase a favourite character around his mouth while you brush his teeth. Have a cup and straw drinking race (water) that he gets to win. Get imaginative and silly. You can deal with this now and have time for it to be resolved by the time his milk teeth start falling out, which is the main thing.

Don't buy squash etc at all or have it in the house. Yes it will be hard / a huge adjustment but the child will eventually learn to drink water. It's bad for a child to drink squash / 'juice' daily & you need to get a handle on the situation.

Teeth brushing - pin down and do it. No fun but necessary.

You really don't want to get to the stage where he needs a referral for a GA extraction and there's nowhere to refer him to. NHS dentistry is a total shitshow.

I'm no expert but I think it's sugary drinks are a bigger problem than sugary foods. I would gradually water down the drinks more and more until he is only drinking water

I assume he isn't using a bottle to drink the squash? If so- that needs to stop. Does he have juice before bed- or is brushing the last thing before bed?
Any reason he is only having his 1st dental check up now, at 3? I thought it should be at 12mths, or earlier depending on teeth eruption.

Your child doesn't make the rules you do. He will drink when he is thirsty, I have never known a three year old dehydrate themselves to death.
I suggest you cut the sugar which is the worst culprit and have a rule that he can only have sugar if he cleans his teeth twice a day so he has to earn the treats or no treats.
Ignore the tantrums.
Also have fissure seal put on it seals the tops of the teeth so they don't erode.
My DS is 40 and still has no fillings.

My DS is 40 and still has no fillings.

🤣🤣🤣

Are you seriously taking the credit for your 40 year old son’s dental health?