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Original poster

leaving 5 week old , is it to soon?

133 replies

lockdownmummax · 10/02/2023 20:33

My son is 5 weeks 2 days old tomorrow, me and my partner have arranged to go out for Valentine's Day tomorrow, have dinner booked for 5pm and then crazy golf booked for 7pm, planning on going for 1 or 2 cocktails after and to be home for 10ish,
my partners mum is coming over to our house to watch baby and toddler , she is staying the night and will sleep in room with baby and me and my partner will sleep in the other room,
Am I being crazy for doing this?
With my first I actually never had a night out until she was over 1 year old ( covid times)
I'm not going to get drunk just a cocktail or two, and plan on enjoying the nights sleep but if baby is unsettled I will be in the next room, part of me thinks I'm crazy for going out to soon and the other part of me thinks it's only for an evening and I will be in the next room from him through the night?

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afinishedkiss · 11/02/2023 01:21

PinkPantherPaws · 11/02/2023 00:55

Again, get a grip

Eloquent, well thought out point there @TheFormidableMrsC 😂

No grips needed here...i stand by my post. Feel free to disagree and hand your own newborn off on overnights to all and sundry at less than a week old. I'm comfortable in my views that that's shitty though.

Baby is 5 weeks old. At least read the post.

loopyloutoo · 11/02/2023 01:27

Isthisexpected · 11/02/2023 00:09

Personally I think this is so selfish. The fourth trimester is all about baby adjusting to being outside of the womb and not having your comforting smell, touch and heartbeat at all times. To plan to go out for an hour, fine. But the whole evening and then sleep in a different room and drinking alcohol, it's like you both want a night off from being baby's parents already. You've just had a baby! I am flabbergasted at how insignificant baby's needs are to you.

Ridiculous comment

TimeToFlyNow · 11/02/2023 01:51

Go and have fun . Baby will be fine

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WandaWonder · 11/02/2023 01:54

We did, we happily handed over our baby to the inlaws, they got to spend time with their grandchild and have had their own babies before

Babies and children are perfectly ok without their parents all the time

AntiHop · 11/02/2023 02:02

I couldn't imagine leaving my baby at that age. I didn't want to.

Ponderingwindow · 11/02/2023 02:11

I wouldn’t have done this. We embraced the idea of the 4th trimester as a time of intense closeness with both parents. just a different philosophy.

kitcat15 · 11/02/2023 02:15

PinkPantherPaws · 11/02/2023 00:48

Personally I wouldn't have left them at 5 weeks for that long and I feel it's unfair on the baby. Clearly many disagree though as shown on this thread, so you'll never get a consensus if that's what you're looking for.

As for the poster whose dd left her baby overnight with her at 6 days old to go to a wedding...sheesh. That's hardly something to be proud of and pretty crappy parenting whatever way you look at it. I can't imagine why you'd support anyone to leave their days old newborn overnight just to go on a jolly. Poor baby.

🙄 nah you sound like the crappy parent...whose kids will turn out as judgemental as you .....don't you worry yourself about my GDs ...they are just fine 😁

PinkPantherPaws · 11/02/2023 02:33

nah you sound like the crappy parent...whose kids will turn out as judgemental as you

If you mean that they'll have the same values as me - which puts the needs of your 6 day old baby above your own desire for a piss up/night out - yes, I hope they do.

StampOnTheGround · 11/02/2023 02:38

People are being so dramatic over 5 hours away when you're likely spending 24/7 with your baby the rest of the time, I agree with the majority OP - go and have fun, you deserve it!

PointyMcguire · 11/02/2023 02:45

Admittedly PFB but my DD is also 5wks and 2 days and I honestly can’t imagine leaving her for that long at this stage. I nipped out earlier to pick up a prescription and even that felt too long, even though she was with DH the whole time. I think it’s the sleeping in a separate room that tips it for me, but ultimately you’re the best judge of whether this is something your baby will be ok with or not.

kitcat15 · 11/02/2023 02:53

PinkPantherPaws · 11/02/2023 02:33

nah you sound like the crappy parent...whose kids will turn out as judgemental as you

If you mean that they'll have the same values as me - which puts the needs of your 6 day old baby above your own desire for a piss up/night out - yes, I hope they do.

🥱🙄

GiltEdges · 11/02/2023 02:56

PointyMcguire · 11/02/2023 02:45

Admittedly PFB but my DD is also 5wks and 2 days and I honestly can’t imagine leaving her for that long at this stage. I nipped out earlier to pick up a prescription and even that felt too long, even though she was with DH the whole time. I think it’s the sleeping in a separate room that tips it for me, but ultimately you’re the best judge of whether this is something your baby will be ok with or not.

I agree with this.

LBFseBrom · 11/02/2023 02:57

mynameiscalypso · 10/02/2023 20:36

I think it's fine. I'm just impressed you have the energy for dinner, crazy golf and cocktails when you have a newborn baby!

I thought the same, found it difficult enough to go round the corner to the supermarket when mine was that age :-). You are some woman. However you won't be away from the children for that long and you know they are in good hands which is the most important thing.

Pinkstardust · 11/02/2023 03:10

go and enjoy , for all the negative comments ,don’t worry , I’m sure when your child is an adult they won’t have any recollection of you having a night out at such a young age . What rubbish some people are saying .

SilentNightDancer · 11/02/2023 03:13

I wouldn't have wanted to at that stage, but each to their own.

WandaWonder · 11/02/2023 03:21

PinkPantherPaws · 11/02/2023 02:33

nah you sound like the crappy parent...whose kids will turn out as judgemental as you

If you mean that they'll have the same values as me - which puts the needs of your 6 day old baby above your own desire for a piss up/night out - yes, I hope they do.

Yeah the 'poor' child will be in counselling for years because their parents had a night out shock horror

givingupchocolatemonday · 11/02/2023 03:23

Enjoy yourself! Your right there if you need to be xx

GiltEdges · 11/02/2023 03:24

Pinkstardust · 11/02/2023 03:10

go and enjoy , for all the negative comments ,don’t worry , I’m sure when your child is an adult they won’t have any recollection of you having a night out at such a young age . What rubbish some people are saying .

Well of course they won’t remember it, but that doesn’t equate to the same thing as it having no impact. Babies brains at that age are hardwired to seek the closeness of their mother. Taking that away for an entire evening/overnight without warning will inevitably lead to feelings of stress and confusion for the baby, even if they otherwise seem fine. Yes, the long term impact might be negligible but no one can really say. As a parent to such a young baby, I wouldn’t have wanted to do it, but we are all different.

Scottishskifun · 11/02/2023 03:46

Honestly it wouldn't be for me but that's just me and everyone is different.

Don't put pressure on yourself and be fluid with it, you may enjoy yourself and make it out til the drink or you might not. Your not going to know how you feel fully til out just make sure your partner understands that if you want to come home then that's OK too.

Pinkstardust · 11/02/2023 03:47

Oh give it a rest . One night is not going to impact the baby who may even sleep all the way through and if they won’t remember it, then of course it will have no impact .

Nowdontmakeamess · 11/02/2023 03:57

Isthisexpected · 11/02/2023 00:09

Personally I think this is so selfish. The fourth trimester is all about baby adjusting to being outside of the womb and not having your comforting smell, touch and heartbeat at all times. To plan to go out for an hour, fine. But the whole evening and then sleep in a different room and drinking alcohol, it's like you both want a night off from being baby's parents already. You've just had a baby! I am flabbergasted at how insignificant baby's needs are to you.

I agree. If a Mum is willing to do this at 5 weeks (or younger) then it is unlikely to be a one off with zero consequences for the babies long term development.

All these selfish, entitled people come from somewhere, and if that’s what’s modelled to a child growing up that’s how they’ll turn out.

mathanxiety · 11/02/2023 04:05

I would have found it hard, I have to say. Not sure I would have enjoyed the evening out.

If you have a good relationship with MIL and consider her a person you can trust completely, then maybe that makes a difference.

loverofpants · 11/02/2023 04:26

I went back to work at 6 weeks, so left her from 6.30-5 daily. A few hours will be fine, enjoy yourself

Tinkeytonkoldfruit · 11/02/2023 04:36

I had my first night out a few weeks later around the week mark, went out for a few hours with friends for dinner for a friend's birthday. I was ebf and co sleeping though so couldn't be away long and couldn't have been away from her all night practically or emotionally at that point. Didn't spend the night away from her (incl in different room) until much older. So I would have made slightly different choices but if you feel comfortable and as importantly your baby is doing fine, sleeping well, content then crack on. Obviously you are right there anyway during the night or could come home if baby became upset and can't be settled.

Tinkeytonkoldfruit · 11/02/2023 04:37

*8 week