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Original poster

Mum rude about gifts for four year old…

419 replies

Okaaaay · 12/10/2023 22:31

I’ll caveat by saying I don’t like buying kids tatt and have been known to put funky socks in a party bag (along with sweets and other stuff). So maybe I’m getting this very wrong…

My DC was invited to a four year old girl’s party at a soft play. I gifted a Rachel Elin tin (bright, pink girly colours with my treasures or something written on it) and a kids rainbow Joules drawstring gym bag. My other DC would have loved this sort of thing when they were 4.

The recipient's Mum came up to me at nursery this aft and said ‘thanks for the gifts for xxx, they were a bit ‘out there’ (with hand gesture) for her but we’ll make use’. I was so stunned I just nodded and smiled.

So clearly, she was rude, but were my gifts super weird?

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CherryMaDeara · 13/10/2023 15:20

Super lovely, thank you! Though agree, they probably don’t go together that well. The total cost was £13 which is about what I gift for parties which are at a venue (I always bulk buy gifts in sales and got the bag for £5 and the tin for £8).

Lovely gifts, lovely bargain price. I also have a shelf for presents.

Is it possible she tried to exchange them and was told she can't because as well as not having a receipt, the items were in sale?

She sounds grabby.

saveforthat · 13/10/2023 15:24

Fatcat00 · 13/10/2023 15:12

What do you spend? 80 pence?

Show quote history

Probably £5-10.

EnfysPreseli · 13/10/2023 15:34

I'll be honest. The bag is fine, but I can see that in combination with the tin the gift could be seen as over-the-top girly. Toys and clothing have become so gendered it can be challenging finding stuff that is less stereotyped. I would have shrugged my shoulders if any of my daughters had received stuff like this at 4. Not my, or their, kind of thing at that stage (peer pressure to conform seemed to come later), but I certainly wouldn't have been rude about it.

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StarlightLime · 13/10/2023 15:40

EnfysPreseli · 13/10/2023 15:34

I'll be honest. The bag is fine, but I can see that in combination with the tin the gift could be seen as over-the-top girly. Toys and clothing have become so gendered it can be challenging finding stuff that is less stereotyped. I would have shrugged my shoulders if any of my daughters had received stuff like this at 4. Not my, or their, kind of thing at that stage (peer pressure to conform seemed to come later), but I certainly wouldn't have been rude about it.

She's a four year old girl, though. I'll bet there was a fair amount of sparkly tat amongst her gifts, especially from nursery friends whose parents don't even know her.
Maybe she went round the parents denouncing all of it? 😂

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 13/10/2023 15:54

Very rude and entitled and you’ll know not to buy again! I was always told never to say I didn’t like a birthday gift (or any other) just smile and say thanks!

Agreed with others, bet the mum wanted money.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 13/10/2023 15:58

They’re lovely gifts by the way.

WoollyBat · 13/10/2023 16:10

I used to balk at the gendered tat. I'd only do super pink and girly for girls who I knew actively liked and wanted it. If in doubt I usually went for art and craft materials. They get used up so are not adding to a tat pile, and most kids use and like them.

I also tried to do similar with party bags and put in pens, fun erasers, stickers, mini books etc rather than plastic toy tat. If any other parents thought I was weird I don't care - kids generally liked them.

I am glad we're past that stage though. Exhausting.

catmothertes1 · 13/10/2023 16:12

Loubelle70 · 12/10/2023 22:36

I love them!! Im a big kid and would love those 🤣. The mum is a brat

I'm 61 and I'd love them too!

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 13/10/2023 16:13

WoollyBat · 13/10/2023 16:10

I used to balk at the gendered tat. I'd only do super pink and girly for girls who I knew actively liked and wanted it. If in doubt I usually went for art and craft materials. They get used up so are not adding to a tat pile, and most kids use and like them.

I also tried to do similar with party bags and put in pens, fun erasers, stickers, mini books etc rather than plastic toy tat. If any other parents thought I was weird I don't care - kids generally liked them.

I am glad we're past that stage though. Exhausting.

My Granddaughter and her friends are all very much into Princesses and pink.

Moonlightdust · 13/10/2023 16:13

Absolutely lovely and practical gifts. My DD would have liked both aged 4. Utterly rude woman. I would never dream to comment on a gift from someone (other than maybe my husband! lol)

BernadettesToothbrush · 13/10/2023 16:16

@Itsbritneybitch22 I think I will try that gift next time DD has a party invite!!

Favouritefruits · 13/10/2023 16:20

Perfectly normal nice gifts for a child to receive, it’s the mum that’s strange! My son revived a 2000 piece jigsaw that I thought was a bit strange for a four year old but no way did I say anything to the parents.

Sausage1989 · 13/10/2023 16:28

Those gifts were lovely and you're very generous. She was very rude.

Tryingmybestadhd · 13/10/2023 16:41

Is it possible she thought they were a bit to much for party gifts ? And tat what she meant , although imo she shouldn’t say anything either way

WonderingWanda · 13/10/2023 16:51

I think she was very rude. There is nothing wrong with your gifts. Although I think depending on the maturity of the 4 year old they might get a mixed reaction. At that age mine enjoyed things to do and might have been a bit dismissive of your gifts. I would have been appreciative of your generosity and practicality.

SaffronSpice · 13/10/2023 16:54

We used to get masses of craft kits and they were a pain. Generally required a lot of supervision/support to produce something that wasn’t very interesting. And the boxes took up masses of room. The tin would be perfect for holding the contents of good dozen bead kits in various guises and save hugely on space compared to the excess packaging involved in making a couple of dozen beads and a bit of elastic look interesting.

LanaL · 13/10/2023 17:00

They’re lovely and you spent more than I would! I would say she’s very rude and ungrateful and wouldn’t buy such a nice gift again x

LondonLass91 · 13/10/2023 17:01

They're great gifts! What a rude and entitled woman. Blank her next time.

Mistressanne · 13/10/2023 17:12

Favouritefruits · 13/10/2023 16:20

Perfectly normal nice gifts for a child to receive, it’s the mum that’s strange! My son revived a 2000 piece jigsaw that I thought was a bit strange for a four year old but no way did I say anything to the parents.

I hope he completed it😂

Sparkleshine21 · 13/10/2023 17:19

Wtaf they are beautiful gifts! I’d be very happy if my daughter received them. How bloody ungrateful

Illbebythesea · 13/10/2023 17:20

I really like them both and she was a rude cow. I bet her house is all grey.

Lateatnight78 · 13/10/2023 17:24

@Frozenone that's terrible!! I don't know how some people have the gall ! How rude!

@Okaaaay the gifts you gave were lovely. She's rude!

WeightoftheWorld · 13/10/2023 17:28

My DD is 5 and would have loved those gifts for her 3rd, 4th or 5th birthdays for sure. That woman sounds very strange and very rude!

Beautiful3 · 13/10/2023 17:40

They look fab. Take no notice.

jenpil · 13/10/2023 17:46

Bugger her. Next time, just get the kids some tat....

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