My 4 year old damaged neighbours car

[Mummmybear03]

Hi all. My kids were playing on our street yesterday and one of them ran inside saying that my youngest who is 4 years old had thrown a stone and it has marked the neighbours visitors car. I immediately went round and before even seeing the damage I was very apologetic and said I would cover the repair damages. When I looked at the car there is the tiniest chip mark. A few kids were around us at the time and I asked who started throwing the stones, because my son wouldn’t just do that he copies people. It turns out it was said neighbours daughter who is 11. The parents were very off with me saying that it is irrelevant who started it. Clearly it isn’t because a 4 year old boy will copy what he has seen. I can away still saying that I would pay for the damage and apologising. I got my 4 year old who was very upset to apologise too. After coming away I checked cctv recording and it shows the neighbours daughter who’s car was damaged, was sat throwing stones at another boy on his bike and in the street. She has also taken my stones from my garden and thrown them out onto the road.
I am a reasonable person and if my child caused damage I would pay for it. But the fact he has copied their daughter makes me reluctant. And they’re were pretty arsy with me even though all I did was apologise and offer to pay. They said they will get a quote and get back to me. Just to note that it’s such a minor mark on a 9 year old car.
Any advice? Thanks.

I can't see where the damage is?

A 4 year old isn’t old enough to be playing in the street unsupervised.

Show them the cctv footage and challenge them, their daughter was obviously behaving far from perfectly too.

I'd be wary of letting a four year old out to play without adult supervision too, so I think nobody really emerges from this well.

Prepare for the 'why was your 4 year old outside playing unsupervised comments'

You can get touch up paint branded for about £25 or £5 or so bottles on eBay etc just ask them for the colour code of the car . Little bit of paint will sort that

You let your 4 yo play out unsupervised ?

If your child damages someone else’s property then you pay. It’s irrelevant who started it and who he was copying. If he is a child that is easily led then you need to supervise him before something serious happens.

This - supervise your child until they are older.

Also in future don't be too ready to admit things if there is a camera around until you have watched the footage..

I definitely never let mine out unsupervised at four years old. Not even if with an older sibling. They were MY responsibility, nobody else's.

This can't be real. Surely very few parents are negligent enough to allow a 4 year old to play unsupervised in a road. Let alone come on a parenting forum and nonchalantly mention it without anticipating an avalanche of comments telling them how negligent they are 🙄

I would not let a 4yo out unsupervised. MN threads often say that 4yos go out unsupervised, so I am surprised there are so many responses asking why your 4yo was unsupervised.

I think the copying point is irrelevant. If your 4yo cannot make good decisions and copies others, then he is unsafe out without an adult.

That said, a minor mark on an older car - I'd cover a little bottle of touch up paint and nothing more. If it's more than that, they'll need to put it through their insurance. Just to warn you, I had a tiny mark on the door of my car once and was quoted £700 to fix it by the main dealer. Needless to say, the car spent its entire life with that mark still on it!

Yeah wouldn't let my 4 year old out on his own either.

I can't see the damage?

I agree that it a irrelevant who started the stone throwing. The neighbours daughter isn't responsible for your 4 year old's behaviour; you are.

I agree with this, but would add that there is a limit up to which you pay, and if it's over that limit, then it needs to go through insurance.

I don't think you can use 'a 4 year old will copy' as a defence, it's your job to guide them and ensure they don't copy bad things.

Yabu for not being out there with your 4 yr old.

You should have been supervising your 4 year old. It's your responsibility to put it right. It doesn't matter if it's small. Your child caused unnecessary damage

I'm guessing this is the very obvious chip on the car. Not sure why some people can't see it.

It doesn't matter how old the car is
It doesn't matter who started it.

All that matters is that your kid damaged someone else's property so you have to pay.

4 years old!!

Pay up and supervise your child.

Yeah check out that convincing photo of a wet car (when it's been dry for ages) with zero visible damage.

@Topseyt123
Are you talking to en or the op

*to me

If the chip is that little white thing on the left hand side of the photo then offer to fix it with some T-Cut.

What the 11 year old got up to is beside the point. If the 11 year old was babysitting, you might have a point, but if she was doing her own (obnoxious) thing and your DS decided to copy her that is nothing to do with her.

I can’t fathom why you seem to think as the older girl was throwing stones in the opposite direction it somehow absolves you of responsibility. It feels like you’re trying to get out of paying. Your very young child was unsupervised by an adult and damaged the car. You’re responsible. Pay up

I don't know where you live @PuffinsRocks but it rained heavily here both Saturday and Sunday.