Sensible cut off age for a man to father children?

[James637]

Question…

What age do you think is the latest a man should have children? People say 45 is the cut off really as you would be 65 when the child is 20. I’m 34 and worried I’m running out of time as not even in relationship! 🙈

My husband was 42 when we had our youngest, but it's balanced out by me being 29 😂

I would think it would depend how wealthy the man was . Being able to provide for when you are long gone makes a big difference .

I'd say 42 for both men and women

I’d say 45! I wouldn’t worry too much, dating in your 30s moves a lot quicker than in your 20s, saying that it’s a numbers game to meet someone. Have to be actively out and socialising.

DH was 45 when DD was born (I was 37). He had his first when he was 34 (she's his second). He definitely wouldn't have another! But he is very young at heart and no one believes he is now 48 so I think it depends on the person too

My DH was 57 when we had our first and 59 when we had our second.

We met when he was 50 and married when he was 54. he has no other children.

He's a great dad and the advantage was that he/ we were financially settled so could take a step back in his career to be the main parent while I continued working.

A planned for child, I'd say 40. I'm 37 and husband is 39. We were 21 and 23 with our first child (26 and 28 with our second) and have no plans for more kids.

But if my husband got me pregnant (and either of us were any age above 40), we would be having a baby.

Arghhh so stressful! Do you think the childfree miss out on the best and most joyful part of life??

I think early 50s is fine

Same!

I’d say 50, you’d want your youngest to turn 18 before you hit state pension age.

Me and DH got together when he was 42, had our first at 44 (& 31), we’d like 1 or 2 more.

How old are they now?

You're 34, you've got years yet! Just concentrate on getting out there and meeting as many people as possible to find the right relationship.

I'd say 42

I know a lot of older parents rhe energy and health problems becomes an issue mid 50s onwards

Also employment opps dry up mid 50s so need to be properly rich if plan to had children with a non earning man

Everyone thinks they'll be fine but know loads of parents mid 50s had kids late 40s and now either unemployed or with serious health issues, all unexpected

Be realistic. Most men have naps and slowing down by late 50s.

13 and 11

45-ish - same as for a woman. That way you are very likely to be around till they are in their 30s and sorted.

But ideally you’d be done by 40.

Are you dating?! It’s a numbers game..

I agree with you generally, but I think the idea that men are generally having naps in their 50s is a bit strong. Most of the men of that age I know are v much working full time and in the thick of it. Admittedly, they are not in manual jobs.

6 years until I’m 40 doesn’t seem like that long to meet someone, date and then have kids… anyone childfree? Is there always an empty feeling of missing out?

My Dad was older and by the time we were both school age was working part time from home, but mostly pottering with the school runs and the dinners and the laundry whilst my mum was still in full career mode. We have a lovely close relationship and the different in pace suited them both I think.
So I disagree that you have to be rich to pull it off but you do need realistic expectations around roles.

Do you think the childfree miss out on the best and most joyful part of life??

No

@BeastOfBODMAS
Your relationship with your dad sounds just like that between my daughter and husband. Having a semi retired dad who works from home has many benefits - we've rarely needed to use child care

40 for both and even then I think that's pushing it.

It’s possible to be childfree and happy.

It’s possible to meet someone in your late 30’s get hitched and have kids before 40.

It’s possible to adopt or foster older kids if you think you’re too old for babies.

You can make a happy life for yourself whatever path you end up taking.

Are your friends predominantly settled with children? Perhaps you need to widen your social circle. It’s very normal to be single but interested in a partner and children at your age.

We are Mid 50s - we have ben to a lot of funerals of men our age recently
You need to be able to see your children through Uni in my book