Worrying I am getting too old for baby number 2 - help

[ssummers]

My ds is 5. I desperately want another child - maybe 2!

Because of circumstance (I am very overweight and need to loose some weight) and finances it could be another 1 year before we can start trying for our second child.

This is really effecting me. I am 33 in April and I am worrying that I am getting too old.

I need advice as to whether I am worrying over nothing. All my friends with kids are younger and this makes me feel old! lol

thanks

I was 20 with my first, 23 with my second and if I hadnt had a miscarriage in Dec I would have been 28 with my third.

40+3d with my first

30 with my first and almost 35 with my second. I wasn't seen as an old Mum either time, infact DS's friends' parents are mainly older than me and DD's friends' parents are the same or no more than 5 years younger. Concentrate on getting yourself fit for pregnancy and stop worrying about your age, you're a spring chicken!

i was 32, and both my sisters had theirs at 16. part of me thinks its better to be older: im definately more sorted than when i was younger. and anyway, i didn't want kids EVER until i turned 31 and suddenly desperately wanted one. so i think im a better mum for being older. my little sister (who got preggers at 15) no longer lives with her kids and is into clubbing loads and obsessed with fashion. bless her. i still go out a fair bit, but i don't feel desperate to party all night every night like i did when i was younger.
however, sometimes i think if i was younger i would have more energy, so there are downsides to kids at all ages!

oh, the risk of certain diseases does seem to go up a lot after 35, and definately after 40, but 33 is young.

not sure whether you think 33 is too old physically or mentally. physically, provided the weight thing gets sorted (whcih is as much for your health as anything) you'll be absolutely fine particularly as you know you can conceive. mentally you really are as young or old as you feel! i had my first at 29 (well- let's face it 4 weeks before turning 30) and am now pg with my second and will be 32 in 3 weeks. i am italian and compared to people back home, i am considered a freak for being so young (all my cousins had their first at 38 or plus). here i think i am average, but i am sure in different circumstances i would be quite old. of course you compare to others, it's all relative. but in the end it really does not matter! you'll prob find that some things will be harder than with your first, while others will be massively easier...

ok, enough rambling now!

I had my FIRST at 32 and my second one month before my 41ST!!!!! You are defo not too old. Is there somethign else holding you back??????????

OH and hi to MAEBEE! Where have we met before? Was it SIFTW???

I am 36. I had our second at 33. It was a lot harder for me the second time around because I had not lost the "pregnancy weight" yet when I fell pregnant with nr 2, so was an "overweight" expectant mum. This put a strain to all my joints, especially knee joints, and ancle joints as I was very heavy. The biggest hardship was on my pelvis though.

I dont think you are too old, but would encourage you to be strong, fit and healthy for your pregnancy, and for your future as a mum of 2 (or 3) as you will need it!

I think it all depends on what you feel comfortable with. I had turned 20 2 weeks before having dd last May. Because of this, I don't feel comfortable in having babies in my 30's/40's. I don't like the idea of having babies later on as I've had my dd very young, when she's 20 I'll have just turned 40 and can go off and do whatever I've missed out on doing now, does that make sense? And I'll still be young enough to do it.

I suppose I've done things the opposite way round. But in all honesty, and I don't mean to offend anybody, I'm a young fit 20yo mum, I personally don't think I could see myself being able to do this at 40. I'm exhausted as it is lol. But then, I'm also a single mum so I suppose that adds to the tiredness!

I'd say, you're only ever as old as you feel. Go for it if that's what you want.

I will be just over a month off 41 when this little one is born. I had trouble conceiving in a previous relationship and once I hit 40 I had assumed it was not going to happen, stared to accept this and made plans for a life without children. Ooops one very happy accident I am over weight which adds extra problems for me during the pregnancy and birth so it is not ideal but most things can be got around. I a older than I expected to be but then being an older parent can have it's advantages as well as it's disadvantages

Had first DD at 40. She is now 9 months so going for number 2. The only advice I can give anyone on an older (I think the technical word they used was geriatric) mother is that it isn't weight or age that should be your number one concerrn but how healthy you are both mentally and physically.
I am overweight / obese on the BMH scale but a size 14/16 which is menat to be normal. I did lots of walking (ideally in country not town) and streatchy excersises whilst trying for and during pregnacy. I had a great pregnancy, a natural birth despite induction ( water and G&A) with no tearing despite a 9lbs 11 baby and have coped with 5 months of no sleep. A few sessions of accupuncture to stop me going stir crazy and both baby and I are doing really well.

cruisemum: hello! yes, it was siftw! and am delighted to no longer be on it. the little blighter is still an early riser, but he usually sleeps through now. good god, those nights gone by were hard!

I agree that you are not too old. I am overweight and have been for the last 10 years or so. I had my first child at 37 and my second at 41. I ate sensibly throughout my pregnancies and both times was a stone lighter than my pre pregnancy weight after giving birth. I did not diet when pregnant but cut out a lot of unhealthy food so my weight changed naturally. It did take me about a year to get pregnant each time which could be due to the excess weight (but who knows). Today you are not considered old having a baby later on but my mum was 44 when she had me (in 1964) and in that day and age she was considered old. I think one problem -for some people - with having babies later on is that their children can lose out on grandparents. Because my mother was old when she had me and I left having children until later on she died (aged 77) two years before I had my first child and I missed having her around when pregnant, also my children only have one set of grandparents and never knew her (my father died when I was young).

Everyone seems like spring chickens to me...! I was 41 when I had my DD in 2006....and 25 weeks preggie with DC 2 and am 42 - 43 later this year.

Have to say that it wasn't a lifestyle choice - no holding out for a big career move - just that I didn't meet the right guy (or any guy...worth having kids with ) until I met DP just before my 40th birthday. Within 6 months I was pregnant - and I was so lucky to fall preggers again at 1st attempt this time round.

I know I have easily as much - if not more - energy than other younger mums and I've always been a bit immature - so maybe that's actually been a help! Met a first time mum the other day - who was 46....and she looked totally amazing...so we're out there!

Was 37 when I had my son and 38 when I had my daughter (yikes)...thats it for a while...never say never and it wouldn't bother me in the least if I was over 40 when I had my third (but would probably get a maternity nurse for the first 6 weeks next time !!!)...only joking

What is relevant is YOUR fertility. If you were super fertile at 25, even if it halves by 30, and halves again by 35 you'll still be more fertile than someone aged 20 with fertility problems. With proven fertility and only 33, my layman's guess is that fertility looks good.

I would say you should try when you feel ready - if, god forbid, you conceived quickly and then have a difficult pregnancy exacerbated by your weight, you'd be kicking yourself you didn't wait even a couple of months to get some weight off. Do what feels right for you and your family.

Some of the fertility decline horror stories just set you in the wrong frame of mind, IMHO. I had first baby at 33, second twenty months later at 34. Baby number one was a planned honeymoon baby, DH and I had plan for next one sometime later. But thanks to one of said scary stories, I panicked, said we had to start trying because it would take ages. And got pg first time, having not learned lesson of honeymoon experience!

If hormones were to be believed, I'd have another a few more babies immediately but finance, health, logic and sanity dictate we will wait a couple more years.

yeah, Im an older mum too, fossiled one might speculate! I married at a ripe old age of 39, 6 weeks off my 40th bday. Got pregnant on honeymoon, but lost that, then fell preggy 3 months after MC. DS popped out just after I was 41. Then had DD at 43 and 2 months.

I agree with someone else on this thread, it is not ALWAYS to do with age (altho this does play a big part for some)... but more to do with your state of mind and health in general.

I was sooooooooooo darn fit before DS came along, like really fit. Then I just got ill. I just g.o.t ill! Turns out I have CFS, and so now, with DD I have to set my limits and not move outside of them. So I couldnt have a day with the kids, then go out at night, or have a day out with the kids and go home and cook a dinner etc.

Im currently trying to work out the root cause of my CFS, and understanding if its a mental head thang or truly a physical thang. iykwim.

Anyway, both my two are exceptionally healthy, other than DS who needs gromits. HTH

I had my first at 24 and then decided I couldn't cope with any more children. When I hit my 30's,hormones took over and I fell pregnant with twins in the first month of trying,I was 32 . Six months after coming off the pill I was pregnant with dd4 but as we weren't actively "trying" I don't know if that was due to my age (35) or just "luck"!

Message withdrawn

1st baby at 32 and 2nd at 35. Dithering about whether to go for number 3. (I'm 36).

ss, you have plenty of time imho

Please help,

I have a ten month old who is exclusively breastfed. she is a good weight (20 lbs) and eats 3 meals a day, although not always large amounts . Am trying to wean her of the breast, but she does not take much water/ juice from beaker. Has refused bottle also. Has only few sips of water. Want to get pregnant again, but am unsure whether I can while I am breastfeeding? Have managed to cut down on night feeds thanks to my husband's help at night times. She has 4 milk feeds a day now, 10ish, 2ish, 7ish then 10.30ish. is that too many? Have tried to stop her lunch feed, but she goes hysterical if I offer juice/water instead of milk. Due to go back to work in 2 months, therefore she won't get her lunchtime milk. Am panicking now. Enjoy breastfeeding, but want to try for another baby and also have to consider work situation. have tried to express, but unsuccessful so far. Please help.

Hello gr
It's a good idea to start a new thread with a new title (something like "weaning 10 month old baby off breastmilk"). People will be more likely to see it and you will get more replies.
I found that DD would take a bottle of formula from other people, but not me at first. I was most successful when she was really tired and not so observant!

Don't worry - I had my 1st at 31, 2nd at 33 and am pregnant with #3 at age 39. You've got plenty of time.