Almost 3 year old still breastfeeding

[Dazedandmore]

My child is turning 3 in 3 months and they can breastfeed at all times if allowed. Totally obsessed with it, constantly hugging and kissing them. No amount of talking and explaining helps.

I have managed to bring down the day breastfeeding to only the nap time. She would fall asleep on the boob and not let go for the duration of the nap.

In the evening I'm trying for her to bf quickly and then fall asleep on her own. She does that but around 3 am wakes and until the morning it will be constant feeding. If I refuse She will get upset, kick around, shout etc.

I can't do this anymore, especially in the night. I haven't had good night sleep in 3 years and this must stop. Talking doesn't help. She doesn't care. I have tried changing my clothes to something she won't have access She still will find a way. We have tried her dad sleeping with her, we swap when she falls asleep and again around 3, she cried over 1 hour one time and couldn't stop until I went to her.

The only things I haven't tried are stopping my milk or putting the disgusting gel for nail biting - I bought it and it tastes so vile I decided against it.

Please give me some ideas what to do!!!

No advice really sorry, but I just wanted to say I think it's great that you have breastfed for so long, you should be very proud of yourself.

Are you seriously referencing little Britain on this thread? How unbelievably ignorant.

I am going through the same with DD similar age. My first step has been to get it down to just the bedtime feed. 2 weeks in and she does still ask when she wakes at night, but she settles pretty quickly with a cuddle. Tried sending DH in the first night and she screamed for an hour until I went in and another hour with me. I agree with the PP who said its better to still be available as mum even if no boob is available.

I'm waiting until she is reliably OK during the night before thinking about tackling the bedtime feed. I know it's habit more than anything so have been thinking of things I could replace it with - a cup of warm milk with a cuddle and book or a footrub are the two things I'm going to try first I think. Good luck, it's really tough.

@TinkleTinkleToot

What is it then?? They are nearly 3 not nearly 2. If they were say 2 and 3 months then fine but they are 2 and 9 months. They are full on little people. Of course they can control you. Clearly she is being controlled as most 3 year olds do not scream at 3am for a boobie. Even the nhs recommends they should be sleeping though the night at well before 3.

So if other peoples 3 year olds are in bed asleep then who's being controlled and who isn't??

She should be using a cup.

Sorry but there's no arguing with stupid, so I'm not going to try.

At 3 she's old enough to understand no. Drop the bap too as at that old she doesn't need it. Try treating her a bit more grown up explain milk is for values and you don't have a baby any more as she's a big girl. Will sge start nursery/preschool soon? That should help too.

Nothing worked with one of mine at a similar age other than leaving for a few days. I went on a girls’ trip and he was sleeping through and no longer thinking about nursing when I got back. I also took cold medicine to try it up while I was gone. I had tried everything prior!

Mine stopped by about 3.5 years. I'd been really strict from about a year about not allowing pulling at clothes and if my breasts were covered up they weren't for feeding which seemed to help. But you do have to be really consistent about boundaries. We'd also always alternated bedtimes (she'd had 50% formula in the first year) so didn't feed to sleep, which also helped a lot.

I'd reduced it down to a few times per week from 2.5 years which helped too as it seemed to very naturally tail off over the year after that.

Look up Emma Pickett on Instagram, she is hugely experienced and has a lot of excellent advice, including on weaning older babies. Also check out the breastfeeding older babies group on Facebook. A very supportive community where people will have asked this q before I'm sure and you can get good advice. I don't think suddenly stopping completely is a great idea as you could get mastitis. It's not easy but there is more advice out there and I would look to those sources. Good luck!

@TinkleTinkleToot

Loads of people agree with me so who's the stupid one?? Even op wants the child to sleep through the night and to stop breast feeding.

What you are suggesting is breastfeeding at 3 is perfectly wonderful thing to do and only in British society it is not accepted. Well that's not what op asked!!

She has done very well to breastfeed and what a wonderful experience but it really is time to cut the crap. She is not a baby. You have to stop at some point and nearly 3 is a good time to stop...

Have a nice life.

You're right, there is lots of stupid out there :)

Just want to say good luck and well done op! DD is just turned 2 and I feel like she feeds more now than ever, I tried to stop about a month ago which just resulted in a week of very little sleep for anyone, I haven't mustered up the energy to try again!

Oh I remember those days, huge well done OP for getting so far.

When DS was around 2.5 we stopped daytime feeding and when that had happened I started sleeping on my front so he couldn't help himself. He was only waking out of habit so it did soon tail off.

I am still BFing my 3 year old to asleep, but we very slowly stopped all day feeds from around 2.5.
It is SO hard, I get it.
What about 'Boobie Moon', have you tried that?

I stopped breastfeeding a couple of months ago at 2 years 7 months. DD had dropped the nap so we were just down to bedtime feeds and middle of the night ones (but only when sick). I just told her my boobs were ‘owwie’ (her word for hurt) and gave her loads of cuddles and still lay with her to fall asleep. She did cry and grizzle a bit at times but I was there for her and we got through it. We all sleep in the same bed with her in the middle.
I haven’t bothered to read the comments from all the militant anti co-sleeping, anti toddler breastfeeding, pro sleep training parents on here but please ignore them 😅Presumably these things don’t sit right with you either if you’ve got this far.

We did also have a book which I got quite cheaply on Amazon ‘My milk will go our love will grow’. It made my DD sad when I first tried it (age 2) but I think as she got a bit older it was helpful in introducing the idea that breastfeeding would stop
soon.

A friend of mine swore by lime pickle smeared on her nipples to put her last one off.

My 3 year old has never slept all night and she's has only just stopped having milk in the night ur comments are not nice if u haven't got anything helpful then don't say anything and as for being controlled not at all op is doing what any mum would do and that's feeding her child

Plasters plasters plasters!!! God why didn't I try them earlier. One night and we were done!

Massive well done from me too OP. I would night wean first for sure. I did the Jay Gordon method and sent DH in. A beaker of water was accepted for e the first few nights and then he wasn't bothered and slept on (but woke early!!) I then enforced 'breastfeeding manners' bit by bit, with loves of talking and preparing 'Now you've had your (insert whatever you call it) later on before your sleep, you can just have this side/there will be none. I will cuddle you and help you.' Etc. Sounds a bit mad but I did this with ds before 2 and it worked with zero issues, really zero. We got down then to morning feed only by 2 and he had this probably till 4. Lots of days and even weeks passed at times between these feeds in the last months until he just said there was nothing there and stopped. No regrets, v glad I went baby led but adult directed! If it's not working for you both, it's not working, don't feel bad about limiting/weaning. You've done brilliantly. Limits are more than OK.

@mummybear247

Thats because you gave them milk in the night! They do not need it at 3. It is also really bad for their teeth to have anything other than water after they have cleaned them. Milk has calcium in it but also natural sugars that create cavities.

What you are suggesting is the other mums whose kids have stopped having milk are not caring mothers doing the best for there child?

My comments are not nice?? But you are okay with people calling me uncaring mother. Stupid. And now you suggesting I dont want the best for my child. Okay be kind brigade are so hypocritical!

Be kind brigade?

Ds and I chose a gift for him to mark the occasion.
I really didn't think it would work, but it did. Then we just stopped.
I guess all DC are different, so perhaps a bit of trial and error?

If I remember correctly, a breastfeeding child takes in milk in such a wag that it doesn't tend to pool around the teeth and gums so cavity problems are unlikely. Nonetheless, I'd absolutely be making moves towards weaning/a night's sleep at this stage!!

@mikado1

That is true up to around 12 months. Beyond 18 months when they start to get more teeth research has shown that they have a higher rate of cavities then children who do not breast feed. After 2 they have an even high rate of cavities. Basically the more teeth they get the sucking action changes and it does cause cavities especially with night time feeding.

However I am sure the breastfeed you kid till there 5 group will tell me I am stupid and wrong!