My 4 year old damaged neighbours car

[Mummmybear03]

Hi all. My kids were playing on our street yesterday and one of them ran inside saying that my youngest who is 4 years old had thrown a stone and it has marked the neighbours visitors car. I immediately went round and before even seeing the damage I was very apologetic and said I would cover the repair damages. When I looked at the car there is the tiniest chip mark. A few kids were around us at the time and I asked who started throwing the stones, because my son wouldn’t just do that he copies people. It turns out it was said neighbours daughter who is 11. The parents were very off with me saying that it is irrelevant who started it. Clearly it isn’t because a 4 year old boy will copy what he has seen. I can away still saying that I would pay for the damage and apologising. I got my 4 year old who was very upset to apologise too. After coming away I checked cctv recording and it shows the neighbours daughter who’s car was damaged, was sat throwing stones at another boy on his bike and in the street. She has also taken my stones from my garden and thrown them out onto the road.
I am a reasonable person and if my child caused damage I would pay for it. But the fact he has copied their daughter makes me reluctant. And they’re were pretty arsy with me even though all I did was apologise and offer to pay. They said they will get a quote and get back to me. Just to note that it’s such a minor mark on a 9 year old car.
Any advice? Thanks.

If he’s so young that he (or you) can’t take responsibility for his actions then he’s too young to be out without supervision

Why was your 4yo out unsupervised?

Surely it’s up to parents to risk assess and decide what’s acceptable? I mean I don’t entirely disagree with you, it’s not for me, but then I have always just thought maybe my children are just that little bit less mature (they are tbf). I think the risk here is fairly low, though obviously there’s always some. One way in/out estate in the country where most people know eachother at least hello level. Parents all look out for any of the kids etc. People who live here know to watch for kids playing- issue is people who don’t though.
I agree with another poster that if ops child is the type to copy others then that in itself is a risk. But most people just seem shocked that a 4yr old is out without parents and I thought maybe they live somewhere like me where it’s just average. I’m sure she’s checking on them regularly.

Actually that chip could have been there for a while.
Your neighbours will have no evidence that proves your ds did it.
Next time, don't be so quick to go around and claim responsibility.
I say this as someone whose car (1 month) old was damaged by my neighbours car when they opened their door onto mine. I have no proof but the timings work

@PuffinsRocks it rained here (west of London) Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

OP, I think it's down to you - whether your 4 yo copied or not. they apparently caused the damage. I had a small chip and tiny dent on my newish car a few weeks ago also caused by a neighbour's child, and it was £350 incl VAT to repair.

Absolutely this

Lesson learned don't let your 4 year old unattended. They are far to young the be safe playing out let alone know what damage they are doing by throwing stones. My 11 year old wouldn't even be allowed to take out my nearly 4 year old to play. Pay for the damage and watch your child closer.

You've literally just said that your child is too young to be responsible for himself yet he was unsupervised.

It's a cheap lesson that your kid needs more supervision.

This if you know he will copy bad behaviour he shouldn't be out I supervised. You should pay he damaged the car although saying that I don't see the damage

for those of you commenting on the rain I live in central southern england and it didn`t rain until late afternoon and even then not for long and was not heavy.

Surely it’s up to parents to risk assess

yeah and part of that risk assessment should be if he causes any damage while out unsupervised I’ll pay for it.

The only relevant information here is that your DD damaged the neighbour’s car and therefore you should cover the cost of the repair. What the neighbour’s child did or didn’t do is irrelevant to that.

I will also add to the chorus of replies saying that 4 years old is way too young to be playing out in the street unsupervised.

@Clymene completely missing the point of the thread but I discovered recently when marking up a photo if you hold your finger down after drawing it automatically perfects your circle.

Same for triangles, squares, rectangles and stars.

Probably my most exciting revelation this year

Look after your kids and then you won’t get any nasty surprises.

You owe them the money as your kid damaged the car.

@stayathomegardener

OMG

Game changer

• all those scruffy pics I send to DD

Risk assess a 4 year old unsupervised? It’s bad parenting.

No risk assessment needed at all!

Absolutely! I even impressed my 24 year old with it, that never happens.

Quite. If you know your child copies other peoples behaviour then you are the one responsible for making sure he has good role models, not blaming your lack of parenting on an 11 year old.

Not everybody lives in the same place. Weather varies. It's been pouring with rain where I live.

how do you risk assess for a 4 year old outside ffs

does noone remember april jones

Your child threw a stone that damaged the car. Who else did what is irrelevant. He copied the older child because he was left unsupervised. This was not an accident. It was completely avoidable.
I don't think you're wrong to mention the other child's behaviour.....but as an aside.

https://www.paintnuts.co.uk/category/colour-matched-paint. This might be worth a try. Dc1 used it to cover a couple of minor scratches on a new car and it did a great job.
And of course you should pay. You can't expect an 11 year old to be responsible for your 4 year old.

Advice is parent your 4 year old. Why was he unsupervised?

and pay up.

Your child caused the damage.

I agree with many PP

1 - 4 year old shouldn’t be out alone

2 - doesn’t matter what the 11 year old was doing, obviously she’s older with better aim. Your son caused the damage so you pay.

It’s not a big deal, he’ll be upset, you’ll be annoyed to be out of pocket. These things happen 🤷🏼‍♀️ be a story when his an adult!

If you knew he copies others why are you letting him play with older children?

I'm all for kids playing outside but you knew your four year old is immature an slimy go copy others so you are at fault for not supervising him.