Should we pay?!

[Mumlife80]

Ok...so need some advice plz...I was watching my sisters two boys...age 10..and 7...i have a lively 3 yr old and while they were eating at the table my 3 yr old knocked the 7yr olds glasses onto the tiled floor breaking the frame under one of the lens...the cost to repair them is £75 and my partner is steadfast against paying for them while i think we should...my sister i think is expecting us to pay for them...what would you do??...my partner believes that because i was doing her a favour looking after her boys that should warrant not paying...also that our boy is only 3 and didnt know better...he thinks my sister is out of order expecting us to pay!! What do you all think? Thanks

Then you should absolutely pay for them.

On first principles, I think you should pay. This wasn't an accident. This was your child being naughty. (Your child is probably too young to have realised the permanent consequences of his actions, but he knew he was misbehaving.)

However, you say your sister is well off - are you?

In my family, although we'd agree who was at fault, settling the costs would be taken care of by the richer sibling anyway.

Separately, you describe your 3-year-old as "lively", and you're the parent. I think perhaps you should be suspending babysitting services until your boy is a bit older. It's not a kneejerk reaction to having to pay for damage - the damage is the trigger for evaluating whether the kids are of suitable ages/personalities to watch at the same time.

Does your sister look after your children at all?

If not, I think it's fair enough in light of this to say that you can't offer free babysitting any more and will have to start charging if she can't reciprocate.

Your son broke them, you should pay for them. If you were in any other setting, or this was anyone else’s child wouldn’t this be the case? How about if the shoe was on the other foot. Your husband is being ridiculous, and confounding two separate issues.

if you genuinely can’t afford it or can’t pay the full amount, then speak to your sister if she is well off. She should
understand.

Your kid broke them on your watch.you pay!

I don't think this is correct - we have had complete frame replaced free of charge and also a lost pair replaced, again without charge.

To me, there are two separate issues here, the glasses and childcare.

Pay for the glasses. Your child broke them, and it wasn’t any carelessness on your nephew’s part.

And refuse to babysit anymore. She’s using you.

I understand where your partner is coming from. You’ve certainly done more than enough in free childcare to cover the cost of the glasses, but you agreed to doing that, and at the end of the day, your child broke them. So, pay and be done with it all.

I would pay, but then I probably wouldn’t babysit again tbh. Not to be petty, but because I couldn’t afford it.

How is that the same as "while they were eating at the table my 3 yr old knocked the 7yr olds glasses onto the tiled floor"?

Pay.

Very odd that she has to pay £75 my dc has broken her glasses a couple of times and never been charged for a replacement. I’d assume this is more because she has opted for designer frames rather than those eligible for nhs funding. I think in this situation I would feel I should offer the money. But seriously stop letting her take the absolute piss out of you by leaving her kids there. She’s being a total cf.

Agree like all pp’s that you should definitely pay.

your partner isn’t happy about you doing something for free - that’s another issue. Not really anything to do with him imo - if you’ve agreed something with your sister that’s your business. If you don’t want to babysit anymore then fine you’re well within your rights. but unless he’s doing any childcare then don’t get him involved. X

You should def pay

And tell your 3yr that he can't grab people's glasses as they need them to see and they break

And regards childcare tell her no. You have plans. Going out. Etx

I was with you until you kept excusing what your 3-year-old did. Maybe breaking them wasn't intentional but the act of pulling them off of another's child's face and throwing them WAS.

You need to pay and you need to teach your 3-year-old about damaging things that are not theirs.

But back to the point that you seem to have missed. Nhs repair glasses. My child's have been sent back many times before. 🤷🏻‍♀️

She hasn't missed it. OP said that her sister expected it to be free, but when she took the glasses to be repaired she was told it would cost as they're designer and it's the frame, not the lens or arms.

He grabbed them off the 7yr olds face and threw them on the the tiled floor thinking it was funny...

100% should pay! At 3 years old they should know not to do that.
I say this as my husband and I wear glasses along with a my mother and my FIL and have known from a young age not to touch glasses.

Yes you pay
That was not an accident

And why do you let her get away with it? Do you not have a voice? Are you not able to say "I'm busy" / "can't look after your children"

What does she do?

Yes but I would be checking that. It’s the whole point of kids glasses/nhs I think. My boys are mid range and I’ve never paid a penny extra.

I mean, you should probably pay for them as your child deliberately knocked them off your nephew's face but what's being walked over with the childcare? Unless of course you regularly drop yours off at hers as well.

I wonder why your partner thinks that because you were doing her a favour, you don’t have to take responsibility for your child costing your sister £75?
It’s a very odd point of view.
Of course you pay.

Well you should pay because it's definitely your lot's fault.

But children's eye tests and prescriptions are free in England. I've never paid for kid's glasses so I'd chat to your sister?

We went to a different optician last time and they only had kids specs around that price. I refused to pay as I know there's an amazing range of free ones in Specsavers and the like.

She may not even know she can get a decent replacement for free. But if she's spent that much on them and wants them replaced you've just got to suck it up I'm afraid.

Maybe she's well off because she doesn't have to pay for childcare! How often do you provide free childcare? I also suspect that the repair cost is nowhere near £75. You can buy new children's glasses for a lot less than that.

If your sister just turns up when it suits her and expects you to look after her dc then I think the least she can do is suck up 75£ !!