Almost 3 year old still breastfeeding

[Dazedandmore]

My child is turning 3 in 3 months and they can breastfeed at all times if allowed. Totally obsessed with it, constantly hugging and kissing them. No amount of talking and explaining helps.

I have managed to bring down the day breastfeeding to only the nap time. She would fall asleep on the boob and not let go for the duration of the nap.

In the evening I'm trying for her to bf quickly and then fall asleep on her own. She does that but around 3 am wakes and until the morning it will be constant feeding. If I refuse She will get upset, kick around, shout etc.

I can't do this anymore, especially in the night. I haven't had good night sleep in 3 years and this must stop. Talking doesn't help. She doesn't care. I have tried changing my clothes to something she won't have access She still will find a way. We have tried her dad sleeping with her, we swap when she falls asleep and again around 3, she cried over 1 hour one time and couldn't stop until I went to her.

The only things I haven't tried are stopping my milk or putting the disgusting gel for nail biting - I bought it and it tastes so vile I decided against it.

Please give me some ideas what to do!!!

When I stopped with my 4yo, we talked about it for a few days so he knew it was coming. Then I took him to Build a Bear to choose a toy on the day we were stopping. We talked about how the new toy was something he could cuddle if he was missing milk. He got a bit upset for a couple of days but it was pretty painless.

Exactly! Just stop. You are not going anywhere discussing it because your child doesn't understand the concept of not being breastfed. At the age of 3, they should learn by now how to self-settle. And the breastmilk is not as beneficial for them at this age anyway.

It is not only your child who is addicted to breastfeeding but you are as well.

Book a weekend away- if are you not there, it will be easier.

I must admit I find breastfeeding after about eighteen months a bit odd. Do any of these children get offered dummies or pacifiers at a young age to help them sleep? I never bf mine to sleep, after feeding I gave them a dummy in their cot and they always used that to help with sleep. I don’t think babies need breast milk for nutrition past that age so it’s purely a comfort thing.

@Dazedandmore you sound a wonderful mum. Glad you’ve had supportive advice on here. Hope the weaning and your new job goes well.

@Tina8800 has hit the nail squarely on the head.

@LizzieSiddal Thank you loads :)

@MrsSlocombesCat I must admit I find breastfeeding after about eighteen months a bit odd

I find your comment very odd.
You obviously have limited knowledge of BFing recommendations for babies and toddlers. Maybe educate yourself.

It's not 🙄

@Cowlover89

Yes it is... sorry mate but you see this with a certain type of mum. Those that believe this is not true are on the extremes of society. Like people calling me militant for not breastfeeding a kid past 12 months is ridiculous. That's actually balanced.

1. If I refused to breast feed and called it all rubish is 1 extreme.
2. Breast feeding past 18 months and most certainly past 2.5 is the other.

Own your extreme as you are not balance or objective...

Just say there is no more milk there. Say it's a shame and giver her a cuddle and read a book or whatever - but every time you backtrack in response to her tantrums you just kick the problem down the road a bit.

"It's very sad but there is no more milk there - here is a bottle/cup of milk."

The usual shite on a breastfeeding an older kid I see 🙄 not beneficial, mum addicted, cavities etc bollocks. Eyes can't be rolling harder.

The only way I managed to get mine off the tit at 3 1/2 was to go away on holiday. By the time I came back it has just ended. He didn't ask and I didn't offer.

So I agree with the weekend with the girls. She'll be alright if you're not actually in the house.

You haven't shown a source. It's bullshit.

Sugar in breastmilk is totally different to normal every day sugar.

I'm still feeding my near 17month old and will stop at 2. Again each to their own.

The nutrients and immune benefits just stop at a certain age?! 😆 How would that work? The many nutrients in bm just bolster up the nutrients from a child's solid food diet, and are especially golden when a child is sick or off their food etc. No one tells me I'm wasting my timr eating broccoli for comfort when I could have kale instead. And the comfort thing isn't the gotcha some people so knowingly think it is -the majority of bf mothers know how fantastic that oft dismissed 'just comfort' can be. It's not a small thing!

OP, you sound resolute now, keep your limits in mind, you are 50% of this bf relationship and you are completely right to change what isn't suiting. Best of luck!

There ya go.

@Bacon88

Would agree with the animal comparison, I have a little mare (horse) that is glad to see the back of her foals around 4 months. Plasters sound a great idea, failing that go out and be unavailable
Definitely drop the nap, you'll have a couple of days of whingeing but will be so worth it. Coming downstairs after bedtime at about 6.30 knowing that's it till morning and you've got a few hours of child free peace and quiet quality time is just fantastic.

Why are you feeding at 3am. She should be sleeping through a very long time ago. Talk to her, tell her you are going to stop, when you are going to stop, say at the end of the month. and then just do it.

@Cowlover89

Two can play your game. I agree up to 12months. After that they have a higher risk of cavities than kids who stop breast feeding...

Sorry what was that???? An apology.

Ph level. Prolong feeding. Past 12/18 months increased cavities. This is a American govement website.

Haha, lovely if it works, but it certainly didn't for my eldest (youngest still naps).

Some children will stay sleeping through once they drop their nap, many won't. Its not a reason to drop it.

When we night weaned my eldest at 15m (bottle), we replaced a 15m bottle then back to sleep with 2 hour wake ups.

@Cowlover89

"Recommend to reduce night time feeding as a direct link of prolonged breast feeding and tooth decay"

Seriously learn to be balanced.

I'm sorry i don't believe anything that comes from America. They get it from other things. Foods. Juice. Not breastmilk. 🙄

My son sleeps through the night. Only feed like 3 times during the day. But if my son wants a feed during the night he can have one 🤷‍♀️

@Bacon88 you're clearly ideologically against breastfeeding toddlers, something that cultures all over the world have done for thousands of years.

I direct you to the gov UK website on the subject, that, like the WHO, unequivocally recommends breastfeeding "to two years and beyond".

I also post a screenshot excerpt from the same link saying that the limited studies indicating an jncreased risk of tooth decay are potentially flawed due to not accounting for other sugar rich drinks and foods in the diet.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/breastfeeding-and-dental-health/breastfeeding-and-dental-health

I don't hope to convince @Bacon88 who clearly has very strong views indeed, calling breastfeeding mums "extreme" if they follow WHO guidance (!) but other mums might stumble across this thread and I think it's important to challenge those assertions.

In sny case, an increased risk of tooth decay (which is by no means conclusively proven) can firstly be mitigated by good tooth brushing and other habits; secondly that risk is balanced by many other proven benefits such as reduced risk of developing asthma and other allergies; reduced risk of developing obesity (this is a big deal in my view), reduced risk of gastro intestinal infection and longer term gastro intestinal disease.

These benefits are outlined in the gov uk link I shared above.