My 4 year old damaged neighbours car

[Mummmybear03]

Hi all. My kids were playing on our street yesterday and one of them ran inside saying that my youngest who is 4 years old had thrown a stone and it has marked the neighbours visitors car. I immediately went round and before even seeing the damage I was very apologetic and said I would cover the repair damages. When I looked at the car there is the tiniest chip mark. A few kids were around us at the time and I asked who started throwing the stones, because my son wouldn’t just do that he copies people. It turns out it was said neighbours daughter who is 11. The parents were very off with me saying that it is irrelevant who started it. Clearly it isn’t because a 4 year old boy will copy what he has seen. I can away still saying that I would pay for the damage and apologising. I got my 4 year old who was very upset to apologise too. After coming away I checked cctv recording and it shows the neighbours daughter who’s car was damaged, was sat throwing stones at another boy on his bike and in the street. She has also taken my stones from my garden and thrown them out onto the road.
I am a reasonable person and if my child caused damage I would pay for it. But the fact he has copied their daughter makes me reluctant. And they’re were pretty arsy with me even though all I did was apologise and offer to pay. They said they will get a quote and get back to me. Just to note that it’s such a minor mark on a 9 year old car.
Any advice? Thanks.

I'd say you have to pay, it doesn't matter if he was copying someone or not. He is the one who damaged the car and he was also unsupervised.

There is no way I would let an amateur near my car paint work with a piece of sandpaper and touch up paint! Fair enough if it is your own car and you make that decision, but cheeky as fuck to suggest it when you have damaged someone else's car!

Especially on an older car where paint will have faded and touch up paint will be brighter and need blended in by someone who knows what they are doing.

You need to pay up or sort it. Your child, so your responsibility. He needed to be supervised, so it’s your fault, really.

Haven’t read the whole thread, but you can’t blame the 11 year old for influencing your 4 year old. Kids that young copy each others behaviour that is why you should be supervising your 4 year old until he is of an age where he is able to make sensible decisions

Entirely your fault AND responsibility. Hope that helps!

I don’t think my 4 year old would just blindly copy another child’s bad behaviour but then she wouldn’t get a chance because I wouldn’t leave her unattended in the street with a bloody random 11 year old.

YABU pay up and be grateful your kid wasn’t kidnapped, hurt or killed

A 4 year old immature ……. Imagine!

OP, I am in the minority here, but I agree with you completely!

I suppose it’s obvious that OP couldn’t be the only irresponsible parent around, sadly!

This. Copying other kids isn't a valid reason not to cough up either. Nobody forced him to copy another child. My own 4 year old would happily copy anyone, though is ND and throwing things is sadly of great interest. However, ND or otherwise, my 4 year old would never be alone on the street, especially near cars.

This!

Your child threw the stone which damaged the car. It’s irrelevant whether he copied someone - you should have been supervising.

The age of the car is also irrelevant. You pay up for Chips Away to fix it (or similar - not just a can of touch up paint, and t-cut won’t do a damn thing when the dent it down to undercoat, which is what the white colour is). When someone dented my car door in a car park, I was quoted £400 to get it repaired (dealer). Hopefully the neighbours will accept a Chips Away repair bill instead of insisting on a dealer repair.

@stayathomegardener thank you for making this thread worthwhile!!!

Consider yourself fortunate.

Having seen the answers on this thread you should not realise that a 4yr old need supervision when playing out.

Pay the company that does the repair. Do not pay the neighbour cash under the promise they will get it done.

should now realise I meant

Pleasure.
Look ovals too!

I'd get your own quotes and compare them, OP given that you know the age and vehicle type and have images of the cosmetic damage. But yes ultimately I would absolutely pay up if I'd offered to do so and if my child damaged another persons property doing something they should not have been doing without proper supervision.

I would also probably pass the cctv footage of their daughter taking stones from my garden and throwing them and requesting that something be done about that before there's an accident- but I wouldn't expect that to go down well at the same time.

Oh god I'm so out of touch. Is it really a couple of hundred pounds to repair that chip?
Which means the damage done to mine by children cycling into it and smashing the tail light plus scratches will definitely be more than the £50 odd quid I had anticipated!

YOUR 4 YEAR OLD WAS PLAYING OUTSIDE ON HIS OWN?!?!?!?!?!?!?

@stayathomegardener not on a Google Pixel 6 😭 I just get a dot in the middle of the circle!

@Mummmybear03 your kid was seen to do the damage, you pay.

Woah @stayathomegardener!
You have totally blown my mind

So you let your 4yo old and be led by others. Take responsibility of their actions. Then look to deflect ownership on others? Then insult car by aging it. Its ok to be stoned if its not new? Then call into account other parenting when yours is questionable? That makes perfect sense! Not.

I'm agree it's irrelevant who started it, your child caused the damage. If he can't be trusted not to be easily led by others bad behaviour, then he needs to be supervised by you when out.

I think this proves why 4 y/o need supervision

Fair enough. I suggested it as an alternative to the T cut option that several other PPs had suggested.