My daydreaming scares my toddler?

[4EyesandBigThighs]

Anyone else’s kids get absolutely panicked when they spot you ‘zoning out’ - I can feel when I’m doing it, and my semi conscious knows when she’s watch me and starts to cry and tell me to stop it but it still takes me a few seconds to come out of it. I just tell her I’m ‘thinking’ as I don’t think she’ll understand daydreaming. But I find it bizarre that we staring blankly at one spot makes her so panicked?!

The fact you don't snap out of it immediately indicates something is a bit awry here.

So I’ve been having this conversation with my family this morning and me, my mum, my brother and his wife all do the exact same thing so I think it’s pretty normal 🤓

If you do something that scares your child and there's no medical reason for it, my advice would be to stop doing it.

Exactly, if you are in control of it which you say you are then stop doing it.

I remember my Mum doing this when I was small. She looked so sad that it scared me too. It isn't a normal behaviour and for her was linked to anxiety and depression. I'd look in to the reasons it might be happening for you too.

I was like this as a child and had a ‘zone out’ week. Like you know exactly what’s going on and it does take conscious effort to pull myself out of it.

I put it down to extreme fatigue. The ultimate grey area; not asleep nor awake.

*a zone LAST week! Not a whole week. I would in that event be straight to A&E 😂

All sounds really strange. But yeah, as others have pointed out, you say you can control it, and you know it scares your child, so simply stop doing it.

Hi OP I too am a prolific daydreamer. I zone out for a few seconds and have a blank stare. but I snap put of it almost immediately if something needs my attention. One of my children does it too. my children don’t seem alarmed by it and my husband and family just think its a a little quirk. Never once has anyone thought id put myself or my kids in danger, Ive never done it while driving for example and I dont do it when im
doing important work. Its like the brain knows its in a safe space to have a little daydream. The alarmist comments on here are bizarre of course its normal

This is literally a form of epilepsy so please go and get it checked out as it's dangerous, even if all your other family members do it and even if it doesn't make you feel ill or whatever.

Not all epilepsy is jerking around on the floor unconscious.

You know you're doing it and you know it scares your child so why don't you stop doing it around her? Stare into the abyss to your hearts content when she's in bed/not with you but don't knowingly do something that you're aware frightens her. You shouldn't need people to tell you that.

I'm just confused as to why you're laughing and being light-hearted about your child being afraid.

If I was doing something that was entirely voluntary that was scaring my child, I'd stop doing it? If it's not medical and you can control it, why are you choosing to scare your child?

This sounds very strange, are you zoning out a lot? I’m not surprised it scares her.

I do the zoning out thing. I have adhd, might be worth you looking into that? I'm certainly not a danger to my kids.

I'm autistic and I zone out. Sometimes it's necessary to self regulate. My kids are always safe at home so me staring slightly cross-eyed at the fireplace for a few minutes doesn't seem to bother them that much. My 8yo DS zones out too, same reason. My 4yo DD (undiagnosed) occasionally does. The other day she zoned out for ten seconds, jumped and said 'I just startled myself with my imagination' 😂

Not a big deal in our house.

I mean I daydream a lot but don't do this zoning out thing to the point where people notice. If it's not voluntary then I'd speak to a doctor. If it is voluntary maybe it's a case of finding a better time and place to do it.

it’s not really involuntary then you should stop doing it, as you are voluntarily scaring your toddler!

That's great. But it scares the OPs child. And she doesn't mention if she's autistic. So not comparable.

i think there’s a divide of people here who know what I’m talking about, and agree it’s not a concern.

then there’s the people who think I have some form of medical contusion that makes me a danger to my children.

when I say it’s not involuntary.. I mean it doesn’t just happen at any moment like a PP said crossing the road, making me any form of danger. But it does ‘just happen’ at home, or if I’m sat quietly thinking of something.. if if someone I’m speaking to says something that triggers a memory, or a situation where I’d start thinking about my reaction - then I go into a little daydream.

I can’t not do it, because I’m thinking and it’s more unreasonable to ask me to stop thinking 😂

I do find it slightly bizarre and funny that it makes her scared; she’s not in any danger and we’ve explained to her I’m just thinking - she’s fine as soon as I blink; she’s not traumatised or scared of me permanently. I think some of you might be being a bit precious.

My aunt had the type of epilepsy that caused absences, she couldn’t come out of it on demand, a few seconds or not.

I feel OP you are talking about doing that thing where you kind of unfocus your eyes for a minute and have a little daydream. I get that your toddler doesn’t like the look of you when you’re doing it but I doubt they’ll be traumatised. One of mine used to scream the house down whenever I put my hair in a ponytail 🤷‍♀️

I do find it slightly bizarre and funny that it makes her scared; she’s not in any danger and we’ve explained to her I’m just thinking - she’s fine as soon as I blink; she’s not traumatised or scared of me permanently. I think some of you might be being a bit precious.

How do you know how long you are ‘daydreaming’ for? The fact your DD is scared means it’s not a normal amount of time. If it’s upsetting her wth haven’t you stopped doing it, if as you say you can control it?

You can have a type of epilepsy where you think you are totally ‘there’ but people watching you say you are not! Maybe this is what your DD is seeing?

I wouldn’t be bloody laughing at it. At the very least you are purposely upsetting your DD!

If it's completely voluntary and you've got it 100% under control then there is no reason why you need to scare your child. Just stop it and just think without zoning out and daydreaming.

If you can't stop zoning out and daydreaming voluntarily then you need to speak to a doctor.

Asks a question, argues with every single answer that doesn't unequivocally agree, calls people precious for worrying about a frightened toddler.

Classic Mumsnet.

I understand what you mean op, I do it sometimes, just zoning out a bit and looking deep in thought (I'm told) involuntarily. I'm surprised people are jumping to it being a medical thing I think its pretty common?

I wouldn't necessarily say it must be bad if it scares your toddler either. When one of my DC was a toddler I cut myself shaving, the tiniest of nicks with a spot of blood going down my leg.. Well.... for about 3 years I had to make sure I never referenced me shaving or even buying razors in their presence as they'd burst into tears and shake!! Oh but the time I literally busted my face on a cupboard door and my tooth fell out at his feet......hilarious 🙄

It’s a prime age for irrational fears. My first was afraid of loose threads and my second of clouds.
Having said that, you are being oddly defensive of the idea that there could be a medical cause. But as you are so adamant there isn’t and that it is completely voluntary, perhaps stop doing it until she gets a bit older so as not to distress her?