At what age and how did you explain to your kids where babies come from?

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DD has just turned 7. She's known for years how babies develop once they are in utero and how they are born and she's known about periods but just in the simplest terms.

I've been expecting DD to ask me more questions but it still blind sided me a bit when she wanted to know how exactly babies are made and how we can control the process. Obviously it was after a long day on a weekday when we were already super late for bed. I tried to go from the general to the specific (or rather from easy to explain eg it needs a fertilised eggs to the difficult one of how does sperm get into your body to fertilise the egg) to make sure I'm not explaining more than she wants to know but she definitely wanted to know the specifics. So I went into the specifics of how humans have sex as well but I'm not sure I did a great job of it and I think she might be even more confused now. I told her I'll get a book and we'll talk about it again.

I don't think I handled it brilliantly. I'm also not sure if she isn't too young. I think I was a similar age or maybe slightly younger when my mum explained it to me (and probably did a much better job) but I'm sure dh will think she is too young. He won't be thrilled we has this conversation. I did say (not entirely truthfully) that this is something that only adults can do.

I'm also a bit worried that she'll talk about it at school and the other parents won't like it. But isn't age 7 a normal age to want to know more? And the advice always seems to be to honestly answer their questions in an age appropriate way but I guess my question is what is an age appropriate way.

Anyway, I'm very curious how other parents have handled these questions and how old your child was. I wish I'd asked yesterday. I'd also be very grateful for any book recommendations.

Thank you!!

Just bought a book called "let's talk about where babies come from" by Robie Haris, which seems to have good reviews though DD might be slightly too young for it. Has anyone read it? Does it explain everything in a clear and simple way?

Just answer questions truthfully and simply.

Yes I think they were about 7 too. The advice is that it isn’t one big chat but lots of little conversations.

About age 4.
The explanation at that age was simple, although I used correct anatomical names, of course.
As they got older they asked more questions. I always gave them answers as and when they asked.

I think it's probably a good idea to tell small children that sex is for grown ups.
They'll find out soon enough that teenagers do it!

Yes, I know but what does simple mean?

I think the questions started at 3 or 4, and I answered truthfully every time

I think as soon as a child can speak and understand and ask about such things, really. I was about four and I had a book with diagrams when I was about five.

I can't remember what age DC was when I started to talk about sex, probably a bit here and there, but I did buy a book called So That's What it's All About (or something similar) when DC was 7. It doesn't go into sex much, more about sperm, eggs, etc..

Simple means (in my family) age approx 2-4 we talked about seeds and eggs "mummy's have eggs daddies have seeds called sperm and when they have sex which is something very special that only grown ups do, if they choose to they can make a baby. If they want to have sex just for fun, the daddy wears a condom, which looks like a little hat that covers their penis/willy to stop the seed getting to the egg"

Age 4 my DD asked and I told her.

A book called where willie went

If a woman and a man love each other very much they put their vagina and penis together and the sperm go wheeee up the spout into the vagina and the eggs come wheeee to meet the sperm and they join together and grow into a baby.

🤣 it really isn't easy to explain at all!!

I remember I tried hard to avoid the sexist "the man puts his penis inside the woman's vagina" nonsense. Made sure the woman was active in my description! 😆

At age 7 it progressed to reading a book together then leaving it with them and letting them know we r there if they have any questions. They way I see it, they are like sponges till they r ten
, once they r teenagers the narrative is muddied by friends/social media, so this is a great age to teach them about the science of sex but also feelings that go with it.

It was a bit embarrassing at first, but then it now feels nice that my children can just ask about it.
Just have a go, it sounds like you have already made a fab start

The problem with this is that they need to be able to talk about it with you, this approach just avoids/shuts down communication and can end up perpetuating the idea that sex is shame-filled, whereas if you talk about it together but highlight its special/important, they respect it and understand it...
In my opinion.

DD is just shy of 4yo and we have just told her we are expecting another! She has a lot of questions and I have told the truth to a degree but left out the details which in my opinion she doesn't need to know yet!

I think DS knew the basics from toddlerhood — he was glued to me, and would have seen me changing tampons, so it probably grew out of that. I don’t think it’s at all hard to explain. It’s way easier to explain how babies are made than how electricity works, or how the economy works.

I’ve always gone with the approach of answering questions honestly when they come up. Except my DC have never asked exactly HOW the sperm from daddy reaches the egg from mummy so I think I am just going to have to force that knowledge on them!

This is what I pretty much said but not so eloquently. I think the wheeees really make all the difference!! :#)

Just bought another book called mummy laid an egg.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm glad to hear that 7 isn't too young to start talking about sex and I'm also glad now that I have laid the foundation already by talking to her about the other stuff like periods and how babies develop and pregnancy progresses. I still think dh will be upset and I really hope that if she talks about it in school the other parents won't be upset. I don't think she will but I don't want to tell her not to and start introducing any notion of secrecy around this topic.

Yes, I know it's an ongoing conversation. I remember my mum asking me every year or so if I knew where babies come from and I remember distinctly by age 16 not wanting to hear about it from her anymore..

I think 13. If your child told my child about sex at 7 I'd go ballistic! Children don't need to know about that kind of stuff at such a young age.

I was in the cheese aisle at Tesco 😂 DS1 was 3. He presented a list of fairly specific questions, which I answered literally. He asked a few follow-up questions over the next couple of days and didn't seem fazed by any of it.

Out of interest - what would you say if your child (pre 13) asked you how babies were made?

Don't know when my parents told me but apparently I embarrassed them enormously age 4 in the Natural History Museum by having a good look at the human body exhibits and loudly declaring 'so that's how it's done!'

The earlier they know the more matter of fact they are, you just learn it and move on to something more interesting like dinosaurs.

When everyone else discovered age 10 at school I thought they were weird for being obsessed with it.

My kids never asked, they were taught at school aged 9. I know none of their friends knew ahead of the lessons either. I was taught by school too. I would have told them if they had asked but they simply weren't curious about babies

You’d have died of the vapours if your child was in my child’s primary school class, then. I think he told everyone about a fortnight into Reception.

4 ish, for both of ours. Happened to be in a brilliant children's museum with a display on conception, pregnancy and birth so talked the older one through the exhibits. Told the younger one in simple terms at a similar age when she started asking questions. Formal sex ed happens in state school at 9/10, and there will be plenty of talk in the playground before that, so we definitely wanted our 2 to hear the truth from us whenever they started asking questions. Definitely repeated ourselves and gave more age appropriate detail over the years.