Sensible cut off age for a man to father children?

[James637]

Question…

What age do you think is the latest a man should have children? People say 45 is the cut off really as you would be 65 when the child is 20. I’m 34 and worried I’m running out of time as not even in relationship! 🙈

45ish

Early 40s I would say, before all your energy completely runs out. My friend has a 32 year old and became a father again from his second marriage age 53. Hes run ragged now age 69 dealing with the trials and tribulations of a teenage child. He looks permanently exhausted

38 for a woman and 42 for a man. The chances of a child with significant health problems just rockets as we age.

I think 40 for both

40

40yrs.

Most either have kids or are on the brink of having them.

I have thought about adoption later on life to try and take the pressure of myself but older kids normally come with a lot of problems, right?

So much pressure, I feel I’ve left it all too late working too much!

The childfree life, although it looks stress free, it looks kind of empty, like something would be missing?

Yes, I do. But men can get away with procrastinating for a lot longer than women!

I'd say early 50s was still ok for men, though not ideal - but only if they have a younger partner (which they would have to do, in fact, because of biology), because it would otherwise be a bit like living with grandparents for the child.

Ideal is 20s for both parties!

I'd say late 40s for men, 50 at a push.

If you are 34 and want to meet someone to have kids with, do not factor age into it. You could miss out on someone who's perfect for you if you dismiss them because you think they are too old to be a Father. Men do not have biological clocks, a man can be a Father in his 90's if he wanted!

My DC were born when I was in my 40's and DP in his 50's - the are happy, healthy children. There were no problems with my pregnancies or births.

Definitely not 20s if you intend to have any kind of life, career or wealth. 35 is ideal, you party, travel, establish your career, get to be yourself and know yourself as a person, build a strong foundation with your partner, have a decent amount of money and a good house etc

Thanks for the advice.

I get your point but mid 80’s when the child is 30 😫

for me it was 50 (and that was pushing it). The idea of being a pensioner having a kick about in the park with your teenage son is just.....no.

Lol, do you have experience of having kids in your 20s to so confidently proclaim this?

45 max in my opinion

I am 36 and DH is 37, we have a 5 year old DD and 1 year old DS. I'd like 1 more but he says he's too old now. I think he is ridiculous. Men don't have a ticking clock. I think you've got at least 10 years to get yourself sorted.

Agree with early 40s ish. These things are not set in stone. DH had a health check recently and because he is a very fit man his metabolic age was 30 at 45 so he is likely to be around longer than I will aged the same as him.

Observations of both 🤷‍♀️

44/45. Because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

I agree with this. DH and I are the same age and had our DC at 35 and 37. It was the right time for us as we had done all of the above by that point and were ready to settle down. We don't feel we're missing out on anything now in terms of holidays, nights out, etc. which we definitely would have done had we had kids earlier.

I'd say mid 50's. But I'm in my mid 30's, my dad is in his 80's. He was early 50's when I was born. He had a well establish career, that he didn't fully retire from until his 70's. He's still an active, fit, sprightly man now. Not all 80 year olds are 'elderly' anymore. It's quite and ageist view to think like that. My dad was, and still is, capable of kicking a football around a park with a teenager. My father was able to contribute to a happy life for us growing up. Even when he was a pensioner! Men (and women) of any age can become ill, incapacitated or something can happen where they can't care for their children properly.

I don't agree with other posters about child free people missing out on the best of life either. Children are not the be all and end all of happiness.

I was 31 and it was perfect timing for me, my partner was 38 and agree that was the perfect time for him ( he had 2 previously at 23&24 and it's been completely different)

I think it depends on what you've experienced before kids and if you're ready to let the selfishness go a bit

Let's not call it selfishness, eh? There's nothing selfless about choosing to have children – nobody has them for the kids' benefit.

DH was 52 when DS1 was born . I’m due in June with no2 and DS will be 54( just !!!) he said cut off was 55.
He is a good dad but freely admits he feels so old when he drops ds at nursery and sometimes thinks your 50s should be for relaxing , traveling and golf!!!!!
I do worry for the children as they are likely to loose their dad in their 20s .
My dad was 30 when I was born and he had been absolutely awful ! So it doesn’t necessarily mean an old dad is a bad dad !!!

Realistically I think 45 would have been a good latest age for DH. Then by the time child was 18 he would have been 63. Which is old but not too old !!!

I am 34 and could not imagine being pregnant in 10 years !!!! Or even 5 !!! I’m exhausted now !!!!!!!!!!

Side note - DH is extremely fit and active at his age ! If not he wouldn’t have coped with broken sleep , late nights and chasing a toddler everywhere!!!

i reckon a great age for a man is 38- 40!!!! Having a baby is great but your whole world changes. No more freedom really . So don’t rush it !

Depends how actively involved he'll be.