Should we pay?!

[Mumlife80]

Ok...so need some advice plz...I was watching my sisters two boys...age 10..and 7...i have a lively 3 yr old and while they were eating at the table my 3 yr old knocked the 7yr olds glasses onto the tiled floor breaking the frame under one of the lens...the cost to repair them is £75 and my partner is steadfast against paying for them while i think we should...my sister i think is expecting us to pay for them...what would you do??...my partner believes that because i was doing her a favour looking after her boys that should warrant not paying...also that our boy is only 3 and didnt know better...he thinks my sister is out of order expecting us to pay!! What do you all think? Thanks

Having read all of your updates, I would not be willing to pay. You didn't volunteer to have her dc, they were foisted upon you.

Maybe suggest that she pays you in future so that you can take out proper insurance to cover any accidents.

What do you mean by "designer"? Frames for kids on the NHS when mine were this age were shockingly bad quality and paying for Flexons or similar was the only way to get frames which lasted more than six months. I still wouldn't be happy if someone else's child grabbed them and damaged them.

We are all responsible for the behaviour of our small children so yes you should pay as your child grabbed the frames. Ask her for the receipt and reimburse based on that.

At the same time its the obvious opportunity to stop providing her with ad hoc babysitting. She will have to make alternative arrangements.

The child care arrangements are irrelevant. The fact that you can’t stand up to your sister doesn’t change the fact that your child broke the glasses.

Reading your posts . I would offer to pay but I would also start being less available. It sounds like she's taking advantage of you

I don’t understand the link between looking after your nephew and your child breaking his glasses. If you don’t want to babysit, don’t do it, but it is entirely separate from the glasses thing.

Nor does it matter if your sister is well off. That is relative anyway, and doesn’t alter the principle, which is that you are responsible for your son’s behaviour.

Not true.
The optician claims from the relative claim type. (Tick box)
They can choose from:
One lens only
Both lenses
One side
Two sides
Whole frame (no lenses)
Or whole frame frame, with lenses.
I'm a dispensing optician.....

It may well be that she's chosen a designer pair which goes well over what the NHS will pay. That's not what she's saying though.
IMO
Check the price for yourself, that does NOT sound right.
IF it is, it should be shared responsibility as your sisters child was also responsible as he wasn't looking after his glasses.

They were not on his face, or in the case provided. If they were, it wouldn't have happened.
50/50 to me.

But @PassTheGinHere the OP said they were on the childs face and her DC reached up, grabbed them and threw them on the floor!!

I think she should pay whatever cost is incurred-this is a deliberate act not an accident

Yes. I only read the drip feed with that detail after I posted.
That does shift it.
She should pay.

She can pay for childcare then.

“I’ll pay for the glasses, but probably best you stop dumping your kids on me with no warning for free childcare, yeah? Lest it happen again…”

All sorted...i paid..which of course i would...other half will just have to deal with it...my sister didnt want to take the money but i insisted...also sorted childcare...no more surprise dropoffs unless in emergency...

The whole point of her 'surprise dropoffs' is that she thinks you won't be able to say no.

You need to be able to say no. And mean it.

Yes OP your child broke them, you pay for them. Everything else is completely irrelevant imo, just pay for the flipping glasses and don't let your kid in reach of them again.

Ah I can see you paid! Well done, you can forget about the drama now!

Yes, under the circumstances I’d very begrudgingly pay, but I wouldn’t look after them again. 3yr olds do daft things because, well, they’re 3. Are your nephews veritable angels? Look forward to them breaking something of yours.

What is the value of an NHS optical voucher?The value of your voucher will depend on which part of your glasses needs to be repaired or replaced. This could be:

• one lens
• both lenses
• the front of the frame
• the side of the frame
• the whole frame

Your optician can tell you how much your NHS optical voucher is worth. Can I get my glasses repaired or replaced on the NHS? - NHS (www.nhs.uk)

I have a toddler who destroys glasses by grabbing at them and I'm clumsy too (have sat on them, lost them, dropped them etc...). I buy £6.95 glasses from goggles4u.

I have never paid £75 for a pair of glasses for myself in my entire life and frankly wouldn't.

I would offer to buy an affordable replacement pair but I'm not paying 12x the cost of my glasses just to fix a pair.

This exactly - my son has glasses and I spend my life at the opticians when they are broken, repairs are free?

The glasses are broken and would not have been broken if your son didn't knock them off. So yes I believe you should pay

Was it an accident? If so he's only 3 or was it deliberately? my granddaughter knows exactly what she's doing. It's a catch 22 ain't it really you've looked after her 2 children for nothing if it was an accident then 100% agree with your hubby if it was deliberately then offer half and say your sorry but if her children had broken something in your house you probably wouldn't of charged her there kids shit happens

You should pay. Favour or not your child broke them

My son has a similar age gap to my nieces, one of whom wears glasses. I’d certainly offer to pay in those circumstances, regardless of doing her a favour watching them for her.

Glad it worked out. I was going to say you should offer and she should refuse. Just manners basically. Not a matter of right or wrong.

By your reckoning, if you bought a cheap £100 sofa, knowing you are clumsy, and your child deliberately poured Ribena/candle wax/any other form of damaging liquid all over a friend's £1200 sofa ruining it completely, you'd only offer to pay £100 because that's all you paid for yours?

Ridiculous!

If your child (or you!) deliberately damages something belonging to someone else you pay to replace it with something of the same value!

Why should someone else be forced to accept something lesser just because you do?

That’s ridiculous. Just because you are cheap it doesn’t mean everyone else is.
If your child breaks something then you should replace it With a like for like. Not the crap you get online.