I don’t want to be with my kids every single day every minute and never getting a break but the difference is I don’t get a choice! So why does it matter if he doesn’t want to?
I'm totally with you. Socially it's implicitly accepted that men have the choice of whether to parent or not. They're not social outcasts when they leave their wife/mother of their child(ren), pay no maintenance and never see their kids. It's just "one of those things". Even if they go on to have more kids! Basically it may be "frowned on", but they're definitely not harshly judged. The system of CMS effectively supports fathers in doing this too, by letting them away with hiding finances/not paying child support.
Mothers though are not given the same flexibility of choice about whether they parent. Once she's pregnant and decides to keep the baby - if she needs to make that choice - a woman becomes bound for life by society's expectations about all aspects of her life. And that's taken for granted too by everybody!
It's something our daughters need to be made aware of. You basically shouldn't have children with a man, no matter how much of a good'un he is pre-kids, without being prepared to parent alone.
I'm not saying all fathers are bad and mothers good (my mother abused me so I know that's not true!), but men can basically walk away at any point, while mothers technically could, but
it's a totally different issue for them to do that. And that's fine, but men should face the same stigma.