Almost 3 year old still breastfeeding

[Dazedandmore]

My child is turning 3 in 3 months and they can breastfeed at all times if allowed. Totally obsessed with it, constantly hugging and kissing them. No amount of talking and explaining helps.

I have managed to bring down the day breastfeeding to only the nap time. She would fall asleep on the boob and not let go for the duration of the nap.

In the evening I'm trying for her to bf quickly and then fall asleep on her own. She does that but around 3 am wakes and until the morning it will be constant feeding. If I refuse She will get upset, kick around, shout etc.

I can't do this anymore, especially in the night. I haven't had good night sleep in 3 years and this must stop. Talking doesn't help. She doesn't care. I have tried changing my clothes to something she won't have access She still will find a way. We have tried her dad sleeping with her, we swap when she falls asleep and again around 3, she cried over 1 hour one time and couldn't stop until I went to her.

The only things I haven't tried are stopping my milk or putting the disgusting gel for nail biting - I bought it and it tastes so vile I decided against it.

Please give me some ideas what to do!!!

The only thing I've called you is rude, which I stand by. That's not an attack.

You have used very inflammatory language to describe mothers who breastfeed according to WHO advice. I won't repeat it all but it's there to read in this thread.

@Mummy08m

Yes but there are other professionals that disagree with who. Science has 2 sides to every story and I think it's only fair people know both sides.

Genuinely cannot believe you think breast feeding will stop your kid being obese and not the fact your are caring middle class mother??? Diet and exercise is what makes kids not fat past the "baby" stages.

Other women on here attacked me so I replied... The post is not about the benefits of breast feeding. I didn't make it about that.. YOUR SIDE DID. I defended myself...

Okay??

The slowly delay it works for us. Be very relaxed and don’t give in immediately, slowly say later and make it longer before ‘giving in’. This gets longer and easier. The gentlest way.

I didn't say "breastfeeding will stop my child from being obese" because I don't think any of this is black and white. Everything is just a case of percentages, incremental benefits, incremental risks.

In general I do recommend steering away from black and white thinking, including the language you use, when considering parenting choices. In reality both extended BF and FF from birth are ok, neither is "extreme" as you put it.

You must understand that you win no one over when you use phrases like "happy clappy" and stereotype mothers who BF according to governmental advice.

Op came here for weaning advice, which I and others have given. Yes you gave some too, but with an addition of damning criticism that was scientifically unjustified and very rudely expressed

I haven't criticised your parenting style. I know nothing about how you parent, or even if you are a parent. In fact I've criticised nobody's parenting styles at all, I've never criticised using formula or anything like that. All I've done is defended op's choices so far.

I'm going to bow out now because we've both said enough, I think. You do keep projecting opinions onto me that I've never said, it's really baffling, it's impossible to reason with you.

I haven't reported a single thing you've said. I'm more than happy for you to make a fool of yourself in public

Well done op for the extended bf.
I think it’s fantastic, but can understand why you want to stop.

I had the same ‘issue’ if you can call it that.
Dd 3 wasn’t having milk during the day, just at night before bed. I didn’t actually mind but I was pregnant with dc no2 and it was starting to get uncomfortable & I didn’t want to tandem feed. I was worried she would get upset but she actually weaned herself in the end - she wanted it less & less and one night she just stopped (a couple of months after her 3rd birthday)

I had been explaining to her for about 3/4 weeks beforehand that the milk won’t be there much longer and she can have it for a little longer - she seemed to accept this, then over the course of about a week, she stopped wanting it at night, she said it tasted ‘funny’ !

Keep persevering, I would personally do it in a gentle way over the course of 2/3 weeks, consistently explaining to her that the milk is going soon, rather than going cold turkey.

I will say Bacon88 that your theme seems to be putting 2+2 together and coming up with 1000. Suggesting I reported you is totally in keeping with that

Referencing the little Britain bit is widely known to be offensive to extended breast feeders. I'm sure you've offended a lot of people in this thread with it.

I'm ten years past breast feeding.

@Mummy08m

"All I have done is defend op choices so far"

But she didn't ask you to she asked for how to stop not why she did it for so long. You also did criticise others advice...

@TinkleTinkleToot

Never said you reported me love. You seem to repeatedly target me with personal attacks calling me stupid and a fool. Again the post is how to stop not why you breast feed yet you missed that bit. You saying I am putting 2+2 and getting a 1000s, isn't that what you just did?? Lol.

Referencing the little Britain bit is widely known to be offensive to extended breast feeders. I'm sure you've offended a lot of people in this thread with it

Tbf when someone comes out with that.You take anything else they say with a pinch of salt and just enjoy the show.

and it's worth saying. It's not called extended breastfeeding. It's called natural term breastfeeding. It's not about solely nutrition or whether your kid will be fat later on. Breasts are amazing pieces of kit and they know how to feed an older kid, they still do their job antibody wise.

There are very few mothers who enjoy feeding an older kid. It's a pain in the arse. Some people come out with frankly offensive, uninformed opinions. But that's all they are at the end of the day. They mean nothing.

I've literally only given the example of how I stopped breastfeeding and then responded to your posts. I've not said a word about why people breast feed. Stupid strikes again!

You did mean me, as as far as I can see I'm the only person who has called you stupid

Does no-one send toddlers off to grandparents any more? Odd question I know, but it just occured to me, that DDs went off to grandparents for the weekend from about 3. Is that an option OP? It would break the cycle.

I was wondering the same. I had nights out and weekends away! I think I would have gone crazy without a break for 3 years.

I am going crazy, thus me asking for advise. Lol

Grandparent lives abroad so not an option.

@Singleandproud, I was thinking this plays a huge role. She just cut her last one and I think she is definitely calmer now!

@Mummyof287,giving my boobs some personality is something I love as an idea and they totally deserve it after being in service for almost 5 years in total. :)

What grandparents? Our first childfree night was when DD was 7 and went off to Brownie camp, so about 3.5 years after she stopped breastfeeding!

Oh, that's a long wait! I was lucky enough to have my DM and three brothers pretty close by, so all had the girls over weekends.

Long wait indeed.
We don't have family here but I went out often: (my husband stayed with DD) or we paid for a sitter.
If the grandparents were around, I would be out every weekend 😂

Well quite, I went out in the evening every week once DD was three months and just left DH doing bedtime etc. And I do overnights for work so I've had plenty of nights "off" (if you can call work that!) just never with DH in the first seven years

I haven’t read all of the responses but I thought I’d share my experience as this was me a few weeks ago. DD1 turned 3 2 weeks ago and I’d decided I was done and needed it to stop. I’d wanted to tandem feed with DD2 (5 months) and although there were nice moments I actually didn’t like the experience. DD1 had ramped up feeds when DD2 was born and I’d managed to get her down to feed to sleep and once when she wakes in the morning. She had dropped her nap a couple of months before this so that sorted out that feed! So I just prepared her that when she turns 3 then boobie stops, she’s bigger and boobie has to go away now etc.

About a month before her birthday I would change bedtimes to a book and boob then no boob to sleep. She was fine with it, a little cry if she was really tired but that was it for a couple of days then it was the norm. Then 2 weeks before her birthday I explained and prepared for no boob in a morning but we had started getting her the chewy vitamins that she loved and she would wake up wanting those so we made a bit of a thing about her going to choose her vitamin first thing. And then on her birthday it was her last book and boob and then that was it. She was okay with it. A couple of cries and asked for it a few times but no melts downs or any major issues, just stuck to it and she wasn’t sad for long. I cried more! But she was okay and doesn’t ask for it now and her birthday was on the 13th! And I thought she would keep going forever if I let her! It can be done!

@Dazedandmore I think if you can hang on another couple of weeks while the last of her teeth are through properly you will find feeding reduces dramatically. Then I would give her a rmnotice that soon your body won't make milk anymore as she's a big girl (surprisingly not true I was still producing 3 years later). Make it a positive experience though, go to the Disney shop or similar and buy her a special grown up girl 'night time' cup for her before bed drink and make sure you keep that special 1:1 time that you would normally have due to breast feeding as its likely that that she'll be subconsciously worried about losing.

This did not work for me. DD was with her nan for 3 nights when I was in hospital and nothing changed! It did prove to me though that she was capable of sleeping without it.

Oh god this was me, OP. My sympathies. Mine was relentless and would probably still be going now if I hadn't had taken steps!

What really helped was going OUT - go for a walk on your own during bedtime and let your partner put her down. She was fine when I wasn’t in the house. Do it every night until she isn’t asking for you,

If she tries it in the night whilst she’s still asleep gently put her finger/thumb in her mouth instead.

Talk to her about it, Explain over and over that the milk is gone now. And say she’s a big girl and you’re so proud of her. Bribe her with a present for stopping for good.
Whatever works.