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Original poster

Should we pay?!

376 replies

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 19:54

Ok...so need some advice plz...I was watching my sisters two boys...age 10..and 7...i have a lively 3 yr old and while they were eating at the table my 3 yr old knocked the 7yr olds glasses onto the tiled floor breaking the frame under one of the lens...the cost to repair them is £75 and my partner is steadfast against paying for them while i think we should...my sister i think is expecting us to pay for them...what would you do??...my partner believes that because i was doing her a favour looking after her boys that should warrant not paying...also that our boy is only 3 and didnt know better...he thinks my sister is out of order expecting us to pay!! What do you all think? Thanks

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Pumpkinspice13 · 25/07/2023 22:50

My daughter just had her glasses replaced free on nhs (specsavera) as she lost them. They have told me any damage or loss is covered.

Viviennemary · 25/07/2023 22:51

It wasnt an accident. You need to pay for replacement glasses.

TopMog · 25/07/2023 22:51

NewName122 · 25/07/2023 22:22

They will fix the frames / swap them for free on nhs. My sons had glasses since age 2 and is a teen now and has broken loads including the main frame and arms. All were fixed or replaced free of charge.

Can you get this done on the NHS for free? Find out and if so, tell your sister.

A 3-year old does not understand the implications.

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TheFormidableMrsC · 25/07/2023 22:53

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 20:22

Ohh its a mixed bag of responses..
With the regards to the price...according to my sister the NHS only cover damage to the lenses or the legs of the glasses..since it was the frame they wont pay to fix them...

I'd check this as my son snapped the frame of his glasses and they were replaced free of charge.

HopityHope · 25/07/2023 22:54

I would offer to get a cheap replacement.
Tell her you can no longer watch her kids as you can’t afford it if any more accidents happen. Get your DH to help you say no to her when she calls or drops round. Have a few stock phrases like you’re going out or sick if it helps you stand up to her.

CJsGoldfish · 25/07/2023 23:00

Im a pretty seasoned parent...my 3yr old is my fourth so to anyone that assumes my parenting is inadequate then LOL

To anyone that assumes the ability to birth babies automatically makes them an adequate parent then LOL 🙄

Of course you should pay 🤷‍♀️

TarquinOliverNimrod · 25/07/2023 23:01

Course you have to pay!

and your partner needs to zip it 🤫 🤐 he sounds like a bit of a tit.

SerafinasGoose · 25/07/2023 23:04

If it happened on my watch and my child broke them, I'd pay. I was responsible for the kids at the time, however the accident happened.

The fact that you were doing them a favour isn't relevant in this situation. I believe your partner is wrong.

TeenLifeMum · 25/07/2023 23:07

My dd broke her glasses and to fix is £75… they cost £85 to start with so she’s making do with her old ones until her next opticians appointment in September. Her last pair was £35 to fix so I was quite shocked as I hadn’t realised the difference in initial cost impacted the fixing costs for dc glasses. Often the free nhs ones are limited options.

your dc broke the glasses while in your care so yes, you need to pay.

3AndStopping · 25/07/2023 23:08

Yeah I’m also echoing previous posters. My daughter has lost/damaged untold pairs and I’ve never been charged a thing. Otherwise it’s risking parents being unable to afford and children going without much needed glasses, isn’t it? If it’s true they’ll charge for this particular damage (unlikely) then just say they are lost. I really don’t think there’s a charge though. But I would be having a serious word with 3yo.

cadink · 25/07/2023 23:13

You definitely need to pay here

Titchyfeep · 25/07/2023 23:14

Looking at your update you should absolutely pay. If your child had accidentally knocked them off then it might be different but it was something preventable that caused the damage, at 3 they know right from wrong. I would get your sister to double check if NHS will replace the frame, I’m in Scotland so might be different but my daughter broke hers and it was free for a new pair but I was told I would have to pay if it happened again.

strawberryandcreams · 25/07/2023 23:16

If you are in the UK it is covered by NHS. Daughter recently did exactly the same thing. Save the lenses and they can be put in a new frame

CheshireCat1 · 25/07/2023 23:17

Yes, you should pay.

NumberTheory · 25/07/2023 23:18

I think you’re responsible for your child’s actions when they do something like this.

But if I was your sister, I wouldn’t be taking the money from you because you were doing me a favour and in doing so you took on risk you wouldn’t otherwise have had which directly lead to the damage. It’s pretty poor of her to expect you to end up out of pocket for doing her a favour.

So I’m with your DP - if you make the offer and she takes it, then you shouldn’t mind her kids so much as it’s an expense she is expecting you to risk so she can have free childcare.

You could put it to her like that - “Sis, we can pay for the glasses. But this has highlighted the risks we take looking after DNephew for you, so if you aren’t prepared to underwrite that risk for us [i.e. swallow the cost] I can’t look after DNephew any more. I’m not prepared to do you favours just to end up with it costing me hard cash.” - if you think she’d take it better having it spelled out.

catherinewales · 25/07/2023 23:19

My girl is 12 and wears glasses. Shes worn them since she was 1. She had glasses took of her face and snapped, left them in McDonald's, dropped them and the fames broke, lost them. We've never ever had to pay for a new frame on the nhs. Even when she needed 4 new glasses in a year. The only time we've had to pay to be fixed is her second free pair (which they don't do anymore) that was sunglasses.

Summerscoming23 · 25/07/2023 23:24

I would pay but never watch the kids again...I'm too stubborn for that

Ellie1015 · 25/07/2023 23:27

Unless you really cant afford it i would pay.

As a completely seperate issue i would be putting boundaries in place to stop sister dumping kids on you whenever she feels like it. That is not acceptable.

Thebirdhouse · 25/07/2023 23:29

Noella12 · 25/07/2023 20:34

It was your son who broke them while the children were being supervised by you, of course you should be offering to pay. Can't believe other people are saying you shouldn't.

This of course. I'm baffled that you are even asking tbh.

Budikka · 25/07/2023 23:34

In a normal scenario, I think paying half is reasonable. Hopefully, if you offer to pay the full amount, she will then step in and say "let's go halves".

It honestly seems unfair for either side to bear the whole cost from what was, in essence, an accident.

HoppingPavlova · 25/07/2023 23:37

He grabbed them off the 7yr olds face and threw them on the the tiled floor thinking it was funny

well, with that turnaround in information, of course you should pay. Given the situation, shocked you would ask. That’s in no way an accident.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/07/2023 23:44

On the bright side - this accident and the consequences of it have given you a perfect opportunity for an easier way to say no to your sister from now on.
So, happily pay the £75. In fact insist on it. Because from that moment on you have 'Sorry I can't look after Bob today, I can't risk Rob causing £75 worth of damage again.'

Dillane · 25/07/2023 23:57

TarquinOliverNimrod · 25/07/2023 23:01

Course you have to pay!

and your partner needs to zip it 🤫 🤐 he sounds like a bit of a tit.

This

WannaBeRecluse · 26/07/2023 00:00

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 20:29

He grabbed them off the 7yr olds face and threw them on the the tiled floor thinking it was funny...

In this context, I would pay. If you think it could happen again, don't babysit.

LittleBearPad · 26/07/2023 00:09

Based on the massive drip feed of course you have to pay.