My 4 year old damaged neighbours car

[Mummmybear03]

Hi all. My kids were playing on our street yesterday and one of them ran inside saying that my youngest who is 4 years old had thrown a stone and it has marked the neighbours visitors car. I immediately went round and before even seeing the damage I was very apologetic and said I would cover the repair damages. When I looked at the car there is the tiniest chip mark. A few kids were around us at the time and I asked who started throwing the stones, because my son wouldn’t just do that he copies people. It turns out it was said neighbours daughter who is 11. The parents were very off with me saying that it is irrelevant who started it. Clearly it isn’t because a 4 year old boy will copy what he has seen. I can away still saying that I would pay for the damage and apologising. I got my 4 year old who was very upset to apologise too. After coming away I checked cctv recording and it shows the neighbours daughter who’s car was damaged, was sat throwing stones at another boy on his bike and in the street. She has also taken my stones from my garden and thrown them out onto the road.
I am a reasonable person and if my child caused damage I would pay for it. But the fact he has copied their daughter makes me reluctant. And they’re were pretty arsy with me even though all I did was apologise and offer to pay. They said they will get a quote and get back to me. Just to note that it’s such a minor mark on a 9 year old car.
Any advice? Thanks.

Pay up and parent your child op 🤷‍♀️

Supervise your 4 year old in future. He’s not old enough to show good sense and it could have been a lot worse.

So because the car is 9 years old, it's more ok to be damaged? Behave.

A 4 year old out without adult supervision 😵 yes it’s your fault pay up, the damage isn’t that tiny, it’s all the way through the paintwork

Deffo only minor damage. Would you be happy with that OP? I wouldn't! Call the smart repairers and call it a lesson learned.

I would forward the neighbours your CCTV ask ask that they could kindly ask their DD to not throw stones in your son's presence as he will only copy.
I'd pay for the damage though.

Did you have an older sibling supervising your 4 year old? Otherwise you’re unreasonable in far more ways than one.

I hope you're a troll OP.

If not, you need to get some professional support with your children before something tragic hapoens.

I thought you were going to say something like your DS had opened his car door onto another car.

4 years old though? What were you thinking? He’s barely out of toddlerhood.

Your child caused the damage therefore you need to pay for repair. You can’t blame the other children, regardless of who started throwing first. Accept it and don’t let your 4 year old out unsupervised

Both.

Why on earth didn't you check the footage and car before going over there?

I'd say pay up and consider yourselves incredibly lucky that it was only minor damage to a car and not major damage to the child himself.
(Also checking in for advice on patching minor car scratches, we have a few ourselves that could do with a touch up.)

Why on earth did she let a four year old play outside with an 11 year old unpaid babysitter?

🙄 If i was the 11 year old I’d tell your kid to get lost every time they came out to play because I don’t want to be held responsible for him and whatever he gets up to next. She’s out playing 11 year old
games she’s not responsible for your 4 year old damaging cars

Clearly it isn’t because a 4 year old boy will copy what he has seen.

Therefore he should be supervised.

I mean a chip is the far lesser of two evils when you consider your kid could get run over.

Who lets a 4 year old play around cars?

Right. First thing I would have done.

This.

I don't think OP will be back.
Sorry to echo the above but you need to supervise your 4 year old.
I know what it's like on some estates- where I live children as young as 4 roam around on their own. I've never let DD, I always feel like the lone 'weirdo' parent hanging around her and the other kids but rather that than she damages someones' property or gets hurt.
Learn from this, pay to cover the damages, and try to avoid it happening again.

I agree with that, too!

The whole situation is nuts 4 year olds need to be watched by a responsible party who KNOW they're being responsible!

Your kid. Your responsibility to put it right. Your child doesn’t need to copy whatever other people are doing. It’s an important lesson to learn.

If he hasn’t learnt this lesson (and others) he isn’t old enough to be unsupervised

Just pay up.
Parents need to take responsibility for their kids.
I'm probably biased by the fact that some kids from a neighbouring street smashed my tail light last week when they came cycling round the corner too fast. They've left scratches down that side of the car too. Around £50 worth of damage which I cannot prioritise ATM due to other unexpected costs.
Parents refuse to accept responsibility and our neighbourhood is generally really friendly which I don't want to effect.

Unfortunately you will have to pay. Probably for the whole panel spraying annoyingly. Happened to us accidentally (dc totally innocently fell) and we had to pay for a whole panel despite it being a tiny mark on an old car. That is annoying especially as the car had other marks and scratches but that’s not relevant as they are entitled to a repair by whoever caused the damage. Ask them to allow you to get your own quote so you can negotiate cost.

I am a reasonable person and if my child caused damage I would pay for it.

Good you'll be paying for it then.

It's totally irrelevant that the other girl started throwing stones first.

You child is 4 and if they don't know that throwing stones and copying the naughty behaviours of other children is wrong, then they are not old enough or responsible enough to play out unsupervised by an adult.