Three year olds teeth almost decaying - feel terrible

[Cloudyrainy]

So my son had his first check up at the dentist today, he turned 3 in July.

I was concerned about his teeth as he absolutely HATES me brushing them and he has a lot of issues around food so eats more sugar than he probably should. The dentist has said his teeth are not decaying yet but there are spots they’re concerned about and said that it’s bad considering he is only three.

I feel absolutely terrible, I really do try to brush his teeth as best as I can but it’s obviously not enough. He was also a complete angel for the dentist and he let her rummage about in his mouth and didn’t say A WORD, I feel like she didn’t believe me when I said he clamps his mouth shut and screams when I brush his teeth. She said lots of other children wouldn’t let her in their mouths as well as he did and asked how he doesn’t let me. I didn’t know what to say, she also said if it’s worse at his check up in three months he’d need put under sedation if there was decay?

I just feel absolutely terrible, everything she suggested to try we already do, I’ve tried to make it a game, singing songs, new toothbrush and new toothpaste.

Can I fix this by cutting the sugar and keep trying with the brushing? They weren’t decayed yet but obviously what she said is worrying 😞

I don’t understand why any parents start giving juice? Children don’t need it or want it.

You need to make massive changes, tantrums or not.

All of mine have SN. They don't let your willingly brush them. You have to wrap them up and pin them, i they scream then all the better. Teeth brushing is none negotiable and they do eventually give in.

All the suggestions of stories, singing and wafting about over it does my head in. Just brush their bloody teeth, who's the parent here?

I don’t think this is entirely helpful.

It was actually his dietician that suggested a tiny bit of juice as he went through a stage of total refusal of milk and water when he was 11 months old, which is apparently common in babies with dairy allergy as the formula doesn’t taste as good as non dairy free stuff. Until that point he had never drank juice.

My son (nearly 3) was a nightmare for brushing his teeth. We now have a little freestanding make up mirror at the side of the sink so he can watch his teeth being brushed, he seems to like that he can watch.

Have you tried the strawberry flavoured toothpaste you can get? I’m not sure where you get it from but my friend recommended it when we were struggling.

OP, sorry you are getting a bit of a know it all pile on here. My DD is also 3 with sensory issues and I have tried EVERYTHING. Cartoons. Games. Every single type of toothbrush,
Its not nice but I just wrap her in a towel and pin her to do it. She now most of the time lets me. Persevere, I know you can do it!

Hi I have a little almost 2 year old who hates having his teeth brushed. Clamps his mouth shut and you seem to need at least a third hand to hold him and brush the teeth. Some things that worked a bit for us have been. Wrapping him in a towel straight from the bath with his arms in the towel, like swaddling I guess and brushing then. The other thing was an Oralieve 360 toothbrush. It has bristles all around it, so when he's struggling at least there's more chance of some parts of the brush scraping his teeth.
Also I would be really interested if anyone knows if these strawberry flavoured toothpastes etc are actually ok for teeth? And also cold fruit tea, is that ok for teeth or not does anyone know?

As an anecdote- I was the child who wouldn't drink water. In part because I hated it but it wasn't enforced and I noticed my mother never drinks water more recently. I was allowed squash at bedtime 😲.

I also hated the tooth paste and still do - anything mild I literally gag with so have to find the very strongest flavour- opposite to what many say about flavours. No flavour paste would be a nightmare for me texture wise ! So worth considering all sides.

Thankfully my teeth are ok however it's pure luck !

I went to the age of 22/23 before I forced myself to drink water over a period of a few weeks. It was awful to start with but now I drink 3L a day without a thought.

Fwiw I am autistic- only recently found out very late in life.... still have a lot of food and taste/ texture issues.

Oh bless you, I can tell how worried you are. I’m sure you’ve tried a reward chart, but thought I’d mention one anyway. With regards to not liking plain water, do you think he’d like an Air Up bottle? Expensive but might be worth a try.

It’s really good you got the dental appt OP and your son sounds like he manages well with the dentist looking at his teeth.

As a PP suggested, maybe ask the dentist about the coating they can put on weak enamel.

Good luck with cutting down on sugar in your son’s diet.

Its not a matter of he likes it or not. It is necessary to have good dental hygiene from first tooth and should really made it a routine. There is a lot of things they wont like such as takkng blood test, taking awful medicine but you as a parent has to force it upon if its for their best interest. They are too young to understand so I will try to make it a fun activity and if it really doesnt work, no choice but to force it upon to be honest

Aquafresh has a good children's toothbrushing app, which might be worth a try!

I sympathise - we struggled with teeth brushing.

First tip - did the DENTIST talk to him? I have never ceased to be amazed by how, if a doctor type person tells my DC things, they will somehow listen. It's not that they don't listen to me but ds in particular has SPD and Inattentive ADHD and I think sometimes me talking just goes straight past him. But a calm focused conversation from the doctor can help.

Also agree with others that getting a bit of toothpaste in to start is a good first step. Sometimes with DS, I was just swiping his mouth around very quickly - basically desensitising him a little where I could. DS liked me to do it, quickly and basically, building up slowly. DD was encouraged more by independence (but she is completely NT so it's different for her than for DS I think).

But here's some good news - DS' adult teeth are in good shape and he now proactively brushes a lot. I worry he brushes TOO much and am planning a word with the dentist before his next trip! :)

It's good to find out at this young age when you are still pretty much in control of what your child is doing so you still have time to build good habits.

Role play can be helpful. Get a teddy or a doll with an open mouth and get him to clean their teeth. He can give them a sticker for letting him do it. Then say 'can teddy clean your teeth now?' and you help teddy clean his teeth.

Regarding drinks, the shops have all run out of juice so that's why there's none in the house. You could try flavouring water with fresh mint leaves (DD likes this).

Obviously none of this will be easy but I'd keep putting the effort in to try and undo some of the bad habits he has formed.

If you have any further children, I highly recommend not even letting them realise that sweets and juice exist until they've established good eating habits. It's far easier that way than having to take things away that you've already introduced them to. It's actually quite easy to avoid letting 2 year olds into the secret of all the sweet things on the market. I'd realised that I saw lots of arguments between kids and parents re sweet stuff and screens so gave myself an easy life by just not doing them until DD was a bit older.

Have you tried an electric toothbrush? My 2 year old loves using his electric toothbrush while I’m using mine.

Stop giving him juice. Just stop. Don’t buy juice, don’t give him juice. Just give him water.

my 3 yo would drink juice every day if he could. Right now it’s only at parties. If juice isn’t offered then he only has water as an option….you’re the adult, stop giving juice!

Have you tried those u shaped toothbrush things? Like a retainer that they hold in their mouth while a timer ticks down. They come in all kinds of fun kiddy friendly designs. Then could possibly distract him for those 2 minutes with a fun task or song?

Also, don’t let him have juice or anything sugary for at least 30 minutes before brushing, let saliva do it’s thing first or else you can just brush the sugar into the teeth even more according to a family member who’s a dental nurse

OP i've only read your first reply and the only reason I cane on here was to advise zero consumption of juice. Any kind of juice, diluted, concentrated, squeezed fresh fruit etc. nothing. Unless it's a birthday patty or an occasion a handful of times a year.

When I took my first child for the very first dentist visit (really, really young as an exercise to get used to the dentist), I asked what do we need to do as preventative measures. He said juice is the worst possible culprit so I never gave my children juice when growing up unless it was a special occasion.

Dried fruit is absolutely awful for teeth , especially in children. Sugar and sticky stuff - not good for teeth. We never used raisins etc as treats.

Absolutely no fizzy drinks.

Don't brush teeth immediately after eating fresh fruit.

Have you looked at Foreo children toothbrushes as an alternative? Just to get him used to brushing, then you can move to a conventional toothbrush.

And try a few different types of children toothpaste?

As long as there is a proper brushing motion, the toothpaste doesn't matter so much for fluoride etc. You can decide on the healthiest toothpaste once you have a good routine.

I would also say, no drinks (milk included) in the evening after brushing teeth, apart from plain water.

And plan ahead: once adult teeth come through at the back, ask the dentist if sealing would be an option. Some teeth have more grooves than others and are more susceptible to decay where regular proper brushing is not guaranteed (with an 8-10 year old you can never be absolutely certain). However this is a procedure that needs to be done very well, otherwise you end up with more problems than prevention.

Perhaps you could encourage drinking water by using ice cubes, fun glasses or special straws.

My daughter was similar with only really drinking squash and even then barely any of that (maybe 1 cup a day despite me regularly offering it). Then one day, age 6, she asked for water and hasn’t had squash since.

The fact he happily
Let the dentist looked at his teeth /cleaned them means you can do it as well

And he is playing you and dad up

Obv nicer to brush happily but if he doesn't then it's a non negotiable activity

If you need to pin him down - then standing or sitting - have back to your stomach. Arm round his chest and pin arms down and brush his teeth

Remove the sugar from his diet and you will get rid of this issue.

He is three. You are in charge. Good luck and don't tolerate any more nonsense

We used an free app called Pokémon smile. Completely transformed the issue of toothbrushing for us. LO went from fighting every time to begging to brush their teeth.

Also suggest moving to an electric toothbrush as then whatever time is spent brushing is likely to be more effective.

Oh and Sainsburys do a berry children's toothpaste which is nice. I hate mint!

I really feel for you. My youngest hates having his teeth brushed so I have to pin him down every morning and night. I think I’m going to start doing it after lunch at weekends too to try to get a bit more done.

On the water issue, we had success by switching to metal drinks bottles. Which makes sense because water tastes awful when you drink from plastic!

Was that oat milk sweetened? If so that’s probably what caused it - not the other stuff. Our dentist said sweetened plant milks in a bottle are as bad as juice