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Original poster

Should we pay?!

376 replies

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 19:54

Ok...so need some advice plz...I was watching my sisters two boys...age 10..and 7...i have a lively 3 yr old and while they were eating at the table my 3 yr old knocked the 7yr olds glasses onto the tiled floor breaking the frame under one of the lens...the cost to repair them is £75 and my partner is steadfast against paying for them while i think we should...my sister i think is expecting us to pay for them...what would you do??...my partner believes that because i was doing her a favour looking after her boys that should warrant not paying...also that our boy is only 3 and didnt know better...he thinks my sister is out of order expecting us to pay!! What do you all think? Thanks

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AsterixAndPersimmon · 26/07/2023 17:09

Mumlife80 · 26/07/2023 13:49

All sorted...i paid..which of course i would...other half will just have to deal with it...my sister didnt want to take the money but i insisted...also sorted childcare...no more surprise dropoffs unless in emergency...

I think that’s a pretty good outcome tbh.

AsterixAndPersimmon · 26/07/2023 17:13

JusthereforXmas · 26/07/2023 15:30

I have a toddler who destroys glasses by grabbing at them and I'm clumsy too (have sat on them, lost them, dropped them etc...). I buy £6.95 glasses from goggles4u.

I have never paid £75 for a pair of glasses for myself in my entire life and frankly wouldn't.

I would offer to buy an affordable replacement pair but I'm not paying 12x the cost of my glasses just to fix a pair.

Hmm… I guess you dint have a complex prescription then…
The lenses alone cost me more than £400 each time (Varifocal with astigmatism and needing to thin the lenses down by quite a lot)

There is no way I’d buy them online because positioning has to be spot on (and when it isn’t, I can’t see well).

WisherWood · 26/07/2023 17:37

Hmm… I guess you dint have a complex prescription then…

Likewise. Places used to advertise that they would make my glasses for me in an hour and I'd think why? I'd rather you took your time quite frankly. The px for mine is markedly different between eyes and pretty bad in both, plus the astigmatism. BOGOF on glasses never includes my px. And I can't leave the house without glasses or contacts so I cough up quite a lot of money for glasses.

I then look after the damn things. I've only very, very rarely broken them. Unless the px changes, I can keep glasses for decades.

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CottagePieLaLaLa · 26/07/2023 17:39

Absolutely you should pay. Just because you were doing her a favour that doesn't 'entitle' you to 'compensation' in the form of not paying for damages...

Rachykins · 26/07/2023 18:08

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 20:36

I think we should pay...but my partner is fuming at the thought of it because of how much i look after the kids and the fact that our wee one is only 3 and it wasnt intentional...he reckons i should put 75 on the table and if she takes it then fine but she would no longer be welcome as its just too risky to have her and kids over

I disagree with this comment. He may be only 3 and didn’t truly understand the consequence BUT….. he did so it intentionally. I can’t speak for all 3 year olds but neither of my children would have done that to someone at 3 years old. I’d definitely pay. Your OH is being overly defensive- his son did something unacceptable, pay and ensure it doesn’t happen again

rmdbsmummy · 26/07/2023 18:14

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 20:22

Ohh its a mixed bag of responses..
With the regards to the price...according to my sister the NHS only cover damage to the lenses or the legs of the glasses..since it was the frame they wont pay to fix them...

Your sister is lying.

DisforDarkChocolate · 26/07/2023 18:21

Grabbed and thrown, definitely pay. Left lying around, no need to pay, that's an accident.

Whattheflipflap · 26/07/2023 18:22

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 20:29

He grabbed them off the 7yr olds face and threw them on the the tiled floor thinking it was funny...

yeah you pay them in this instance -

Lucyintheskywithadiamond · 26/07/2023 18:25

JusthereforXmas · 26/07/2023 15:30

I have a toddler who destroys glasses by grabbing at them and I'm clumsy too (have sat on them, lost them, dropped them etc...). I buy £6.95 glasses from goggles4u.

I have never paid £75 for a pair of glasses for myself in my entire life and frankly wouldn't.

I would offer to buy an affordable replacement pair but I'm not paying 12x the cost of my glasses just to fix a pair.

Just because you prefer cheap glasses on your face does not mean everyone else should. If a kid destroys something intentionally, of course it should be paid for my the parents.

mondaytosunday · 26/07/2023 18:29

Yep you should pay.

diddl · 26/07/2023 18:32

boredsolicitor · 26/07/2023 08:34

If your sister just turns up when it suits her and expects you to look after her dc then I think the least she can do is suck up 75£ !!

I agree with that tbh.

However I'd probably pay & tell her that looking after her kids is too expensive & can't be done anymore.

Dukeydo · 26/07/2023 18:32

ZenNudist · 25/07/2023 20:05

Are you not in the UK?

In the UK kids glasses are repaired for free on the NHS. My kids are forever breaking theirs.

If you'd sister is telling you it's £75 she must be a massive mug paying way over the odds. I get resentful at having to pay £20 lense thinning for my eldest DS as thats not standard on NHS.

This Specsavers do all repairs for children’s glasses for free. Hope that helps

Oceanus · 26/07/2023 18:34

Accidents happen. That's what insurances are for. I'm with your partner on this but if you want to keep the peace pay for it and never ever do any babysitting for your sister again. Ever.

Roselilly36 · 26/07/2023 18:35

I used to work for a high street optician, NHS will cover all repairs, lens inc any part of the frame that needs replacement, there may be a payment due if they are designer frames. Kids specs were in most days for repairs, they are kids and glasses get lost broken all the time.

itgetsthehoseagain · 26/07/2023 18:35

Go halves?

Twillow · 26/07/2023 18:36

Firstly I presume you made it clear to your 3 year old it was not funny and not acceptable. Secondly why did you insist on paying if your sister refused - I would have then gone halves.

itgetsthehoseagain · 26/07/2023 18:36

Oceanus · 26/07/2023 18:34

Accidents happen. That's what insurances are for. I'm with your partner on this but if you want to keep the peace pay for it and never ever do any babysitting for your sister again. Ever.

Oooh, no - I've changed my mind. This.

BeaYC · 26/07/2023 18:37

To be honest, accident or not I would insist on paying, whether or not my sister asked. It's just basic courtesy in my mind, regardless of anything else - she's my sister, and one of her two children's glasses broke through interaction with a person in my home while I was looking after them. Things happen in childhood, but the last thing you need is for your sister to feel a bit stressed that sending her children to be with you, which is a healthy activity, may result in lots of expenses.
Not sure why your partner would be against this, as I am sure they would appreciate the courtesy had it occurred the other way round! Good luck 🤟

Carpediemmakeitcount · 26/07/2023 18:37

Well done op for giving her the money I bet one of the reasons she didn't want it is because she knew she was losing free childcare and she did.

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/07/2023 18:38

Mumlife80 · 26/07/2023 13:49

All sorted...i paid..which of course i would...other half will just have to deal with it...my sister didnt want to take the money but i insisted...also sorted childcare...no more surprise dropoffs unless in emergency...

Make sure you stick to the "no more surprise dropoffs" - something tells me your sister is likely to cry 'emergency' when it's actually 'convenience'.

Be firm!

longtompot · 26/07/2023 18:39

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 20:29

He grabbed them off the 7yr olds face and threw them on the the tiled floor thinking it was funny...

I was going to say maybe go halves, but I think you should pay really after reading this

itgetsthehoseagain · 26/07/2023 18:41

longtompot · 26/07/2023 18:39

I was going to say maybe go halves, but I think you should pay really after reading this

Show quote history

Yeah, I've changed my mind again. This. A 3 year old doing that on purpose makes it your problem, I think.

TheMummy9875 · 26/07/2023 18:42

I’ve had no issue with them replacing or repairing no end of damages to glasses with my 2 boys, one has SEND & does amazing things to them 🙈
that being said, if your child has grabbed and thrown them, babysitting or not, unfortunately, for me at least, that’s a you expense x

Canthave2manycats · 26/07/2023 18:45

AsterixAndPersimmon · 26/07/2023 17:13

Hmm… I guess you dint have a complex prescription then…
The lenses alone cost me more than £400 each time (Varifocal with astigmatism and needing to thin the lenses down by quite a lot)

There is no way I’d buy them online because positioning has to be spot on (and when it isn’t, I can’t see well).

Show quote history

Same!! I had to get new lenses recently. I got them in my existing frame and they still cost me 240! I can only imagine whatever you might get for £6.95 would be utterly crap!

I don't believe your sister either @Mumlife80.

"Children under 16 are entitled to an NHS optical repair or replacement voucher. This voucher helps towards the cost of replacing or repairing your child's glasses or contact lenses if they lose or damage them".

She could have said he'd lost them?

Abbyant · 26/07/2023 18:45

As you said your child pulled them off the other child’s face then it’s your responsibility to pay for them as it wasn’t an accident it was on purpose.