My 4 year old damaged neighbours car

[Mummmybear03]

Hi all. My kids were playing on our street yesterday and one of them ran inside saying that my youngest who is 4 years old had thrown a stone and it has marked the neighbours visitors car. I immediately went round and before even seeing the damage I was very apologetic and said I would cover the repair damages. When I looked at the car there is the tiniest chip mark. A few kids were around us at the time and I asked who started throwing the stones, because my son wouldn’t just do that he copies people. It turns out it was said neighbours daughter who is 11. The parents were very off with me saying that it is irrelevant who started it. Clearly it isn’t because a 4 year old boy will copy what he has seen. I can away still saying that I would pay for the damage and apologising. I got my 4 year old who was very upset to apologise too. After coming away I checked cctv recording and it shows the neighbours daughter who’s car was damaged, was sat throwing stones at another boy on his bike and in the street. She has also taken my stones from my garden and thrown them out onto the road.
I am a reasonable person and if my child caused damage I would pay for it. But the fact he has copied their daughter makes me reluctant. And they’re were pretty arsy with me even though all I did was apologise and offer to pay. They said they will get a quote and get back to me. Just to note that it’s such a minor mark on a 9 year old car.
Any advice? Thanks.

All you can do in this situation is apologise and pay up. The fact someone else was doing it first isn't really relevant.

Dead right - nobody should be throwing stones at anyone else, or throwing them in the street. 11 is old enough to be aware of this.

So he is 4 years old and copied throwing stones.
You don't have CCTV of 11 year old throwing stones at the car, just at something else.
Could a 4 year old copy an 11 year old crossing the road? if he was run over, would it be the 11 year old's fault?
Could 4 year old copy a ten year old, or a 15 year old throwing bigger stones/broken bricks? Copying meant he smashed a window, would it be the 10-15 year old's fault?
Why is it not your other children's fault?
When you watched your child throwing stones, before they damaged a car, did you ask them to stop? so it's your fault!
Could it be the car's fault, because it damaged itself so easily?
Is any damage caused by a 4 year old, their fault, or the fault and responsibility of their parent?
Try teaching your son not to damage other people's property and also teach your other children not to watch and do nothing, whilst he threw stones at a car.

AND hide your knives, in case he copies using them, but if he did, it won't be his fault. It will be the fault of the 11 year old neighbour...🙄

Is it that very tiny white mark?

I would think that would polish out with a bit of T-cut

Your child threw the stone that hit the car. It's irrelevant what the girl was doing.

I'd be inclined to offer to get your own quote for repair rather than let them get a quote, take your cash and probably never fix it because it is so minor. Pay the repair person directly rather than pay the neighbour.

4!!!!! Ffs

If your unsupervised 4 year old threw the stone that chipped the car then you pay.

The older kids are perhaps old enough to aim better away from the cars. It is not their responsibility to childmind for you.

Actions, such as leaving such a young child to their own devices, next to a road and cars have natural consequences for adults too. Be thankful the only consequence was a chipped car.

I’m gobsmacked you would allow a four year old out in the street without an adult.

A chip in the neighbours car is a minor outcome really, but yes, of course you have to pay.

Should be a minor repair but no way would I let a 4 year old play out in the street unsupervised. I’m quite shocked you would.

It doesn't matter that it's only a minor chip and it doesn't matter who he was copying.

He threw the stone that caused the damage to someone else's property.

If he's so easily led (which is completely understandable given his age) he needs to be fully supervised.
Next time the kids could all be playing chicken, and saying 'but he was copying your kid' won't get him out of intensive care any quicker.

It rained buckets in Birmingham yesterday. The Test match was stopped. No 4 year old child should be out unsupervised though. If your child threw the stone that hit the car then you will have to cover the cost. Chips away do it for a reasonable charge. If your 4 year old is playing outside again maybe take a coffee and a chair and go out with him. Or take him to a play park.

"I am a reasonable person and if my child caused damage I would pay for it."

But your child has caused damage and you are now quibbling about paying for it.

Where are you ? It’s bucketed down here on and off for the past two days along with spectacular thunder and lightning !!

A 4 year old should never been out in the street without supervision in the first place.

Tell them to stick their quote somewhere a stone can’t be thrown.

It should be a minor fix, a couple hundred quid if they accept getting one of those chips away mobile people out. We had them out a couple of weeks ago when a neighbours visitor accidently scuffed our car when reversing. Just a slight scuff on a 10 year old car, but still its is my car and we take care of it.

That is a fair sized chip, right through the paint, and I would expect it fixed on our 10 year old car too!

After coming away I checked cctv recording and it shows the neighbours daughter who’s car was damaged, was sat throwing stones at another boy on his bike and in the street.

Whose car was it? The neighbour's visitor? The neighbour's daughter? The neighbour's visitor's daughter?

It’s pretty normal for 4yr olds to be out playing where I live. Always has been. I still don’t allow my 8yr old out unsupervised but he’s asd.
Op I can see why you’re miffed but if your child is the one who threw the stone that damaged the car then you need to pay. If they are all throwing stones and it was just easiest to blame the youngest then that’s a different matter.
My youngest isn’t allowed out as I say but still managed to damage next door car. Their drive is next to our back garden fence. 6ft fence and he managed to throw an iron bar over it a few of years ago. (Yes he shouldn’t have had access to an iron bar!) Thankfully the neighbour was lovely and said one more scratch made no difference. These are the joys of kids sometimes

Where was the 11 year old sat when she was throwing stones? If she was out on the pavement or road then you need to reset your CCTV so that it doesn't film outside of the parameters of your property.

if your dc is too young ahem to not copy older kids then theyre not old enough to be o9utside playing alone

im being rather nice about it because i cant stand people just letting their kids run riot and then wondering why something happedend

It’s pretty normal for 4yr olds to be out playing where I live.

It might be 'normal' where you live but that doesn't mean it's at all acceptable.

Well sorry but people letting 4 year olds out unsupervised and neglectful and lax parents!

He was “copying” her? Good job he didn’t copy her running across the road as he may have been a bit slower and got hit by a car.

This. He isn’t old enough as this incident demonstrates. You need to pay as he’s the one who did the damage. The other kid was sensible enough to not damage a car.

I see lots of children of 4 roaming around locally and other areas with their siblings and sometimes acting stupidly but that’s not what I’d let my sole 4 year old if I had one do.

My DNephew is almost 5 and he has sort of an idea of what’s right and wrong but he’s easily led astray (as are they all at that age).

When I was a child there was a family who used to just let their little children wander the street. They would be in and out of houses and their parents never knew. That was in the 1990s. I can't believe there are still people who think it's safe to leave their small children unsupervised in the street. Children that young do not have enough awareness of danger and lack so much common sense.