leaving 5 week old , is it to soon?

[lockdownmummax]

My son is 5 weeks 2 days old tomorrow, me and my partner have arranged to go out for Valentine's Day tomorrow, have dinner booked for 5pm and then crazy golf booked for 7pm, planning on going for 1 or 2 cocktails after and to be home for 10ish,
my partners mum is coming over to our house to watch baby and toddler , she is staying the night and will sleep in room with baby and me and my partner will sleep in the other room,
Am I being crazy for doing this?
With my first I actually never had a night out until she was over 1 year old ( covid times)
I'm not going to get drunk just a cocktail or two, and plan on enjoying the nights sleep but if baby is unsettled I will be in the next room, part of me thinks I'm crazy for going out to soon and the other part of me thinks it's only for an evening and I will be in the next room from him through the night?

I had to have an operation when my son was 5 weeks old. Didn't see him for 3 days. I was breastfeeding, it was hell, but it did no damage whatsoever. We have a wonderful relationship now. He's securely attached. Most importantly, he's happy! Funnily enough now he's 4 and can talk, he's never once mentioned that time I disappeared for 3 days! Have fun OP.

When posting things like this I think people need to remember the feelings of parents who may have had no choice. If your baby is in the neo natal unit for example. Are you saying all those babies are traumatised by not being with their mothers 24/7?
In the OP's situation (and others who have posted), the baby is with someone who loves and cares for it. The baby will feel loved, fed, warm and comfortable in its own environment.
The mother will feel human, refreshed and energised. Its a win win. People should do what feels good for their family without judgement.

Of course it's fine! Have a lovely time, bet it's been ages since you let your hair down a bit and had a nice time with your partner. There are some really weird replies on here, I hope you don't let them get to you. Enjoy, I'm 39
Weeks pregnant and will be doing the same as soon as I can walk again 😅xxx

Ah the joy of judgemental women. I went to a friend's event two weeks post birth and dad had baby. We took turns doing nights so baby often had 10 hours without me and is a well adjusted teen.

Go enjoy however, can I just caution tiredness might hit you so be prepared to go crash out earlier.😃

I am very much of the belief happy mum happy baby.

Thank you for everyone's comments and views,
for the comments stating they think it's selfish that is fair enough and everyone is entitled to their own opinions of course, when I had my toddler it was during covid and I never had a night out ( I don't mean a piss up I mean like anytime to do something myself for longer than an hour even just a meal) for a year, I suffered from major PPD and promised myself I would take better care of myself this time around, when I did try to leave my daughter to go out she would scream and I would end up not going as didn't want to leave her, this time once the baby blue's cleared in actually feeling pretty positive and upbeat about life with a newborn and everything the future has to hold so I'm hoping to stay in this mindfrsme and take time for myself every so often, I'm not saying I'm going to go out and drink every week but maybe once a month heading out for the evening with my partner or friends and coming home the same night, I think this will help me not slip into the same pattern as I did with my first born,
Also it's not my partner pressuring me into going out my partners really supportive and understanding, he asks what I feel up for and comfortable with,
Also I want to stress I won't be getting " drunk " I will be home around 10pm, if baby is unsettled during the night I will be in the next room to comfort him and back to being in mum mode 24/7
I trust mil 100% of course she's great

@violetcuriosity
Oh absolutely, I had Pelvic girdle pain during pregnancy had to stop working early, was in so much pain with it so I feel like I have been in the house for months and months stuck on my couch lol, congratulations and best wishes for a safe birth xxx

@Marblessolveeverything
Thank you very much, I will probably want to go to sleep after the meal after I've ate my body weight in pasta lol xx

I wouldn't want to but absolutely no judgement from me - have a brilliant evening!

The baby isn't being left overnight.
Mum and dad are both going to be in the house, in the room next door.
Baby will have grandma in their room with them, but op and her partner will both be close by in baby needs them. Both will be perfectly functioning after 1-2 cocktails.

I assume your partner didn't need to go out to work if you were both embracing the need for intense closeness.

🙄 another crock of shit post

Some of you need to check your privilege. Over 30 years ago I had to go back to work full time when my DD was 6 weeks old. I had no partner and no generous maternity package. How selfish was I? The OP is talking about a few hours in the evening leaving her baby with trusted family members. Get a grip.

Go enjoy yourself its only for a few hours. Grandparents will love having little one for a few hours bonding. We have 3 babies left them for around 3 hours when they were about 6weeks with my parents when my hubby took me for a meal it was lovely but the only thing we didn't drink as we wanted to be fully able to drive should an emergency have cropped up.

4th trimester 😂

Me too, though had a partner. DC just graduated with a first, is a lovely person and has no PTSD. Fourth trimester wasn't a thing, we just got on with it.

OP have a wonderful evening and don't forget that spending time on you will have very positive benefits for your children.

My only concern would be drinking when you're not used to it and maybe sleeping badly/feeling rough. It will be very good for you to have a little break though! Enjoy! X

@Nowdontmakeamess
This comment hit a nerve, I not a selfish person at all or entitled,
I fell pregnant at 19 with my toddler, grew up massively during my pregnancy to be a good mum for my toddler, I was in a dead end job earning very little and decided I wanted better for us so headed off on my studies to become an adult nurse, ( I'm actually in the house more at uni than I was when working) I work night shift along side uni, finish my night shift and straight into mum mode with no sleep so I'm not away from my toddler to much, I napped when she did. I'm taking my full maternity leave from uni but will be going back after and continuing my studies and raising my 2 kids, if I'm not taking care of my kids, I'm in the hospital taking care of my patients or studying, time to myself isn't selfish and my kids won't grow up to be selfish or entitled because they haven't been brought up around it, there being brought up in a home full of love with a mum who will hopefully set an example that they can do anything they set their mind too, that giving and helping people in their time of need is better than taking and showing kindness makes a whole lot of difference in this bitter world, and that taking time for themselves every so often in parenthood isn't selfish or entitled, it's taking a break to recharge so they can be better for themselves and their children x

Isthisexpected · Today 00:09
Personally I think this is so selfish. The fourth trimester is all about baby adjusting to being outside of the womb and not having your comforting smell, touch and heartbeat at all times. To plan to go out for an hour, fine. But the whole evening and then sleep in a different room and drinking alcohol, it's like you both want a night off from being baby's parents already. You've just had a baby! I am flabbergasted at how insignificant baby's needs are to you.“

Don’t be ridiculous.

Hope you have a lovely evening, OP.

@nurseynursery
I have thought about this, I'm not a big drinker tbh and I haven't had a drink in 11 months, if I do decide to have a cocktail I'll be drinking is very slow, will drink a ton of water once I'm home x

We left our 1 day old baby for a couple of hours, and we went to watch the football! They are now 23 and it doesn't seem to have done them any harm! Unfortunately, our team lost though!

OMG!! Can't believe the post about it being selfish FFS. No wonder women speak of mum guilt when we have to deal with attitudes like that.

How lovely. Do it! For what it's worth when mine was tiny... I slept in the spare room alone, several nights a week and DP did all the feeds. It was incredible. I stopped breastfeeding at 5 days. I never really felt that exhausted feeling. My DS was sleeping through from 5 weeks too. He was asleep from about 7. Then bottle at 10 when we went to bed then slept until 6. Your baby might not even notice you've gone!

Some of the completely OTT and overly dramatic posts on here about the baby being harmed by having 5 hours being looked after by someone else really need to understand the privileged position they are in. I went back to work when dc1 was 5 weeks old. As in out of the house for 8 1/2 hours, for 5 days in a row.

My young adults are all well adjusted, confident, loving, friendly articulate, capable people.

It's fine as long as you feel up for it. Babies are hardy little things, the human race wouldn't have got this far otherwise

I'm a lone parent and believe me, spending all the time with your dc's is overrated and doesn't do anyone any good.

To each to their own. Mine weren't out of grabbing distance for the first 6 months, but then I demand fed them, and were they demanding!

We went to see Ed Sheeran when baby was 4 weeks and I went back to work at 10 weeks.
You'll be fine! Have fun!! (We haven't had a night away since and he's 9 months now).