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Original poster

Mum rude about gifts for four year old…

419 replies

Okaaaay · 12/10/2023 22:31

I’ll caveat by saying I don’t like buying kids tatt and have been known to put funky socks in a party bag (along with sweets and other stuff). So maybe I’m getting this very wrong…

My DC was invited to a four year old girl’s party at a soft play. I gifted a Rachel Elin tin (bright, pink girly colours with my treasures or something written on it) and a kids rainbow Joules drawstring gym bag. My other DC would have loved this sort of thing when they were 4.

The recipient's Mum came up to me at nursery this aft and said ‘thanks for the gifts for xxx, they were a bit ‘out there’ (with hand gesture) for her but we’ll make use’. I was so stunned I just nodded and smiled.

So clearly, she was rude, but were my gifts super weird?

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Padz · 13/10/2023 13:42

So rude and unnecessary.
This is the type of thing I gift because I’d love my kids to receive them 😂
My kids may disagree and want a nerf gun though……perhaps that’s what she had in mind 😂

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 13/10/2023 13:43

MrsMiddleMother · 13/10/2023 13:28

Honestly I don't think she was rude and I'd be a bit miffed if my dc was gifted a gym bag 🤔 the tin is lovely, I would have put some hair accessories or sweets inside it and gifted that. The bag is weird.

She was rude. It is polite to just say thank you even if you didn't like the gift, even if you were miffed. Manners?

onetwothreeee · 13/10/2023 13:44

These are gorgeous gifts.

How very rude of her.

My children would love those and so much better than plastic tat

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YouOKHun · 13/10/2023 13:46

MrsMiddleMother · 13/10/2023 13:28

Honestly I don't think she was rude and I'd be a bit miffed if my dc was gifted a gym bag 🤔 the tin is lovely, I would have put some hair accessories or sweets inside it and gifted that. The bag is weird.

It’s very bad mannered to criticise a gift full stop.

Nanny0gg · 13/10/2023 13:49

Okaaaay · 12/10/2023 23:18

@Mummumgem yes we use a similar one for gymnastics and dancing.

@PrueLeith yes my children mostly receive craft stuff and toys to be fair. I find this a bit overwhelming though as there is so much of it. Which is probably why I go for slightly off beat practical stuff. Not ideal though if the children don’t like it.

My DGD (and her mum) would be very pleased with both of those

MrsRonaldWeasley · 13/10/2023 13:50

What is wrong with some people!? These are lovely gifts to give OP and would be equally lovely to receive. My DDs would have loved these when they were that age (and as a mum I would have loved them receiving something that wasn’t plastic tat!) The mum was extremely rude!

Robinni · 13/10/2023 13:50

Oh my gosh! What wonderful gifts, I would have loved my DD to have received these.

I suspect she meant they were practical rather than toys. But how rude of her.

Fantastic, beautiful, thoughtful gifts and generous too, about £20-25 worth at full price!!

Sorry you had this bad experience, she was in the wrong.

Please come to my kids parties in future with lovely gifts!! 😆

diddl · 13/10/2023 13:51

I think she was very rude.

I also think that there is a middle ground between useful & tat!

Especially for a 4yr old!

StarlightLime · 13/10/2023 13:52

YouOKHun · 13/10/2023 13:46

It’s very bad mannered to criticise a gift full stop.

Show quote history

"Miffed" at a gift your 4 year old received 🤯.

Howdidtheydothat · 13/10/2023 13:52

They are lovely and girlie. Maybe the party girl isn’t very girlie or mum is anti girlie gifts. 🤷‍♀️ It doesn’t matter because YANBU, she was incredibly rude and a bit “out there” We all receive gifts that we wouldn’t choose to buy ourselves but would never comment

MrsMiddleMother · 13/10/2023 13:53

According to the op she did say thank you and why is 'out there' a critique and not just a description of 2 presents MOST people would not give?

noooooooo · 13/10/2023 13:53

Reading this reminds me of the time I said ‘parties are such a hassle, won’t you be glad when it’s all over.’ I was thinking about our times as hosts, not guests, but since we were only talking about parties because the mum in question had recently invited my kid to her kid’s birthday, I must have sounded so ungrateful. She looked like I’d just kicked her. I didn’t know why until she’d walked away and then I died inside. Total brain to mouth fail. Still cringing years on. We did buy the little birthday girl a lovely gift (DD couldn’t actually go which made it bloody worse 😳) but the damage was done, I think.

does this sound a bit similar? Don’t suppose the expanded hands gesture could have meant you were unexpectedly very generous? I can’t see how they could deserve criticism, they’re objectively great gifts.

Fmlgirl · 13/10/2023 13:53

The amount of mums here that think extra special thought should be put into a gift for not even a close friend’s 4-year-old is staggering. So much entitlement.
I have a son but we appreciate any gift that is given to us. We don’t expect anything. Those gifts are lovely OP and very generous.

StarlightLime · 13/10/2023 13:53

YouOKHun · 13/10/2023 13:42

Some people don’t have any manners. I once got a class round robin email (before WhatsApp) from a mother warning us that for her DD’s upcoming birthday she didn’t want the “usual tat” and “would accept” cash in place of the usual tat (her words). I put 1p in an envelope with a card and she never spoke to me again, so a win win really.

Haha! Cheeky cow is no loss.

Saschka · 13/10/2023 13:55

GodDammitCecil · 12/10/2023 23:15

It doesn’t matter if you gave the child a potato and a lump of coal.

The mother should simply have said ‘thank you’ and carried on with her day.

You don’t critique someone’s present - that’s monumentally rude.

Yep I’d agree with all of that.

StarlightLime · 13/10/2023 13:55

MrsMiddleMother · 13/10/2023 13:53

According to the op she did say thank you and why is 'out there' a critique and not just a description of 2 presents MOST people would not give?

Because it's not Confused. It means something very specific.

Edwardbear1 · 13/10/2023 13:56

She was ungrateful- I think she probably thought you were just regifting tat you already had and didn’t want

SoftSheen · 13/10/2023 13:59

I think they are great gifts, and a much better idea than the endless craft sets which always end up in a tangled mess. The woman was being a bit strange and very rude.

Mistressanne · 13/10/2023 14:00

I love the bag. I use bags like that to slip shoes in when we’re going on holiday.

RichardArmitagesWife · 13/10/2023 14:00

The gym bag is a bit random. Why would they need a PE bag style thing?
I think the tin with something in like sweets or cute socks would have been more of a present.

But she was rude to say anything other than Thank You.

ScattyGinger · 13/10/2023 14:01

They are lovely presents! I'm nearly 40, but would have been super happy to receive these still at my age.

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 13/10/2023 14:01

MrsMiddleMother · 13/10/2023 13:53

According to the op she did say thank you and why is 'out there' a critique and not just a description of 2 presents MOST people would not give?

Who say's that to someone unless they are Amanda out of Motherland?

Porageeater · 13/10/2023 14:01

Lovely gifts so really odd thing for her to say and also stupendously rude obviously

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 13/10/2023 14:03

My Granddaughter would have loved that bag to put all her other bits in when she was going somewhere.

Fionaville · 13/10/2023 14:05

RichardArmitagesWife · 13/10/2023 14:00

The gym bag is a bit random. Why would they need a PE bag style thing?
I think the tin with something in like sweets or cute socks would have been more of a present.

But she was rude to say anything other than Thank You.

My DD would have loved that bag. At 4, she loved separating toys and things into bags. I mean, you can put anything in a nice bag, hair accessories, a mini doll collection, books to take out with you, a jacket and water bottle on a walk..countless possibilities. It doesn't just have to be used for p.e