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Original poster

Help. I'm a step mum with one baby and I want more

128 replies

SodaPoppy · 11/06/2023 06:30

I need some advice/help.
I desperately want another baby. My DH does not.
3 years ago, his ex wife killed herself and I took on his two children, 6 and 9, without hesitation. We were only 11 months into the relationship at the time. We then tried to have one of our own and we lost her at 22 weeks. We have just had our rainbow baby and he is 5 months old and I want to have another. I feel like I made a huge sacrifice taking on his children and I didn't know that the small print was that I was swapping my own children for them. If I had known, it may have been different but we are amazing as a couple and I don't want to leave to have another baby. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Passionfruitroulade · 13/06/2023 08:09

SodaPoppy · 13/06/2023 00:32

@Passionfruitroulade oh really? I mean we haven't touched a penny of it but it's would take the pressure off during the non existent maternity leave I had. Due to owning my own company, pressures made me go back, all be it part time, at 12 weeks and juggling being a mum of three and running my business and keeping a house tidy is tough!

Your dh will know what was agreed with his ex during the consent order discussions in relation to LA

aSofaNearYou · 13/06/2023 09:59

@Bagsundermyeyestoday what a revoltingly unempathetic comment.

And she has one child, she has not been "gifted" three at all. People need to realise that that statement does the absolute opposite of endearing you to your SC. It is gaslighting you into seeing them as something they aren't and feeling guilty for having feelings that reflect the reality of the situation - in this case, that she has one living child, and can't have more because her DH, NOT her, has three.

Coming out with the sentiment "I can't understand why you're not just happy with your SC" will not help and just displays your own ignorance.

aSofaNearYou · 13/06/2023 10:00

CuteCillian · 12/06/2023 20:34

Life has given you 3 children, in a different way to your wants. Focus on them.
This is a beautiful sentiment.

No it isn't, it's cruel and awful.

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