Three year olds teeth almost decaying - feel terrible

[Cloudyrainy]

So my son had his first check up at the dentist today, he turned 3 in July.

I was concerned about his teeth as he absolutely HATES me brushing them and he has a lot of issues around food so eats more sugar than he probably should. The dentist has said his teeth are not decaying yet but there are spots they’re concerned about and said that it’s bad considering he is only three.

I feel absolutely terrible, I really do try to brush his teeth as best as I can but it’s obviously not enough. He was also a complete angel for the dentist and he let her rummage about in his mouth and didn’t say A WORD, I feel like she didn’t believe me when I said he clamps his mouth shut and screams when I brush his teeth. She said lots of other children wouldn’t let her in their mouths as well as he did and asked how he doesn’t let me. I didn’t know what to say, she also said if it’s worse at his check up in three months he’d need put under sedation if there was decay?

I just feel absolutely terrible, everything she suggested to try we already do, I’ve tried to make it a game, singing songs, new toothbrush and new toothpaste.

Can I fix this by cutting the sugar and keep trying with the brushing? They weren’t decayed yet but obviously what she said is worrying 😞

In case it is sensory related try different flavours of toothpaste other than mint - strawberry, tutti frutti, flavourless etc to see if any are better tolerated. Look online if there’s none in the supermarket, but make sure it still has the right amount of fluorine in it for their age. You could also see if he tolerates an electric toothbrush better or use something like a Dr Barnum brush that brushes three sides of the tooth at once so you can get more brushing done when a child is uncooperative.

It may be sensory issues that are effecting what can be eaten and drunk too. If it is then your experience of both toothbrushing and feeding your child will be different to many people’s. You can only do what you can do. Do try and change things for the better but trust your instincts and don’t beat yourself up if it really doesn’t work. Drinking sugary drinks is better than not drinking at all. Eating is better than not eating and any sort of brushing is better than not brushing. Hopefully tolerance of teethbrushing will improve with time.

You're going to have to put your foot down and give him straight water to drink.

Also, can you get him to slosh water around his mouth and spit it out after every meal and snack? He might like the spitting.

Now you’ve explained that you’re ND and so might be your child, that explains a lot.

Please ignore the playground bullies telling you to dehydrate your child in the hope that he’ll be desperate enough to drink water - he probably won’t. His safe foods don’t sound that bad either.

Looking for a non-minty toothpaste is a good idea too. When I discovered my son could tolerate a strawberry toothpaste, I panic bought about eight tubes. Tooth brushing had been hell up to that point 😅

It's a huge pity the dietician suggested juice. Children can get fluid into them from soup and broth, veg like cucumber, and tomatoes. Unsweetened nut and grain milks also contain water.

My autistic child has never eaten soup, or broth, or tomatoes, or cucumber. What then?

I think they are gimmicky but in your situation might work, have you tried an air up bottle? You fill it with water but the scent things persuade DC they are drinking something flavoured.
I'm not going to suggest anything else because your child has other things going on and what has worked for us is low sugar, plain drinks water/milk and mandatory toothbrushing from day one isn't likely to work for yours now.
DS does like a toothbrush timer song and also being allowed to brush himself after we have brushed as 'a checker'

He might also think it's cool to put an ice cube into the water cup or a frozen raspberry etc, if he's allowed to do it himself! Or he can choose the cup and the fancy straw.

By the way, you have probably not let him down on the tooth brushing at all! You have probably done it just fine and the damage is from the juice. I know you'll make sure it always happens from here. So please, don't feel guilty anymore. x

A child of three cannot spit effectively or rinse effectively until around the age of 8.

The main problem is not teeth brushing , so long as you can get some fluoride containing toothpaste in a couple of times a day it's fine. Oranurse is non foaming , non flavoured tooth paste and three headed toothbrushes like this https://www.amazon.co.uk/Toothbrush-Bristle-Complete-Gum-Care-Cleaning/dp/B0B5H39NNS/ref=sr_1_3_sspa?keywords=3+sided+toothbrush&qid=1699372547&sr=8-3-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1 mean you get more tooth cleaned in a shorter time.

However you can brush 27 times a day but if a child is eating or drinking something sugary multiple times a day they will still get decay.

You need to try to limit anything containing sugar to no more than 3/4 times a day. What he eats or drinks at meal times is not a problem. It could be nothing but sugar , it wouldn't be good for general health but wouldn't cause problems for teeth.

However it takes an hour for the acid to stop attacking teeth even if they only have a sip or bite of something and even if they brush teeth afterwards. Therefore it's what they eat or drink in between meals that's the problem.

Not just sweets but fruit juice, yoghurts , dried fruit , plain biscuits , diluted juice , smoothies all of these are as bad as sweets .

Replacement milks such as soya , oat etc are normally sweetened and just as bad as juice for teeth.

Medicines such as movicol and other constipation medicines are also not good for teeth as many are sweetened or sugar based.

Having something sweet to eat or drink just before bed time , even if teeth are brushed afterwards , is particularly bad because the decreased saliva at night means the acid is attacking teeth overnight.

Water , animal milk is fine in between meals , sugared drinks (milk or otherwise ) are fine with meals .

If diet is not changed then the same problem that has happened with baby teeth will happen with adult teeth. So it's good you can change things now , whilst he is young.

Good Advice there.
We had similar battles because toothbrushing happens at the two most stressful times of the day, when we are tired and time-poor.

It's been battle time up till now. You have to find ways to unravel that step by step.

Here's some things that worked for us when they were little.
Allowing more time for the procedure to take some of that stress out of it, esp in the mornings,
getting really organised in advance for the mornings so that its easier for them to take their time with it,

Doing teeth well before bedtime so bedtimes are less fraught.
make it part of the routine to all brush your teeth together,
make it a competition with non edible prizes.
In the evening, sticking in the bath with toys, an audio story or music they liked, to distract, playing and take some of the focus off the whole tooth brushing thing
letting them brush their teeth on their own and then trying "Ooh you missed a bit!" but keeping the whole thing calm (even if its very trying)

practicing slooching with water after eating.

You'll probably find a way of making it more palatable for them, keep plugging away at it. Best of luck

Any toothpaste , so long as it has fluoride in it , is fine.

Fruit tea is both highly acidic and quite often quite sugary . So ok with a meal but not inbetween and especially not at bedtime.

This was probably the problem. Oat milk is high in sugars and in a bottle will cause bottle caries which is decay on the front teeth.

Agree. Stop it asap. I have a friend who gave diluted juice too much sugar at 5 she had ti be put under and all her teeth pulled. She was then teased mercilessly at school as it was years before she had all her teeth. There are certain things as parents we have to do for the sake of our kids health. This is one of them. He can hate it or love it but it has to be done

Lots of flavoured toothpastes on amazon

We have punch and Judy thi mint but know they do other flavours

Strawberry or bubble gum

amzn.eu/d/h5dEpeu

Also I would be really interested if anyone knows if these strawberry flavoured toothpastes etc are actually ok for teeth?

@Violet1988 This is the one we use - by Aquafresh

Do you have fluoride in the water where you live? This makes a huge difference, if your tap water is fluoridated it protects the children’s teeth.

What about air up?
You put pods in them that release a scent so it tricks your brain into thinking you're drinking juice but you're only in fact drinking water.
Have a google or search on here, lots of info.

There are two oat milks recommended for young children as they have the required fat and calories. They are oatly Batista and alpro growing up oat milk. Both have less sugar per 100ml than milk.
It is really difficult to find products that replicate the health benefits of milk for those children are unable to drink milk not to mention so expensive at £2.10 a litre compared to milk of 64p a litre for whole milk.

Please be a little more compassionate before throwing out how awful oat milk is and switch then to milk. My daughter can't tolerate a piece of milk biscuit the size of a grain of rice more than once a week. I'm in a similar situation to the OP only my daughters teeth problems are caused by a health conditions. Teeth are important but so is nutrition and for allergy children oat milk can be crucial.

The problem is the sugar in animal milks (lactulose) does not cause decay , whereas the sugar in plant milks (maltose) does. Unfortunately having it in a bottle means that the milk is sitting on the front teeth and causes bottle caries (decay on front teeth).

It's why not having plant based milks in bottles once child is old enough and drinking out of a sippy cup is important and not drinking it in between meals is also important. It's heart breaking when you are removing teeth from an 18 month old who has been drinking soya milk in a bottle.

Drinking anything sugary is fine with a meal but unfortunately sugary drinks in a bottle are a disaster for teeth, particularly just before bed .

Also alpro growing up milk has cane sugar and fructose added , so again the caveat about drinking it in a bottle , and drinking close to bed time is important.
With a meal and in a cup not so much of a problem .

Sorry autocorrect mistake sugar in animal milk is lactose which does not cause decay and the fats and ph actually help protect teeth from decay. So eating cheese after something sweet helps neutralise the acid. Not helpful if you are lactose intolerant or dairy free for other reasons.

I am aware of this. My dentist said he wouldn't recommend drinking milk from a bottle either but he was happy for my daughter to keep drinking her oat milk as the nutritional benefits trump teeth.
I'm not saying oat milk is amazing for teeth I'm just saying some parents don't have the luxury of milk and are doing are best to balance so many things that their children need.

So I thought that sugar free drinks meant no cavities. Not so! What they take out in sugar they replace with acid. Acid is worse for the enamel on teeth than sugar. So this sugar free drinks can actually be worse than their full sugar alternatives, especially if the sugar free label encourages more regular use.

If he really won't drink water, could you keep drinks to meal times when his teeth will be exposed to the starch/sugar/acid in the meal anyway? That's what my dentist says about sweets, is if you have to have something sweet have it with the meal so the teeth are dealing with less exposures. It's also why it's better to eat leas frequently and constant grazing can be terrible for the teeth, even of healthy foods, similar to the drinks because it's frequent exposure and softening of the dents enamel

Between the sugar free lie and our snack obsession, as well as the lack of dental care, I'm not surprised dental surgery is on the Rise for kids. It's really sad though, that YouTube about it was really upsetting (and also a good reminder about why it's so important to keep vigilant for misinformation when it comes to our kids health).

Sugar free does not necessarily mean no sugars. It can mean a variety of things depending on the product, so you need to read the label very carefully.

Some people might disagree but sometimes you have to force them to brush their teeth I still have to do that with my son and he's five.
I'd recommend just drinking milk and water. Cut down on sweets I find making warm milk into a dessert helps with stopping them asking for a sweet pudding