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Original poster

Husband - is this gross or AIBU?

119 replies

StillTrying10000 · 04/08/2023 08:33

Disgusted Paris Hilton GIF

Hello, so my husband wakes up in the morning and strokes my baby daughters face and picks up toys to give to her, and then plays with her using them. But all before he has been to the bathroom to wash his hands.
I think it’s gross and ask him to wash but obviously that goes down terribly (eye roll, walks out and leaves me to the baby)
All I can think is he’s been scratching his balls all night, let alone anything else (puke). What do you think? Does he need to make sure he holds higher hygiene standards with the baby or am I being over the top protective? Thanks! xx

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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TappingTed · 04/08/2023 08:33

Yabu

RaidFlySpray · 04/08/2023 08:33

Your husband scratches his balls all night?

ChristmasKraken · 04/08/2023 08:34

You're being over protective... Are you washing your hands all through the night before picking her up to feed her?

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WimpoleHat · 04/08/2023 08:34

Oh gosh - you are overthinking this! Your poor husband.

pictoosh · 04/08/2023 08:34

Yabu. Come back down to earth please.

FrenchandSaunders · 04/08/2023 08:35

Bit weird OP! You, not him!

Fatkittythinkitty · 04/08/2023 08:35

Imagine waking up and being happy to see your child so you show them affection and play with them and the other parent tells you you're gross. Horrible way to treat someone.

readbooksdrinktea · 04/08/2023 08:36

Nah, you're completely overreacting.

UncertainSmiler · 04/08/2023 08:36

More MN madness

Backstreets · 04/08/2023 08:36

YABU

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 04/08/2023 08:36

PFB? But seriously, it’s fine as long as he’s not putting his Bally fingers in her mouth

readbooksdrinktea · 04/08/2023 08:36

Fatkittythinkitty · 04/08/2023 08:35

Imagine waking up and being happy to see your child so you show them affection and play with them and the other parent tells you you're gross. Horrible way to treat someone.

Exactly this.

Original poster
StillTrying10000 · 04/08/2023 08:36

I wear underwear but if I feel in anyway I’ve touched something not clean of course I would wash my hands. We’re two steps from the sink.
My baby is a long waited rainbow baby who is immune compromised so sometimes I loose sight of what’s common sense vs OTT.

OP posts:
Original poster
StillTrying10000 · 04/08/2023 08:36

He’s touching the toys she immediately puts in her mouth.

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 04/08/2023 08:36

That's really quite odd. Your baby will be crawling on the floor soon and shovelling all sorts of crap into it's mouth how will you cope then?

TheGoodBanana · 04/08/2023 08:38

How old is your baby, do you have anxiety about other things?

I think YABU on this.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 04/08/2023 08:39

Fgs. Utterly ridiculous. MN obsessive fastidiousness/germ-phobia at its finest. Not once would it have occurred to me to need to wash my hands before contact with my dc on waking.

Hedjwitch · 04/08/2023 08:39

YABU

VinEtFromage · 04/08/2023 08:40

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 04/08/2023 08:36

That's really quite odd. Your baby will be crawling on the floor soon and shovelling all sorts of crap into it's mouth how will you cope then?

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

her face

there, fixed that for you.

@StillTrying10000

id have agree with the others, but with drip feed, then I might agree with you, depending on how old she is & how well she's been since coming home.

spitefulandbadgrammar · 04/08/2023 08:40

Your poor husband. She’s not your baby to ringfence, he’s her parent too. Wash his hands after putting the wheelie bin out? Sure. Wash his hands before cuddling her in the morning? Bonkers.

WalterWitty · 04/08/2023 08:41

Would he be willing to wear gloves to sleep in?

That way he can fulfil all his ball and arse hole scratching needs and you won’t have to worry about Sophie le girafe giving DD arse cooties…

Original poster
StillTrying10000 · 04/08/2023 08:42

Wow everyone’s so chilled about cleanliness! I’m surprised.
The doctor told me off the other day for not using gloves when I change my babies solid nappies. I assumed this must be standard for all children and I was just a bad first time
mum- I wonder now if it’s related to her low immune system.

OP posts:
Mummy08m · 04/08/2023 08:42

I think if your baby is under 2-3w old then I kind of get it but any older than that, you're worrying unnecessarily.

I was super careful with my baby before she was about a month old - we'd had such a horrific birth with the awful doctors constantly warning me she could die if I didn't "consent" to xyz interventions. So that convinced me she was really fragile. So I get it.

But after a couple of weeks they do get a bit hardier - are you breastfeeding? That helps their resistance to germs too

pictoosh · 04/08/2023 08:43

WalterWitty · 04/08/2023 08:41

Would he be willing to wear gloves to sleep in?

That way he can fulfil all his ball and arse hole scratching needs and you won’t have to worry about Sophie le girafe giving DD arse cooties…

Sorry to be blunt but how preposterous. Gloves to sleep in. ONLY on mumsnet.

Mummy08m · 04/08/2023 08:43

StillTrying10000 · 04/08/2023 08:42

Wow everyone’s so chilled about cleanliness! I’m surprised.
The doctor told me off the other day for not using gloves when I change my babies solid nappies. I assumed this must be standard for all children and I was just a bad first time
mum- I wonder now if it’s related to her low immune system.

Wow I've never seen a mum wear gloves to change a nappy. Ever.

They wear them at nursery but tbf they're working and changing bazillions of nappies

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