My in-laws sometimes look after my 3 year old DD. It isn’t very frequent and it’s usually when they want to look after her, not from a childcare standpoint. I suppose on average it would be 2 or 3 times a month.
Every time DD goes to their house, she is only fed sugar. I honestly wouldn’t mind the odd treat or two but the whole day is just sugar. They have a cupboard full of ‘toddler’ snacks e.g things like mini gingerbread men, crispy tiddlers, those yo yo things and other similar items. Given the frequency that she goes to their house, I do find it unnecessary for them to have a whole cupboard full of these snacks. DD just asks for constant snacks when she’s there. She is a pretty good eater for a toddler but understandably she finds these items a big temptation when she is there. My DH has previously asked them to only offer her one of these items when she is there and to otherwise offer fruit or similar. They agreed to this but I am not confident they’re following this. There always seems to be a new snack in the cupboard. I find it unnecessary and a bit strange that they keep buying these expensive and nutritionally poor items.
DD was with my MIL today. When I picked her up MIL said she’d eaten all her lunch. I asked what she had and she told me DD had a jam sandwich on white bread (she’ll happily have cheese, ham or peanut butter), a yoghurt ‘and some other bits’. Then when we went to get her things I saw an open pack of French fancies and DD later told me she’d had a chocolate cake (presumably one of the French fancies). She does have bits of fruit when she’s there but every single thing she has is sweet. MIL was very happy to tell me that DD had really enjoyed a yoghurt mixed with jam…DD simply doesn’t need all of this. She isn’t a fussy eater! I used to send her there with a lunchbox similar to one she has at nursery but MIL has told me she prefers to make her lunch herself. This doesn’t make any sense!
It's stressing me out a bit and making me not want to send her there. I let her go there as it’s nice for our in-laws to be included and DD does have a nice time playing there. However, when she goes to my parents she’ll have homemade vegetable soup, veg lasagne or whatever with the odd biscuit which I’m fine with. I really don’t mind the odd treat but this feels a bit extreme.
I'm not sure if I (or maybe DH) should speak with them about it or whether I should accept that the occasional day there with lots of sugar isn’t the end of the world or worth potentially making things a bit awkward. I suppose I’m worried about the future incase she does end up going more frequently and it’s become habit to just eat these snacks. We also have DS 6 months and I don’t want this to be his experience there in the future either. WWYD?