what do you of boarding schools?

[beachlover]

just ben watching phil jupitus talk on the wright stuff about boarding school, seemed like he didnt enjoy it too much

and wondered what your views are ?

I boarded from 5-18, as a weekly boarder until the age of 11 and then a term boarder after that. I didn't dislike the experience. All the cool things happened at weekends and so if you weren't there you missed out on the action . And I made some life-long friends.

But while a lot of people have touched on the impact it has on the child at the time, I don't think anyone has mentioned the impact it has on the relationship between child/parents even into adulthood.

When you go to boarding school you learn to be independent. so as a result I am now fiercely independent. If I was sad/upset I would talk to my friends, maybe even a teacher I trusted, but never my parents because they were hundreds of miles away. And so as an adult I never had that relationship where I could go to my mum with anything so I still can't now.

I never experienced what it was like to come home at the end of the school day and be at home with my mummy and daddy - even as a 5 year old.

My birthday was always at school and so was never special.

My sister didn't board so she had all these things that i didn't. And she is now very close to my parents, pops round all the time/they look after her kids etc but I don't feel I have that - I don't feel as if my parents home is my home in the same way she does, iyswim?

I could never do it to my child, and I do think that parents that consider it as a long-term option should seriously consider the implications, even into adulthood.

My excharges are well and truley loving boarding school. (aged 14 and 11)

my 7 year old ex-charge (who i had from birth) is about to start boarding after feb half term...

i think he is still really little but he cant wait to be like his brothers who love every minute of boarding

wish i could afford to send my eventual chidlren to the schools they go to

I boarded from 12-18 at an all girls school, and looking back now I think it was the best choice for me. When I went I had so many romantic Mallory Towers expectations, and it wasn't like that so much, butit really was the best time of my life. All those experiences, giggling with friends over stupidities at 10.30 when you're supposed to be asleep, playing masses of sport, not having to argue with parents over silly little things like homework, getting up etc. I came out of it a much more mature, independent, confident young woman than I think I would have been if I hadn't gone. And, I wasn't a forces child, and most of us weren't. It was just that our parents and us had decided it was the best option. Now, if I had the money, I would consider it for dcs (v unlikely scenario).

to thoses that went to boarding school, where did you live after school or uni finished?

did you ever return to the family home?

or was it uni then place of your own?

Cazboldy, it's fine to offer your own point of view (eg "I would not send my own children because I'd miss them too much") but quite a leap to accusing those parents of boarding children of not wanting their kids!
Either you were trying to provoke a reaction, or you haven't thought this issue through. There are certain situations in which boarding school is absolutely the best option.

MB had it in the first few posts. She's right - as usual.

Depends.

I think NOT under any circumstances for ds1 and ds2. They'd sink like stones. DD I can imagine might like it from about 13 or so - but she won't go because there is no reason why she should and it won't be as nice as living here with us.

Xenia did a good post about boarding schools the other day, I remember reading it and nodding. I think it was along the lines of you build up a survival instinct, and then call that instinct independence, but a part of you is shut off behind a hard shell- and that is a bad thing. I agree.