Worrying I am getting too old for baby number 2 - help

[ssummers]

My ds is 5. I desperately want another child - maybe 2!

Because of circumstance (I am very overweight and need to loose some weight) and finances it could be another 1 year before we can start trying for our second child.

This is really effecting me. I am 33 in April and I am worrying that I am getting too old.

I need advice as to whether I am worrying over nothing. All my friends with kids are younger and this makes me feel old! lol

thanks

had my 1st at 33, and my 2nd 8mo ago at 38.

am secretly longing for another one before I'm 40.

ssummers - I think you've got the gist that you're not too old, but I'll add my comment anyway, as I am both 34, very overweight, and newly pregnant with number 2.

How are you intending to lose weight? Are you aware that if you do Slimming World then you can continue it throughout pregnancy? I did this with dd, and was lighter a week after her birth than I was pre-pregnancy.

I am sadly heavier this time around, but still managed to conceive quicker than I did with dd.

Of course you're not too old ssummers - good luck with it all!

TBH, I feel in a bit of a minority (just turned 27, 38 weeks pg with 2nd) - and NONE of my school or uni friends are even close to thinking about having kids. I've made lots of friends with mums who are early 30s-40s which is great, but we're still at quite different life-stages so I think they all bond a bit quicker than I do. I do feel fortunate to have found my DH etc which quite young, but it's a teeny bit lonely sometimes!

Sorry, meant 'while quite young'

Had my first at 38 and just had my 2nd (and last!!)at the ripe old age of 41.

oh gawd i thought you were going to be 55 or something

33 is nowt, i do nct class supporting, most of the first timers are at least that

good luck

oh and i was 25 with 1st, 27 with 2nd and 30 with 3rd

I felt too young 1st 2 times and actually wished I was older so I'd fit in...

The average age of the mums at our local maternity unit is something crazy like 37. I was 35 when I had DD (now 3) and still hopeful my ovaries haven't totally packed up yet. Mind you, the hospital tests I had last month to check everything was still working okay weren't exactly fun!

ssummers

22 cd1
25 cd2

I am now 36 and eagerly anticipating wether im pregnant with number 3! 33 is still very young, lots of my friends are only just havin there families, where i did start relatively early, both unplanned , but great !

I am 30 and pg with my 3rd (1st preg at 25). Compared to other mums at nursery/ toddler groups etc I am one of the youngest and none of my uni friends, or friends my own age, are at the baby stage yet - I doubt that most of them will start until early/mid 30s. DH is older though. Would prob have waited longer if he'd been my age!

i was 39 yrs nearly 40!!! when i had my first (Twins)...big surprise and not planned but it happened! I didn't feel old at all (although 3 years on I do now!!) only joking when i had my babies i was at hospital often because i was having twins and classed as old! but there were other mothers there who were lots older than me!! so you are still a young thing yet!!

...And I was 43 when I had my DD. Trying for a second now at 44. No problems with the age thing from my point of view although I have been mistaken for her grandmother (it's TIREDNESS, ok!?)

ditto what has been said, as an oldie of 46 , had ds at 44, get a bit tired , but he's wonderful.

I was 16 with no-1, 28 with no-2 and will be 32 when I have this one I'm carrying now!

I've had children over 3 decades!!

Had DS1 at 35 and DS2 at 37. Would love to have two more but not sure what DH would say!!

Had my DS1 at 40 and two weeks, I wanted to have him on my due date as all my friends were doing something exciting for their 40ths (hot air balloon rides, parachue jumps etc) and I thought no one would be able to match giving birth! I was initially worried I would be the oldest mother in town but where I live there are loads of mothers over 35 and I am lucky as (I am told) I look a lot younger. I am now trying for DS2 and so happy I had my little man. I am now just 41.

ssummers,

I read this thread expecting to find you in the same situation i find myself in

however it is totally the oposite. I am 21 with a 13 month dd and i am finding all the other mums I meet are at least 10 years older than me, it is very strange

i hope your not too old lol otherwise i need to get moving lol
i had ds when i was 17
dd at 25.
am now 27 and would like more but need to find "mr perfect" lol to have them with. still reading these posts has made me breath a sigh of releif i have plenty of time to finish my studies before i need to start panic over my age and singleness ( if thats a word). so like someone else(sorry can't remmber who said they had babies over 3 decades looks like i'll be joining you iin the not so near future!
good luck to all those ttc

echo the sentiment in most of these posts. 33 is positivly young these days.

33 is young. I'm still worrying about accidentally getting up the duff at 47!

What an interesting thread, and reassuring answers.

I can really identify with the fears that ssummers has about being too old.

I am 28, had my twins at 23, and kind of imagined that I would have another one around this age. However, I started studying and have enjoyed it so much that I have ended up doing a very worthwhile full time course and another part time one this year. By June I should have some very good qualifications, and following a work experience placement which I really enjoyed and earned fantastic feedback, I am now looking forward to going back to work part time for a few years.

However this has put the baby plans on hold, and in my mind I think what if it's too late, and how I don't really want to sacrifice my chances of having more by working.

Anyway you mumsnetters have put my mind at rest and made me realise that it is in fact quite normal to have kids in your thirties and forties.

I was 35 with ds1 a very pleasant and loved suprise. I couldn't see myself with children - very career orientated. married dh and ds2 came along when I was 39 (2 months short of 40!). As long as you love them you are never too old.

lol at worrying about being pregnant or menopause. we had a 'scare' before christmas, now for me 42 with dh being 48 we are tooooo old and we have 2 (plus ss age 16). I've done my bit.

You're definitely not too old. I'm 21 in a few weeks and 38 weeks pregnant and pretty much everyone I meet in an ante-natal variety are mid to late 30s. Doesn't bother me too much as I have been working for 5 years and used to dealing with all sorts of people but I think it certainly bothers some of them!

In my opinion, early 30s is just perfect.

My friend asked me what my 'motives' for having another child are. And I have given this some thought. And I just don't know. It is certainly not to cement a flagging relationship with dh. Do I need to carefully examine my 'motives' ?