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Original poster

NHS now say you can cosleep safely.

316 replies

Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 14:17

The never sleep with your baby has now been removed and updated to be safe if you share your bed with your baby.

Isn't that awesome 👏 😊

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Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 17:42

KickAssMumma · 11/03/2023 17:37

@Emmamoo89

I will thank you! (Re pump not syringe). And also thank you for kind words! I’m glad you’re happy about the new advice etc. that’s great news. The issue on mumsnet is that people can be great. But also very divisive. For every almost smothered story there has to be the same amount of fell asleep sat up and almost dropped baby / smothered by blankets in lap as someone has said was their experience here. It’s ok that we are all different. We’re only human so it’s just different strokes etc xx

Its okay 😌 it Is. Yeah you get some judgey aholes. As you can see. Yeah exactly. Yep we are just human and do our absolute best. Xx

OP posts:
user40643 · 11/03/2023 17:42

Whenyouknowbetteryoudobetter · 11/03/2023 14:35

It was always safe. Humans have been sleeping with their babies since the dawn of time. So it’s great the nhs are now encouraging it especially for new mums who may believe putting their baby in a cot is safer when it’s actually more damaging and creates abandonment.

This ^

Thanks for sharing OP. Next on the list is for them to enable safe co sleeping on postpartum wards.

Led9519 · 11/03/2023 17:43

So I couldn’t breastfeed (tongue tie, high palette, low supply, nursing refusal) and dedicate a lot of time to exclusively expressing. Am I allowed to cosleep?

I don’t think formula fed babies- where mothers have turned to formula through need but want- should miss out on the bonding of cosleeping too.

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Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 17:44

marchdays · 11/03/2023 17:41

There are risks associated with co-sleeping and I'm so sorry for any mother who accidentally smothers their baby while co-sleeping - I can't imagine the horror of that:-(.

But there are also risks of suffocating your baby if you fall asleep holding them in a chair or on a sofa and the risks then are much much higher than when co-sleeping.

It has always seemed wrong to me that there was such strong advise against co-sleeping without at least the caveat that it is the safest thing to do if you can't get your baby to sleep any other way.

I never intended to co sleep with my eldest but as he never slept for longer than half an hour ever unless he was being held I didn't actually have any choice!! Human adults do need sleep!

I'm glad for new parents that the advice is now more realistic.

It's tragic 😥

I was one of those who said I'd never co sleep but when he was teething at 8 weeks I had no other option but to do it

OP posts:
Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 17:44

user40643 · 11/03/2023 17:42

This ^

Thanks for sharing OP. Next on the list is for them to enable safe co sleeping on postpartum wards.

Show quote history

No problem 😊 yes I agree

OP posts:
Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 17:45

Led9519 · 11/03/2023 17:43

So I couldn’t breastfeed (tongue tie, high palette, low supply, nursing refusal) and dedicate a lot of time to exclusively expressing. Am I allowed to cosleep?

I don’t think formula fed babies- where mothers have turned to formula through need but want- should miss out on the bonding of cosleeping too.

I'm sorry you couldn't do it. My son had tongue tie was lucky enough to get it sorted.

OP posts:
Okunevo · 11/03/2023 17:47

marchdays · 11/03/2023 17:41

There are risks associated with co-sleeping and I'm so sorry for any mother who accidentally smothers their baby while co-sleeping - I can't imagine the horror of that:-(.

But there are also risks of suffocating your baby if you fall asleep holding them in a chair or on a sofa and the risks then are much much higher than when co-sleeping.

It has always seemed wrong to me that there was such strong advise against co-sleeping without at least the caveat that it is the safest thing to do if you can't get your baby to sleep any other way.

I never intended to co sleep with my eldest but as he never slept for longer than half an hour ever unless he was being held I didn't actually have any choice!! Human adults do need sleep!

I'm glad for new parents that the advice is now more realistic.

Same, I didn't intend to cosleep either but had no choice from three weeks, I wouldn't have been safe caring for a newborn on no sleep for any longer so cosleeping was the safest option.

bussteward · 11/03/2023 17:53

user40643 · 11/03/2023 17:42

This ^

Thanks for sharing OP. Next on the list is for them to enable safe co sleeping on postpartum wards.

Show quote history

Yes - there was a horrendous story recently about a baby in Italy getting smothered in the hospital bed by a mother too tired to return them to the cot after a feed and accidentally falling asleep. Wider beds or next-to-me style cribs would be wonderful. Though I’ve been lucky both times postpartum and had my babies tucked in with me, with a quiet enough ward someone could always keep an eye.

PotatoFacedWombat · 11/03/2023 17:55

Ridiculous bickering on this thread. Why not accept that mothering can be different for all people? Co-sleeping is literally life-saving for some, putting baby in a cot is the safest option for others. Why feel the need to think that our way is the only right way and castigate other mothers for it?

Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 17:57

PotatoFacedWombat · 11/03/2023 17:55

Ridiculous bickering on this thread. Why not accept that mothering can be different for all people? Co-sleeping is literally life-saving for some, putting baby in a cot is the safest option for others. Why feel the need to think that our way is the only right way and castigate other mothers for it?

I've only seen 2 aholes. Don't deserve the grief I'm getting.

OP posts:
MrNook · 11/03/2023 18:01

Brilliant news! I still co sleep with my almost 2 year old and my HV always tells me off ( I do it completely safely )

DD2 is due in July and I'm not planning on co sleeping again but at least I hopefully won't be told off if I do

BridieConvert · 11/03/2023 18:02

Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 15:27

Best way to be to not give a shit. When I've co slept it's not stopped my son sleeping in his own room. Like I assumed he would be clingy and not want to be in his own room. Hasn't been one issue. I get shit for putting him in his own room at 11 weeks. It was right for both of us.

Show quote history

So your son went into his own room at 11 weeks yet you co-sleep? 🤔

Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 18:03

BridieConvert · 11/03/2023 18:02

So your son went into his own room at 11 weeks yet you co-sleep? 🤔

Show quote history

Yes when he was in screaming pain with teething

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Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 18:03

BridieConvert · 11/03/2023 18:02

So your son went into his own room at 11 weeks yet you co-sleep? 🤔

Show quote history

I don't co sleep often.

OP posts:
Chias · 11/03/2023 18:04

13yrs ago, as I left the nhs hospital with my newborn, I was given a leaflet by my midwife on how to co-sleep with my baby.

Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 18:05

MrNook · 11/03/2023 18:01

Brilliant news! I still co sleep with my almost 2 year old and my HV always tells me off ( I do it completely safely )

DD2 is due in July and I'm not planning on co sleeping again but at least I hopefully won't be told off if I do

Isn't it 😌 I do it if I have to and baba cuddles are the best 🥰 so there has been times when I could of put him in his room but didn't 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 18:05

Chias · 11/03/2023 18:04

13yrs ago, as I left the nhs hospital with my newborn, I was given a leaflet by my midwife on how to co-sleep with my baby.

Its so good that some did do that.

OP posts:
FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 11/03/2023 18:05

AndTheSurveySays · 11/03/2023 14:44

It was always safe. Humans have been sleeping with their babies since the dawn of time. So it’s great the nhs are now encouraging it especially for new mums who may believe putting their baby in a cot is safer when it’s actually more damaging and creates abandonment

I attempted to co sleep with my breast fed baby. I ended up practically smothering her twice by rolling almost on top of her. If my DH hadn't checked on us I'm sure my DD would be dead.

Sounds like you weren’t cosleeping in the correct position.

Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 18:07

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 11/03/2023 18:05

Sounds like you weren’t cosleeping in the correct position.

Show quote history

That's what I thought.

OP posts:
TheSnailAndTheWaaaail · 11/03/2023 18:13

"It will also not be encouraged on maternity wards with exhausted post natal mother's in hospital beds as will be down right dangerous."

A midwife helped me feed lying down overnight and told me I could stay like that all night. I was post c-section and in a side room alone so clearly they thought it was ok! This was 6 months ago.

Tinybrother · 11/03/2023 18:14

FrodisCapering · 11/03/2023 17:09

It's not safe to co-sleep. There is no such thing as safe co-sleeping.
Of course many people will be quoting Japan and McKenna but it's total crap.
So much survivor's bias it's unreal.
Not much point arguing about it because people will do what they want. I am just glad that both my kids were put to sleep on their backs in empty cots with no blankets, away from windows and furniture.

That’s great that it worked for you, but weirdly it turns out that telling parents that your way is the only safe way to do things actually results in more babies being less safe. It’s a balance. Because some parents in their efforts to get their babies into the safe situation yours were in end up accidentally falling asleep and putting their babies at more risk than if they had been set up for safer bedsharing. People aren’t “doing what they want”, but some have been trying to follow the guidelines to the letter and ending up in worse situations. Not because they didn’t try hard enough to do it the way you did, or are feeble or whatever, but because they are tired and doing their best and have been given one way of doing things and no other.

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 11/03/2023 18:15

DownInTheDumpster · 11/03/2023 17:19

@Emmamoo89 newborns can barely move independently though and regardless of bf surely stay near the mother?
If there’s evidence for it fair enough but as someone who had severe PND triggered by an inability to breastfeed being then not allowed to do another ‘amazing bonding’ thing would have been a dagger to the heart.

@DownInTheDumpster, sending you all my love. I couldn't BF either, due to my meds, but plenty of other mums can't for whatever reason. If it's by choice, that's absolutely fine and shouldn't be criticised.

One of the midwives who came to see me after DS3's birth told me, very frankly, that along with awful PPD, pressure to BF sent her spiralling so far she ended up being sectioned.

It really hit home. The sheer pressure mothers are under to be bloody perfect, often at a massive cost to their own health and wellbeing.

abroadandbored · 11/03/2023 18:18

Great news

Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 18:18

TheSnailAndTheWaaaail · 11/03/2023 18:13

"It will also not be encouraged on maternity wards with exhausted post natal mother's in hospital beds as will be down right dangerous."

A midwife helped me feed lying down overnight and told me I could stay like that all night. I was post c-section and in a side room alone so clearly they thought it was ok! This was 6 months ago.

Aww that's lovely 😌

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Original poster
Emmamoo89 · 11/03/2023 18:19

abroadandbored · 11/03/2023 18:18

Great news

Yes 😌

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