what do you of boarding schools?

[beachlover]

just ben watching phil jupitus talk on the wright stuff about boarding school, seemed like he didnt enjoy it too much

and wondered what your views are ?

Wish I could afford to send mine!

I have friends who went and hated every minute, to the point of getting themselves expelled. I have friends who loved every minute, who still have excellent relationships with their parnts and friends they made at school. All of these friends ended up very well educated.

It depends on the child, it depends on the school, it depends on the family circumstances (many were the children of Forces personell who move every 2-3 years).

As with most things child related, it depends.

I boarded from 7-18. It was the best thing for me. Mostly I thrived and the alternative would have been worse. But I would never send my own child to board and I think that tells a lot. I might consider it for sixth form.

The thought fills me with horror. It's not for me or my children anyway.

I went from 12-18 and loved it, but my parents were posted abroad and therefore had little choice but to send me, if I was to be well educated. The thought of how much I'd miss my children puts me off sending them, despite how much I loved it.

I would have hated it but my husband enjoyed most of it. He was a sporty lad and liked being able to play cricket until ten at night in the summer or always having someone who felt like kicking a ball around.

I might flexi-board my son when he's a teenager on particularly busy nights (once or twice a week) to save everyone's time and energy. I like having him around too much to do it full-time.

Cruel.I think for many children it is the family life at the end of the day that keeps them going in school.Can you ever really 'know' a child who is never there?What if they need a hug or advice etc.How can you support them through crises No No No

Agree with MB, it depends. For the socially awkward or diffident child I imagine it would be absolutely hellish.

I cannot imagine sending my children away.

my dh's boss sent their 13 year old to board last september. he is very grown up and nearly 6 ft tall - the point I am trying to make is that he isn't a typical victim - and quite an independant boy. He asked to board - he had already been attending the school as a day pupil.

After the christmas holidays he didnt want to go back. He had been bullied. He had had things stolen and people had tipped water in his bed to make it look like he had wet the bed and other stolen things had turned up in his possessions - i.e been planted there.

He and his parents spoke to his house master about it and supposedly got it sorted - I don't know if it has worked or not.

They have to ask permission if they want to take him out at the weekends, or go and see him, and even if it is granted he cannot come home before 12.30 on the saturday, and has to return by 5pm on sunday.

At the risk of being flamed, I think people that send their children to boarding school never really wanted them anyway.

No no no, Caz. I boarded, because my parents thought they were giving me the best education they could and I have no doubt about their love for me.

As it happens, I hated it, but because I knew my parents were doing the best for me, and making sacrifices in doing so, I didn't like to tell them. It just didn't suit me - or rather, that particular school didn't.

My DH on the other hand, absolutely loved it, as did my brothers and sister. My nieces chose to board and are also incredibly happy and thriving. Quite simply, everyone is different. My DD is interested in 6th form boarding and if I can afford it and if she is still interested, I will consider it.

I chose to board in 6th form despite living only 5 miles from the school. I loved it and am still in contact with friends from there. Wouldn't consider letting DD board before sixth form though, too much at stake if they aren't happy and you wouldn't get to see them enough.

I would add that it was a boys school that took girls in the 6th form only - hardly surprising that I loved it after previous 5 years at girls school!

for a lot of kids in Aus it is a necessity - especially when it comes to secondary schooling - there are simply none within an appropriate driving distance and distance ed/home schooling can be difficult if they live on a property. Lots of 'bush' kids board in major towns or cities.

eidsvoid

That is very interesting re kids from the outback. I was on holiday in the wonderful Island of Arran, 1/2 an hour off the mainland of scotland. the kids there are educated in the island's 1 secondary school, but have to board to do their highers at 15-17.

I boarded for three years. I enjoyed some of the time but looking back there was quite alot of inappropriate stuff going on eg one night I was ill and got up to find a member of staff only to find the entire school deserted of adults leaving 100 girls between the ages of 4 and 14 sleeping alone. We were also pretty much left to run riot at weekends as well, which was great for us but sure our parents would have had heart attacks if they knew.

Personally would never send my kids away. I couldnt bear it, children belong with their parents. I can see that in some situations there may be no other choice but if you send them away when there are perfectly good schools nearby then I think you are doing it for your own convenience not their well being. They will leave home eventually wont they? why bother having them to send them away?

I boarded for a year, it was the worst of my life, the kids there were stuck up ( i wasnt i only went as my Gdad came into cash) and most were unfriendly, I was recently bereaved ( my mum died three weeks before i was due to go and my gdad wouldnt delay the start date) so this probably didnt help, i found staying there overnight lonely and bewildering, I was 10 mum-less and miserable the whole time

Oh, BMLB, I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

I boarded from 9 -18 and loved it. My parent's lived all over the world and moved frequently so it provided stability. We enjoyed the holidays more as time was more precious. I think it depends the school and the child as to wether it works, and also the reason for sending them. I would not send my children if our current life continues as we are unlikely to upsticks and therefore there is no need. However if the circumstances were different I would do it. Of course I would miss them (just as my parents did me and my sister). I have long lasting friendships from those days now living all over the world. Makes for great holidays catching up. I went to an all girls school to so I think that help in terms of growing up/puberty as we were all very close, and as I decided to go down the science route it was much easier than some co-ed schools.

I boarded for five years. It was fucking atrocious in just about every respect. If home life hadn't been marginally worse, I'd have run off repeatedly until they threw me out (there were quite a few who did).

I just find the nitty-gritty of family life so very special that I wouldn't want to take that away from any of us. All the family discussions, chats around the dinner table, gradually sharing more and more decisions, the family in-jokes. And our ability to add educational input to that of the schools. Talking to the kids about everyday life, our jobs, shopping and planning meals together, letting them see us balancing a budget, and letting them see dh and me working on our relationship as a couple. I think it's all valuable, and for dh and me to talk to them everyday is immensely valuable.
I think we would all lose out if they went to live elsewhere.
Though obviously, if we lived in a remote island, that would just be a normal feature of life and we'd put up with it.

I boarded in the 6th form only which was fantastic for me and suited me perfectly: it was a good school and good for me to have a break from home. It's also a fantastic preparation for university. University was just a piece of cake for me because I'd been away for a couple of years, felt like an old hand.

I was a day girl at a boarding school for 4 years too when I was younger. Boarding is great if it suits the child and the school is right for them. And those are two massive 'ifs'.

It clearly doesn't suit all children. But I think my ds would love to be a weekly boarder in a couple of years. He's massively gregarious and adores being with other kids. He has a good personality for it. But it's out of the question financially for us, also we couldn't bear to be without him for any length of time!

SA thanks for that, It was horrid although i probably wouldve enjoyed it if my mum hadnt of just dies, i blame my gramps!

mmj, that was exactly my experience. My school only had 250 pupils and was in the middle of nowhere. It was like being stuck in a large, noisy, acrimonious, dysfunctional family for weeks on end.

I could never do something so shitty to my children, whom I love and want to be near as they grow up.

Boarding schools are just kennels. They're like posh children's homes, only less well regulated.

worth a read, if you're seriously considering it