At what age and how did you explain to your kids where babies come from?

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DD has just turned 7. She's known for years how babies develop once they are in utero and how they are born and she's known about periods but just in the simplest terms.

I've been expecting DD to ask me more questions but it still blind sided me a bit when she wanted to know how exactly babies are made and how we can control the process. Obviously it was after a long day on a weekday when we were already super late for bed. I tried to go from the general to the specific (or rather from easy to explain eg it needs a fertilised eggs to the difficult one of how does sperm get into your body to fertilise the egg) to make sure I'm not explaining more than she wants to know but she definitely wanted to know the specifics. So I went into the specifics of how humans have sex as well but I'm not sure I did a great job of it and I think she might be even more confused now. I told her I'll get a book and we'll talk about it again.

I don't think I handled it brilliantly. I'm also not sure if she isn't too young. I think I was a similar age or maybe slightly younger when my mum explained it to me (and probably did a much better job) but I'm sure dh will think she is too young. He won't be thrilled we has this conversation. I did say (not entirely truthfully) that this is something that only adults can do.

I'm also a bit worried that she'll talk about it at school and the other parents won't like it. But isn't age 7 a normal age to want to know more? And the advice always seems to be to honestly answer their questions in an age appropriate way but I guess my question is what is an age appropriate way.

Anyway, I'm very curious how other parents have handled these questions and how old your child was. I wish I'd asked yesterday. I'd also be very grateful for any book recommendations.

Thank you!!

Also, if someone decides not to have the talk until age 12 or 13, what you are really choosing is that your kids will learn from a classmate rather than from you. Or possibly that another child will show them porn before they even know what sex is.

It's a pity your children are learning from you that talking about sex is disgusting.
Children need this information from a very young age and they learn about it at school anyway. Did you even know that it's on the curriculum?
I am probably older than most of you on this thread and even we were taught about sex at school at age eleven - way back in the 60s.
I'm glad it's taught in primary school now.

I looked a lot for books and was disappointed by lots of the offerings which had messages of shame, or inaccurate drawings of the vulva which omitted the clitoris. I eventually bought:

• What’s down there, by Alex Waldron
• How do you make a baby by Anna Fiske
• and I bought an anatomical poster of the female reproductive system with the clitoris and nerves accurately depicted
• https://shop.lww.com/The-Female-Reproductive-System-Anatomical-Chart/p/9781975180218

@TheShellBeach yes and that's why my children are pulled out of those classes. I don't need strangers to teach my children about periods, puberty and sex. I'm more than capable of teaching them myself at an age I think is appropriate. It's a culture thing our kids have morals and self respect and aren't sleeping around at 12.

I think them not asking questions highlights that they’re not comfortable doing so. Which is a shame. Most kids are inquisitive. I’ve always answered my kids in age appropriate language.

I also think that is quite detrimental that you only explained periods “when they’ve started”. That must be scary for them if they aren’t prepared. I think it is disgusting 🤢 not to educate your kids on their own bodies.

It isn’t taking away innocence to explain natural biological matters. Your views are extremely old-fashioned.

My DDs knew from the age of about 4. We had a lovely Swedish cartoon story book called Our New Baby. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Our-New-Baby-Picture-Children/dp/081205458X

It focuses on relationships and family life and the info about sex is just a natural part of that.

There gonna get it at school before then you know. And they're sure as hell gonna be talking about it before then. Not sure of you have girls or boys but periods will start before then, and I presume wet dreams. A boy might tell her before then that she's made his willy hard. Isn't it better they're prepared?

Absolutely this.
I was told a garbled version of what sex was when I was eight (in the playground at school) and it frightened me, to be honest.
My mother was embarrassed when I asked her.
I honestly had to wait until I was eleven before I got some actual facts.
That was far too late.

At 7 mine did ask how her cousin was born since her Mum and Dad didn't love each other (she was aware that her Uncle and her cousins mum had never been together) so I had to tell her about sex being fun and how sometimes it results in a baby when it's not expected... so be cautious with the Mummy and Daddy living each other as they probably know children without the Mummy and Daddy in the same house. She also asked about same sex families

You're doing your children a great disservice.
Teaching children about sex at a young age doesn't give them loose morals.
Whatever makes you think that?

So if your kid comes home and says, after school, omg Mom did you actually let Daddy put his penis in your vagina to make me? that you'd like?

I don't need strangers to teach my children about periods, puberty and sex.

But you do.
You've already said that you won't tell them yourself.
Are you therefore happy with them "learning" about sex in the playground, and getting a load of misinformation?

I bought the Usborne books "what's happening to me?" which come in a girl and boy version to explain puberty. Primary school kids respond fine to a scientific explanation and don't have the giggles and sniggers like older kids. My kids has sex ed at school in year 5 and I wasn't going to leave it until then since it's not unusual for girls in year 5 to start their periods these days. By then the sex is embarrassing sort of attitude had started so I was glad that we'd got those talks out of the way when they were younger.

My 5 year old son helpfully told the Tesco cashier where the tampons he'd just scanned goes in my body which was a parenting highlight for me.

This topic always makes me think of the movie Carrie and how freaked out she was when she gets her first period and has no clue what's going on.

My friend had a baby at 12. Not all kids have sex early, I was 17 but there a lot that do.

My neices were 8 and 9 when they started their periods.

I was never given a talk about anything as a child or teen and the 'finding it out for myself' experience was stressful. I didn't tell my mum for 2 months that I'd started my periods because I didn't feel like I could go to her with it, or anything like that actually, the only reason I did was because I had no pads and I didnt know what to do. I told her through a closed door at 7 am before school one morning. She had a pack of pads stashed away in a cupboard but nothing else was ever mentioned. I think if she had actually talked to me a lot of things from then on could have been quite different.

We have a responsibility to our kids to teach them in a calm and respectful way about things that will affect them in life. Sex and periods will absolutely affect them and they have a right to know about them and that they can turn to their parents with questions or problems.

The comments on here are wild and just shows how different Mumsnet is to my reality at least where I live. Telling a 4 year of about sex would be considered extremely weird bordering on pedo where I'm from.

I think 7 might be a little too young to. I didn't know about it till around 9/10. I mean is it necessary to know so early? What's the rush?

Ds was about 6,we were on holiday just getting an Ice cream and he said very loudly 'look that lady has a baby in her,she must have had a willy with a seed in her too!' We had a conversation about not shouting it about and also not pointing at pregnant women in case they're not!! Luckily thus lady had a toddler with her and just laughed although her dh looked a little uncomfortable!

This is the book I had when I was about 7/8 (early 90s)! It is indeed really good.

My Dd is 3.5. We talk about periods and tampons (she’d often be in a bathroom with me). Now that I am pregnant she asked me about the ‘baby in my tummy’, I say it’s in my ‘womb in my tummy’. We’ve used a library book about different families to explain that sometimes babies are made by mummies and dads to ‘have sex. (When she’s asked I’ve said that usually means a ‘Penis in vagina’) She responds to it as if we are talking about any other body part! And I’ve explained that sometimes Babies are fostered or adopted. Or have two mummies or daddies. And she’s fine with it! (though she did get upset when I said no to swapping her new baby brother. For a friends new baby girl. As she wanted a sister 😂)

I can’t imagine not telling the truth. I stated my periods at 9 and will still never forget when parents complained that the year was “too young” to have Sanitary bins in the bathrooms and so those of us that had periods had to ask to leave the room and use old classes loos on the corridor. It was horrid and the implication was that we were somehow “shaming” others or going to lead them “to do wrong”, for something biological we had no influence over.

As someone that has worked in child protection. It’s never anything but protective to teach children correctly to talk about sex and body parts.

Beween 2 and 5. Certainly both knew before they went to school. As PP said just answer questions as they come up. I can't remember ever not knowing and I think my DCs are the same.

Mummy Laid an Egg is a great book, there is a whole video of someone reading it on Youtube if you want to see what it says. Mine had that from 4 or 5 years old. Sex is just something they have always known about. Like a bodily function.

As I was raised in a strict Catholic household where we didn't even talk about periods despite being female and knowing at some stage we would start our periods. I started before my Mum told me about them. Luckily for me some of my friends had already started and that is where I got my information from so I didn't think I was bleeding for no reason.

I decided that my children would know about it all in a matter of fact way the same as we name body parts like a nose or a toe. I have 2 sons. Ds was about 9 when we were in a train station with an advert saying what do you call someone who has an abortion? Mother, daughter, sister, friend. He asked what an abortion was. I told him. I answer his questions because if I don't he would either ask his friends or he would google.

Every year we have around 2 girls who start their periods in year 4 in a 90 year group. In year 5 of primary they definitely cover hygiene amd changes to the body and year 6 they cover sex. You can see the vidoes ahead of time as they usually invite parents in to watch it first. Even if your child is pulled out of that lesson, everyone else knows about it and children talk to each other.

Literally how difficult is this? Eggs and sperm, penises and vaginas done. You can dress it up with when two people are very in love or this only should happen after marriage or whatever your values require but how hard is it to say to a small child you know how you have a kiki/penis/tinky and mummy doesn't? Well grown ups sometimes have sex and the penis goes inside the mummy and releases a seed and mummies have eggs and if the seed and the egg meet then it can start a baby?

I honestly marvel not at how parents manage to teach these facts but how they avoid them! For example my son will have been in the bathroom jabbering on whilst I was changing sanitary products and would, of course, have asked about it to which I would, to my mind at least obviously have answered with facts.

That basic factual response all the way along means the conversation naturally deepens and expands according to age and then of course discussions about eg. contraception, consent, emotional readiness etc can flow easily on.

People must manage to keep way bigger separation and fear between them and their offspring than I managed to keep conversations like this suppressed for so llong.

@Leah5678 same here 🤢 it's actually quite disturbing to read that folks are talking about sex to kids as young as 3/4. Don't understand why we are wanting children to grow up so quick and be curious. Leave them be kids and innocent.

Why do you see innocence and the facts of how life reproduces as mutually exclusive?

Males and females, be they monkeys or humans or parts of plants, have to come together to produce life. It's hardly pornographic or innocence stealing to state this surely?