The ALL NEW 2 Under Two Thread..Follow me ladies!

[SuperGrrrl]

Here we go- new thread so we don't put off any newbies!

Hello Runtus- join us here

Yesterday went from bad to worse-low point was sitting in a quiet corner of the library crying my eyes out, whilst the girls slept in the buggy (the only place they will sleep at the moment). Dd1 really poorly last night, temperature, and constant crying, it was horrible, and dh ended up sleeping on the sofa, cuddling her, so that I could have dd2 in bed with me because she is teething and has a cold! If i said that it gets easier then ignore me, I'm obviously speaking rubbish! Ok I know it's just a blip (God I hope it's just a blip!).

Hope you are better after your stomach thing chaotica, I'm hoping that all illness will cease when the weather gets warmer.Cardigan over sleeping bag, what a brilliant idea, I usually faff around trying to find blankets etc, I will remember this.

Hello all the new people, I can't remember who asked, but I have both dd's in together, dd2 went in with dd1 when she left our room at 6 months. It kind of half works with us, most of the time, they ignore the other if one is crying, but occasionally they will wake each other up, and if one is having a really bad night we bring her in with us. I do think it will be nice for them as they grow up, but am dreading nights like, taking dd2's dummy away already!

Hope you have a fantastic birthday and day out Supergrrrl, I haven't found anyone willing to look after both girls yet, but can imagine it's a nightmare to plan!

Awww, HJ. Hugs (or at least cyber ones) from me. Sometimes it's so tough to get through the day...

(I moaned to dp last night and he really didn't understand - said I should be enjoying my maternity leave ... which I do on the good days...)

(((hugs))) from me too hj. haven't reached proper lows, yet....
bit fed up today as dh back from work, but had invited a friend round to meet ds2 who overstayed his welcome. i got left doing ds1's tea on my own, and now dh is going out for a work dinner too. anyway, think i will have to talk parents into a chinese

i have dipped ds2 into ds1's bath a few times but obv i have had others with me to help so far. palling to bath them together even when on my own ds1 stays in for ages so i have time to 'dip and dress' ds2 if i'm organised with his clothes, etc.

planning to move ds2 out of our room in the next few weeks/months (moved ds1 at 10wks) but into his own room until he sleeps through reliably. think may leave it like that for a while until no 3 () is due/planned and the boys can move in together.

right, sending dh upstairs with ds1, think i deserve a few mins peace before ds2 wakes...

hello....can i join? I have s DDs - 17 months and 4 months. Most days are fine but at the moment the 17 month old is having such tantrums!!
I am just so tired looking after the 2 of them that a tantrum sometimes feels like the last straw!! In the week its not too bad but DH just panders to her so that on the weekend she is worse as she knows she will get away with things - anyone else with a DH like this?
Sometimes just feel like such a crap parent as feel like I could just lose my temper so badly !!

How do you deal with meltdows?
Sorry.....a real moan of a first post !! off to get a glass of wine !

Hello lots of new people!

I did a thread on how to bath a newborn and 14mo old and got loads of useful advice. I recently posted on it how I got on and my technique. I have to bath on my own a couple of nights a week. Its fine, its scarier thinking about it than actually doing. As long as you remember the worst that can happen is that they both end up crying, which always happens when they are both just out of the bath.

Saying that tonight whilst I was dressing DS4mo I turned round to do DD18mo and found she had put her PJs, nappy, cream, my socks in the bath which had been on a basket beside the bath.

HazeyJ, sorry to hear your library experience, I can totally relate. I find lack of sleep is the number 1 cause of me having a meltdown, not coping, or feeling tearful. Dont know what else to say but you are not alone...

HJ- I can relate to that too! dd was ill like that just after Christmas- I spent 3 nights on sofa with her cos she cried in our bed and if dh had her so only way was propped up on me on sofa and cos I'm pg and couldn't get up to wee I lay there awake for 3 nights- thought my world had ended!!!

After 3rd night I went to gp and cried for antibiotics- gp took one look at us both and prescribed them- she said usually the mums look rough but the babies looked fine- dd had red rimmed puffy eyes and looked like she hadn't slept for 3 weeks!

As soon as she started the antibiotics and medised things improved!!

Hope your lo's get better soon and you get some more sleep!

i have a hangover

also was v unhappy with how step mil was looking after DS2 when i got back yesterday- will have to fill you in later- feel like someone has pooed in my head.

at Cazwa's socks in the bath - though I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time!

My bathing question is this - how on earth do people manage to get themselves showered / bathed with a toddler and a little one? I can do it with one or the other but I just haven't figured out how to manage it with both in tow! I've been waiting til dd1 goes down for a nap then showering with dd2 outside the shower in her bouncy chair - but I do end up feeling like a smelly hobo all morning..

Supergrrl, hope the hangover was the result of a good night out! What did stepMIL do, or not do possibly??

Taliac - I shower the night before! No way I can do it in the morning. When the oldest wakes up I throw loads of books into her cot and dive into the bathroom, wash my face and get dressed with clothes laid out from night before. I then get her ready and usually DS wakes up during this and he gets chucked in her cot until she is ready, then its his turn. Its totally hectic and noisy. I would love a relaxing start to the day, I always feel like Im in the spin cycle of a washing machine in the morning.

Had 3 mornings in a row of 6am starts. I am starting to feel it now . That is on top of broken nights with both up...

Evening to you all and welcome to anymore new newcomers!

Luckily I have not had to bath both children so far and my DH is always there. I do the 23 month old and he does the 8 week old. This works well for us. They do end up in the bath at the same time so we are all in there laughing and coocing at little Izzy, plus Freya likes having us all together. No idea how I'll manahe alone though. I suspect with a bit of extra crying from both children - DD1 when I'm giving attention to DD2 and DD2 when I have to lay her down to get DD1 ouyt of bath etc. Yop not looking forward to that one. OR - and this is my favourite - ask my mum to come around for dinner, cook for her, and then ask her to help with bathtime

DD1 still taking nappy off, she weed in her pillow this morning. Maybe she's just going to havr to realise what it's like to be wet before she stops? Who knows. For now as soon as she wakes I go straight in.

We are moving in a few days so any tips Hazey would be much appreciated! I am worried about the sound travelling upstairs in the new house. The house we are in now is a massive detached and the bedrooms aren't above the most used living areas (this house is a corporate let, paid for by my husband's company) but the new house is actually ours hence much smaller. Am I just stressing over nothing?!!

Did have a little chuckle about your socks in bath situation Cazwa, DD1 keeps puting things in the "washy" so today found my mum's leather gloves in there, a wooden spoon, her baby dfoll and some keys. Plus about 12 laundry liquid quishy things. What an intersting wash that would have been!!

Just waiting up to do the dreamfeed. Having my hair cut and full head highlights on Tues so can't wait for that.

xxx

Cazwa: she gave DS1 tea, even though i expressly said water or milk. what really upset me though was when i walked in the living room, and she was bouncing DS2 on her lap with a bottle FORCED in his mouth. there was milk running over his face, and he was making a whimpering noise. As soon as i saw it, i grabbed him off her, and he cuddled into me and fell asleep. DS2 isn't as easy going as DS1 was, he needs more fuss and entertaining- i told her of he was a bit grumpy he likes being stripped to his nappy on his playmat / tickled. she hadn't tried that, just forced milk down him, while bouncing him round, while she watched the rugby. i was livid. have told DH she not having either of them for a while now.

i feel so guilty that i went out, and that was how he was treated

Tea? Poor you, Supergrrrl. And poor DS2 what your MIL did with him sounds pretty bad to me. But don't beat yourself up and feel guilty about going out and having some fun away from them at least your mil didn't give DS1 beer and leave DS2 to cry it out. DS2 would have probably wanted his mum whatever (I think DS would and they're similar ages I think -- he often yells when I leave him with his dad.)

Gemy lol at your DD1's washing. I'm waiting for DD to do that at the mo' she just keeps tidying things into the bin instead.

Supergrrl, that is totally out of order of your MIL.
Giving a toddler tea is not normal, is she doing it to wind you up? Or am I the only one who hasnt heard of giving tea to babies/toddlers? I would be livid. Does your DH support you? I try and get my DH to deal with MIL on issues like this if he agrees with me.

it's step mil, so not his mother. he thinks she just daft rather than spiteful. anyway, teaching her a lesson by not letting her take them for a couple of months now. and then it won't be a note about the tea, it will be 'DO NOT GIVE A BABY TEA! IT'S FULL OF CAFFEINE AND STOPS THEM ABSORBING IRON!!!!'

and the way she was 'comforting' DS2 made me want to slap her.

going to have a mare today- got to take DS2 to get tear ducts unblocked as got eye infection which been resistant to antibiotics since born. Luckily DS1 can go to childminder at short notice (god i love her!) but got to get 2 busses to hospital. And i'm guessing unblocking a tear duct isn't fun for a 4mth old

Supergrrrl Ooh a step MIL I just lost one of those through divorce (although maybe I never really had one as I'm not married to DP). I'm sure she would have driven me crazy if she'd looked after the DCs (come to think of it, she still might get the chance ). At least it is easier to be critical without offending DP/DH... I don't like to be too critical of my 'in-laws' though as my own mother is a basket case, especially when it comes to kids and I'd probably come home to find them shut in a room crying (so they didn't get spoilt ) -- I'm so glad she's too old to look after them. (Oddly enough, she does actually love her grandkids, she just has an odd way of showing it...)

I hope your DS2 is OK, Supergrrrl. Sounds awful for him (and you).

We've just moved DD to a big bed so DS can have her nice cot. And we've had 2 nights of sleep all the same... Can it last??

Hi Bella23 and welcome.

Hope your move goes ok, Gemy. (And you cope with the smaller house -- once upon a time DP lived in corporate lets too, about the only time I'm ever going to almost live in a 5 bed off Trafalgar square for sure .) But I do like us having our own place.

How awful Supergrrrl. It is such a shame that some people (especially those who already have children) just cannot be trusted with your own. And it's prob a good idea for her not to see them anyway for a while, because if she did look after them now you'd be constantly worrying about them.

I would never trust my MIL to look after either of my children. But, even my mum has her moments. She lets DD1 play with anything. And it seems always to be the things I don;t let her - like my expensive makeup for example, or DD2s baby things (DD1 likes dragging then around on the floor, and I won't have it - though my mum thinks it's funny!) Don't even get me started in the tea thing....

Hope all is well for you chaotica, and indeed your corporate let sounds fabulous! Well, we go tomorrow but it had to end sometime....

I prob won't be around for a few days whilst we get the broadband sorted so wishing you all a good next few days (and nights!)

xxx

worst day ever yesterday- was pushed to the point that i thought i'd either burst into tears, or smack someone.

DS2 puked down my jeans just as was going to leave, no time to change. Had to wait ages for my 2nd bus to hospital as 1st bus couldn't take pushchair. 2nd bus came and about 12 students all pushed in front of me. A woman with a pushchair who was queing for a DIFFERENT bus decided she wanted mine and tried to start an arguement with me when i got on first.

Got there 5 mins late. Waited at one desk, got seen and sent to get card from another desk, came back to queue at 1st desk with card. Despite having an appointment, waited 2hrs with DS2 to be seen by doctor, who told me they weren't going to do anything and gave me the same info as GP has.

Smiled, said thankyou, phoned DH and told him if he didn't come out of work to drive me home, i may stab someone

So today is chill out day- painting followed by bath and that's it.

Sounds like an awful day supergrrrl, and to be told they were going to do nothing at the end of it all must have made you want to kill someone! Hope you have a nice relaxing day today.

Am starting to panic about impending birth of ds2 (well 98% sure its a ds!) I have a horrible cough and feel like crap, and keep waking in the night for hours and worrying about stuff. I need to be getting as much rest as possible at the moment, not lying awake for 2 hours in the night!!!!!!!!! Maybe i am in training for when we have another newborn.

On a good note, my new p&t pushchair arrived today - I am very excited as I have wanted one for ages!

hi Bella23.. Re meltdowns. I try the following methods, in roughly this order. A deep breath is essential before beginning.

a) distraction - ie whats that! can you see that aeroplane in the sky? Other distractions that work for me are letting her look at all the pictures on my phone (DD1+DD2, various of her friends and her fave soft toys are all on there..), and sometimes games of peekaboo / raspberry blowing. Ditto favourite toys/activities (stickers are popular round here at the moment.)

b) if distraction fails, ignoring the meltdown for a minute or two can sometimes work. You don't go anywhere, but you get on with something else for a bit and let it blow out. When its gone down to sobbing you give her a big hug and make it all better. And if it doesnt work, at least you've had a minute to pull yourself together and think of what to do next.

c) If distraction and ignoring haven't worked, I'll pull out the big guns. CBeebies stops even hysterical crying in its tracks. Offering raisins (or other favourite food) can sometimes work like magic. Both are rather close to bribery however so I save them for absolute last resort!

I found "Toddler Taming" by Christopher Green absolutely brilliant on tantrums by the way - gave me much more understanding of why she was having them, which in turn somehow made them easier for me to deal with.. I didnt automatically assume it was my poor parenting and therefore meltdown myself!

p & t- i am

discovered that when DS1 is yelling / fake crying for something, doing it back to him works! He looks v confused and then starts laughing. Genius!

i had 2 under 2, now they are 3 and 1.5 and let me tell you that after the first year, its wonderful. i would do it again

Sorry to post too late to give you any tips on moving Gemy, although I'm probably the worst person to give tips, as both dd's have been massively unsettled and ill, and our move was hell! Good luck with yours, and I hope you manage to settle your lo's well.

Supergrrl, your step mil sounds like a nightmare, my mum thinks inch thick marmalade and butter on a scone, and biscuits in the cot is good nutrition, and my fil made a strawberry jelly for dd1 when she was 4 months old!

Dd1 is being a nightmare at the moment, no sleep, tantrums and so clingy with dh that I think it's going to drive him insane. She is ill and unsettled, so I know she can't help it and she will get better, but it is so hard sometime's, dh and I go to bed as soon as the girls are in bed, because we are up every night with them!

Sounds like you had a crap time at the hospital, Supergrrl. We drove for nearly 2 hours for dd2's operation, and I had to pack food and overnight stuff for her and me, and then it was cancelled, beacause she had a cold (even though I'd told them this on the phone), we'll find out in 6 weeks when they are going to do it.I hope your ds2 is ok.

BTW thanks for all the hugs, I'm feeling pretty lonely here, because we are totally new to the area, and although I've been to a couple of toddler groups, I'm so knackered, I'm finding it hard to do anything more than smile and look gormless, so coming on here to moan, or read what everyone is up to is lovely, I just wish I was in a warm coffee shop eating cake whilst doing it rather than a cold bedroom (can't figure out heating here)with dh snoring in the background

aw hazeyjane, that sounds pants

i'm going to the toddler group at 9.30 today instead of yesterday's one. I'm hoping there'll be someone diff there, but i suspect it's the same people tbh. DS2 has jabs this afternoon then.

I'm going to bed once i've had a bath and watched Eastenders tonight- v tired.

DS1 is getting v trying at the moment too- being naughty and making eye contact while doing it, waiting for a reaction. He's taking nicely to the idea of sitting on potty with no nappy though, even if we've not done anything in it yet.

well playgroup was even worse. the only person who talked to me was the organiser, who asked me lots of questions about the kids, then looked surprised when i said i was with their dad, and we were married. She looked even more surprised that i had a job (which am on maternity from) Felt like she was looking down her nose a bit.

Someone came round telling people about another playgroup that was starting up, and told everyone but me. Then someone started making coffees....for everyone but me. It was like being 15 again, so left after less than an hour.

Oh Hazeyjane and Supergrrrl, that all sounds pants. It must be so tiring getting used to a new place, HJ. And that playgroup organiser and all the others sound awful, Supergrrrl. Remember her attitude is her problem not yours (and even if you were a single mum (and jobless), what right does she have to judge? -- Doesn't stop you being a great mum.) Daft cow (if I may put it politely ) (I have the opposite because everyone assumes that DP must be a DH as I'm an older mum and live with him... )

I'm off to playgroup too now. (Come to think of it, no-one ever offers me a cup of tea. ) Must get teddy and panda out of the washing machine before I go -- they began the day covered in sudocrem to treat various cuts and bruises

Good tips, Bella123, BTW (DD is being a bit wantonly naughty at the moment too -- I really feel we're on the way to 2... )